Angsty Alexander part 9 New Year
When I got to LA I was staying in a cheapish chain hotel near a beach. Anonymous and good for walking and clearing my head most evenings. I was still struggling with the decision over whether to get back with Jay or move forward and what to do about my career.
That first week in LA was a whirlwind. I caught up with Sal and my agent and we discussed my options. I met with the director of the Zombie sequel who was very pushy but interesting and I had a screentest for the big budget comedy though I didn’t think I’d get that part, Id loved the script it was so fresh and funny, for the first time I felt myself wanting the work and even began second guessing being at college.
I had dinner with Mart and John, my lawyer and business manager they loved the pictures I’d sent of the house and were happy I’d done well in my classes. I didn’t talk about the disaster my love life had been, just told them I had my friends visiting at New year and I wasn’t seeing anyone special.
I tried calling Blondie and Jay but they were never around. I was a little worried that Blondie was mad at me for keeping my secret so long and that Jay had found someone new as he always moved so fast.
Eric and I caught up a few times though and so I didn’t feel totally alone. Christmas was so hard, I tried to pretend it was any other day watching movies and eating take out but it was lonely with no one to talk to, no one to eat with or hold.
Finally it was time for the guys to arrive, they were flying in early, we’d have lunch at the hotel then go to a screening. I’d booked us a massive 2 bedroom suite, it had an amazing terrace and jacuzzi tubs. I’d already outlined our catering needs when booking, so the meals were sorted and would be served with minimal intrusion. Sal came with me to check in as, as always she ‘knew somebody’ and had been able to get us a great rate on a cabana at the roof top pool for new years day, she was also stocking the fridge with beer and champagne for us.
The guys arrived together in the car I’d arranged. I took them up to the suite and they ran round like mad things exploring and shouting out what they’d found.
We caught up on their Christmases over lunch.
“I had a crazy week” said Blondie and he launched into his story.
“One evening I arranged to go to a local diner with my prom date Karen, we didn’t really know each other before prom but joked how much easier school would had been if we’d been friends earlier. We didn’t tell each other we were gay at prom but by the magic of social media we know now and she was eager to catch up.
We were talking about our love life and classes and I was telling her about our New Years plans and then I froze. A group of jocks from our class had come in, I was just waiting for the abuse to start. Karen distracted me with a joke and we were laughing together when they came over. It was so weird. They started asking questions about our schools, parties, the dorms.
It was all genuine, they were all jealous as they lived at home and went to community college. They were all serious about transferring after 2 years, they all felt stifled staying in our town.
We were a bit shocked that they were giving us the time of day, that they admitted being jealous was a rush. When they asked me about girls I thought fuck it and told them the truth.
I’m not into girls, I had a boyfriend but we broke up a few weeks ago, still I do okay.
Karen told them she was gay and had a girlfriend.
We were waiting for the insults but they didnt say anything bad, one of the guys Ray was really staring at me.
Later I went to the bathroom to pee, Ray was stood behind me staring at my dick as I finished.
He told me he’d always tried to catch a glimpse at school, as he’d heard rumors about it.
He was trying to pee but he was so hard and of course being a jock who gets everything he asks me to help him out.
And I was all um no, I’m gay but you’re not my type, told him Id never touch his dumb cock. Every insult I gave him his cock was jumping and leaking.
He was complaining about never being able to meet any gay guys in a small town and being so horny for cock.
I turned him down again and again and that got him off, and my outlook totally changed.
We spent the next 2 days together.
He’s completely my bitch now, he’ll do anything for me its crazy.” Blondie stopped to draw breath.
“So is he your boyfriend now?” Jay asked.
“No its just fun over the break. He isn’t my type, I’m just you know, exploring my dominant side. I want another guy like Brian you know a skinny nerd, but this is a fun distraction.” Blondie replied with a new confidence.
“Alexander I need to shower and get ready, which room should I use?” Asked Eric breaking up the chat.
“Oh if it’s okay with you Jay and I will share, we want to get to know each other better now we’re not fighting any more.” Said Blondie.
I hid my disappointment the best I could.
“Okay, just pick a room.”
Blondie and Eric raced off to try and lay claim to the rooms they wanted.
I turned to Jay who had been pretty quiet so far.
“Hey you” I said.
I pulled him into my lap and kissed him gently. My doubts and disappointment lifted as I enjoyed him kissing me back.
“Have to enjoy you while I can.” I said. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ll miss you tonight but Blondie and I thought it would be better for you if we became closer friends. So we thought we’d share a room. I didn’t think you’d be ready for anything yet, I don’t think I am.”
“I understand. Is this too much?” I asked.
“No, I love your affection. Always.”
We resumed kissing.
“Hot” said Blondie from the doorway.
“Super hot” said Eric behind him.
I tried to laugh but I was annoyed at the interruption.
“Jay and I best get ready too, the car will be here at 3. Help yourselves to drinks.” I said.
For some reason I teared up in the shower, mad at myself for putting too much pressure on this visit, expecting everything my own selfish way. I suck at holidays.
I dressed quickly and we went down to the car.
The screening wasn’t too busy, I chatted with some of the crew and met their families.
We gathered up sodas and popcorn from the tables at the back and settled in to watch. I was pleased Jay sat next to me so we could hold hands. He leaned in and kissed me as the credits rolled.
“So what did you guys think?” I asked nervously.
“You were shit buddy.” Said Blondie slapping my back, grinning.
“I’ve no idea which one was you.” Said Eric laughing.
“My hot movie star” whispered Jay kissing me quickly.
The guys went to pick up merchandise the studio was giving out. I spotted Blair my agent at the back.
“Hey Blair I wasn’t expecting you, sorry we didn’t sit together I didn’t see you before.” I said shaking his hand.
“That’s fine I slipped in late. You were very good, I didn’t expect the comic element to be so strong, very clever soundtrack.”
“Yeah I’d no idea that was how they’d go. It was fun.” I replied.
“And the sequel?” Blair said pushing.
“If I do it I have conditions.” I said, I’d had time to think and I wanted to get my career back on track.
“Hit me.” said Blair.
“One if it’s a Sandy Green film I need a lot more money, like 4times the offer.
Two I’ll not work on it until school is out in May.
Three my friend Eric gets a line and a job on set.
Four I’ll come out as Sandy at a press conference after school ends, I’ll be coming out as gay and let them know about dad too, all ghosts laid out. If the studio or anyone related to production leaks my school or picture before finals are over I’ll not do it.” I said.
“1 I always like a target, 2 no problem that fits the schedule, 3 we’ll see what we can do, at worst he’ll be your assistant, is he your boyfriend?” Blair asked.
“No, he’s the red head over there, we’re good friends, he went to a performing arts high school and is doing some more acting in school now.” I said pointing out Eric.
“Okay no promises but I’ll work on it, it will be good for you to have someone with you. 4 okay but I suggest doing a chat show, you can film it and be out the country by the time it airs and we’ll have more control, we might even be able to delay doing it until pre release publicity. Unless you want to be out in the open sooner.”
“Sounds good, thanks Blair that could give me an extra few months of privacy. I’ll talk to Sal and come in to sort paperwork before I head back east.”
I rounded up the guys who had donned silly zombie masks and we got a car back to the hotel.
“I’m sorry I’ve not organized a party to go to. Are you guys okay seeing in the new year here? There’s lots to drink at least.” I said, Id totally forgotten to ask Sal about parties and didnt think we’d fit in any way.
“Sure don’t want to waste this amazing suite. We can party another time.” said Blondie.
“Thanks Blondie. I’ll organize more room service for dinner if anyone is still hungry after that popcorn.”
We drank lots and talked, I mostly just watched and listened, my arm round Jay as he snuggled into my neck.
We turned on the TV to watch the ball drop in New York and drank loads more, we had a group kissing session. As midnight approached we went outside to the terrace, popped champagne and enjoyed the hotel fireworks looking at other displays in the distance. It was pretty cool.
It was a bit chilly so we went inside to resume drinking and talking.
We started talking about our relationships over the year.
“Were you and Aaron always open Eric?” Blondie asked.
“Not really, I mean we had sex with Peter but lots of alone stuff too and I don’t think Aaron would have been too open to me asking for someone else to join us and I wasn’t open to him going to anyone else.” Eric explained.
“But you were okay with Peter and Aaron being alone at Thanksgiving?” Jay asked.
“Aaron and Peter liked to role play rough stuff. When Peter was single I joined them for parts of it, but violence isn’t my thing. Once Peter was with Jay it stopped and they didn’t do anything together as far as I know. Peter did respect you Jay. But they both wanted it, it wasnt a slight on my relationship with Aaron or yours with Peter, just a kink they enjoyed together. So sure I was okay with them getting it out their system over Thanksgiving.” explained Eric.
“That makes it sound so much better than my boyfriend wants to fuck his ex all weekend.” Said Jay bitterly. “But you really think he didn’t cheat on me?”
“I don’t think he did. He really liked you, it made Aaron jealous as hell. I suppose you might think me weak for agreeing to them being together but I really saw it as a separate thing. Of course Aaron soon decided to dump me in style. I’m sorry you and Peter got caught up in that Jay.” Eric went on.
“Peter didn’t have to go along with it. He was a shit, they were both shits and we’re better off without them.” said Jay, squeezing my hand.
“Peter could be an asshole, he certainly screwed me over with you Jay, but that breakup seemed too cruel for him, out of character even.” I said.
“He’s not spoken to me since. I’ve no idea what was in his head, if he was high or something.” said Jay.
“Uh Eric, what did you actually do with Peter and Aaron. Sorry if its prying, its just I’m really curious after the week I’ve just had, and um I’m looking for ideas.” said Blondie, a little embarrassed. He took a long drink.
“I’m not really comfortable spilling about Aaron and Peter’s sex life, Peter likes on occasion to be violently dominated and Aaron enjoyed doing it and sometimes used me in their scenes to add to Peters humiliation. I dont think its right to go into details. I’m sure Aaron would be happy to discuss it with you, he’s not at all shy about anything.” Eric said.
Jay and Blondie starred at him.
“So was it a master slave thing?” Asked Blondie.
“No, Peter didn’t like or want to be controlled in other ways, especially not his orgasm, he didn’t do things for Aaron or call him sir. Aaron had wanted to try a full time thing with him back in highschool but it didn’t work for them. I don’t know the full story. Aaron had a few holds over Peter but we didn’t talk about them. When alone Aaron was pretty loving and affectionate, though he could be mean and manipulative at times. Being my first boyfriend I didn’t really know better.” Eric continued.
“Wow me and Brian were so tame, I loved him though. He was my perfect type, skinny nerd. We never even thought about being open or being rough or anything else.” Blondie said
“That’s how I am” said Jay. “I’m contentedly tame, I love guys and love being in love and showing it. I just want to be with one guy forever.”
“You’re always adorably cute about sex, even if you do end up with jerks. ” said Blondie.
I needed a breather, went for a piss, to wash up and to find some more drinks. When I walked back in Blondie was balls deep in Jays ass while Jay was gasping with pleasure.
I backed out the room and went to bed before they saw me.
Eric came in a while later, showered and got in bed with me.
“Why didn’t you join them?” Eric asked.
“Sorry. I was shocked I suppose, I thought Jay and I were almost back together. Why didn’t you join them?”
“I was just calling my Mom to wish her happy new year and I came back and they were at it. I know they’ve been suggesting a group fuck all day and they called me over but it didn’t feel right, I’m pretty drunk.” Eric explained.
“Shows how much I pay attention I didn’t hear them mention it. I’m being a shitty host, you must be mad at them for lumping you with me.”I said, waves of self pity washing over me.
“Are you kidding, this is all amazing. I’m so delighted you included me even though we’re not as close as you are with the others.” said Eric.
“Sounds like they couldn’t be closer.” I spat
“They’re drunk and horny, it’s not about you.” said Eric trying to calm me.
I buried my head under the pillow and tried to block it all out. Eric held me close.
When I woke breakfast was on the table though it was nearly noon. I ate some fruit and tried to get my game face on. I asked the butler for more coffee and when the others were fed and caffeinated and ready we headed to the rooftop pool.
The cabana was cool with a TV and fridge of soft drinks and snacks. We hung out not doing much. I kept Eric company in the shade most the time, as he burned easily and even though it wasn’t hot he didn’t want to take too much risk.
We messed around in the pool at times and dozed enjoying the warm air, cool for LA but after the cold at school it felt great.
With the other two in the pool I spoke to Eric about the movie.
“I’ve decided to do the sequel this summer. I’ve asked for you to have a job on set. If you fancy a summer in Europe?” I said.
“Seriously, I would love that. I need a summer job and to combine it with travel is a dream. Thank-you. I’ll need to check in with my Mom but I expect she’ll be happy for me.” Eric enthused.
“Phew, I was worried I’d overstepped but it would be nice to have a friend with me. Being out here has been really lonely.” I mused.
“Next Christmas you’re coming to mine. It wont be a pity invite. You cant be alone all the time. We cant be friends unless you lean on me sometimes. I know we’re not as close as you and Blondie and Jay but dammit I would never treat you so casually.” Eric said.
We lay back and chatted more generally about school and our classes next semester.
When I could hold it in no longer I approached Blondie in the pool, Jay had just stepped inside for a minute so it seemed my best chance.
“Why did you do it?” I asked.
“It was just a friendly fuck, we were sealing our friendship, you could have joined in, we were hoping for a group thing.” Blondie said laughing it off.
“Bullshit, you know how I feel about him, you knew it wasn’t a casual move.” I replied.
“Get over yourself, he’s not yours, you know you two are shit together. If me fucking him stops you getting back together I’ve done us both a favor. Saving you from heartbreak and me from ear ache.” Blonde spewed at me.
I walked back to the shade and kept out of his way.
Early evening the grills were lit up and the chefs cooked up a storm, other guests were having parties too so we mingled and made a whole group, it was fun eating and dancing, helped cheer me up again.
Around midnight we went back to the suite, it had just turned Jays birthday.
We went out onto the terrace for a few minutes, I asked Eric for a hand telling the guys we’d be right back. The cake for Jay was in a box in the kitchen. Eric sorted glasses and a bottle of champagne while I put it on a plate and lit the candles. We carried it through to the terrace. It was empty.
The loud sounds of two guys giving pleasure filled the air.
“I’m sorry Alexander, I don’t think they planned this.” Eric said, concerned.
“Jay must really hate me.” I said, trying to think what I had done wrong. We’d been so affectionate before the screening.
“Of course not. Jay told me he’d do anything to get back with you, he’s so in love with you, you see how he looks at you.” Eric said trying to calm me down.
“He’s not trying very hard. I knew Blondie wanted to keep us apart but this is the worst. I hate them” I said.
I blew out the candles and tossed the cake in the trash.
I was sobbing, I couldn’t help it.
“Happy fucking birthday Jay” I muttered.
I cried all night, I felt bad for Eric having a shit time too. It wasn’t just Jay, I’d found myself so down since school finished and alone and unhappy. Without my studies to distract me life was very, very empty, even with the meetings for my next movie. I’d hoped having my friends around for a couple of days would help ease the emptiness and snap me out of it but it had turned out the two guys I love most in the world don’t care about me at all. After hiding who I was I was excited to share more of my life with them, show them my world but I guess it just wasn’t interesting to them.
The next morning Eric and I got some news, neither Clifford or Aaron would be returning to school. As expected Clifford had failed badly and for some reason Aaron’s Dad had cut him off and so he wouldn’t be able to come back.
We ate breakfast in silence. Eric gave Jay his birthday gift and I gave him the card I’d bought, thankful I’d not written anything too mushy in it.
The car service arrived to take the guys back to the airport so we said our goodbyes and I checked out.
Headed back to the hotel near the beach. I rang the housing office to see if I could retain my room as a single given Clifford wouldn’t be returning.
“The room is being put back to a single. However it was offered to the sophomores on the waiting list for singles and it has been taken. There is a vacancy in 306, your room mate would be Felix Choi.” The housing officer said. My heart plumeted.
“I cannot share with Felix, he verbally assaulted me last year and I would not feel safe. Can I get permission to live off campus?” I asked, figuring I could live at the house even though the work was being done.
“It’s unlikely you’ll be allowed off campus if there is another room available. There will be a little more movement today as we process the last of the leavers and joiners. The only way to stay on your floor is if someone will swap with you. Call back after 2.30.” The housing officer said and hung up.
The chance that Eric, Jay or Blondie would cope living with Felix was nil, I couldn’t even ask if we were on good terms, let alone now.
I headed out to see Blair and Sal to talk contracts. They took me to a nice place for lunch but I wasn’t hungry and just picked at my food.
“I’m flying back east shortly, I’ll arrange to meet you at your house with the final papers.” said Sal.
“Thanks Sal. Thanks Blair for sorting the deal.” I said trying to fake proper attention.
“That’s my job, everyone wanted the wheels moving before this weekends opening.” said Blair.
Sal dropped me back to the hotel. I called school again.
“The room we offered this morning has gone to an exchange student.” The housing officer stated.
“So can I live off campus?” I asked hopefully.
“No that request was denied. There is a space in Lorious Suites, you’re being given the slot at the same rate you paid for your old room.”
“I can pay full rate.” I said.
“Young man when this university offers you something, take it.”
“You are in a suite of 6, you room mate is Peter Black. You can pick up the keys from tomorrow after 11.”
Oh hell sharing with the enemy. Things couldn’t get much worse.
I tried calling Blondie, whatever had happened I really needed to talk to someone, he rejected my call. No answer from Jay either.
I counted to ten then called Peter.
“Hey stranger, this is unexpected.” Peter said.
“Hey roomie.” I replied.
“Seriously, um, oh wow. Unexpected.”
“Yeah, I’d already turned down sharing with Felix and was out of options.” I explained.
“Felix? What about Jamie?” Peter asked.
“Jamie got a single.” I filled in.
“Wow, I’m just getting over the shock of Aaron leaving. Clifford fail out?” Peter asked.
“Yes, was expected he did not take to the study part of college. Look can we be civil if we’re living together?” I asked.
“I don’t want any hassle. Last semester was too much drama, I just want to get my head down.” Peter said.
“Thanks Peter. See you soon.”
The next week of break was full of meetings and paperwork before heading back to school. The final movie deal wasnt yet inked but Erics job was secure and he’d get a screentest during spring break. Sal would bring the papers out to me when ready as she had another family visit planned.
I spent the flight replaying new year in my head. What happened that made Jay hate me? What was going on with Blondie? Was my secret too big a betrayal? Should I have joined in the sex that first night? Was he telling me to stay away from jay as he wanted him all along? Arrrrrrgh.
After I sorted getting my keys for my new room I moved my stuff over then headed to the house to wait for the delivery of my storage things from Seattle. I went through options with Sal’s brother Clarke for the house, he’d brought plans and samples and was making things really easy. I was confident the house would be just what I wanted.
He was great helping me store things in one of the garages when the delivery arrived.
Sal drove up in a sleek grey Mercedes.
“Give me a hand guys.”She said popping the trunk.
The trunk was full of beer, vodka and champagne.
“How much does Blair think I drink?” I asked. “he remembers I’m only 18 right?”
“You’ll need it for the housewarming.” Sal said.
She brought the final paperwork in the house and we signed at the kitchen counter.
“Little bro can I get a lift to Moms” Sal asked.
I looked puzzled.
“Sure thing big sis.” said Clarke.
“Here’s the keys to your new car, John told us what you were after and the studio thought it would be a good signing bonus.” said Sal, with a huge grin.
“Wow. Oh god I love it.” I squealed.
I threw my arms round Sal then ran out to the car.
“It’s insured, papers are in your name, enjoy.” said Sal.
I said goodbye then took the car to the store to get some things to make camping out in the house easier. Space heater, sleeping bag and air mattress, cushions, folding chairs and a few bits for the kitchen and food.
After unloading I locked the car back in the garage and jogged back to campus.