Being Peter’s boyfriend made me feel incredible. I was back on top of the world. My classes were going well. My social life had picked back up. My sex life was amazing and I was enjoying acting in 3 pieces for the one act festival.
I meet Eric for coffee after class so we could head over to our playwrights apartment to rehearse.
“How’s things with Brian?” I asked.
“Pretty great. I think we have the right balance of together time and he likes my friends. We’re good together.” Eric says smiling.
“Have you thought what you’ll do over the summer?” I ask, summer is already playing on my mind for my own relationship.
“Not sure. I think we’ll make it and I don’t think Brian will want to play around this summer. He has an internship here in the chemistry department. Did Peter get his?” Eric asks.
“Yes he did. I am so proud of him. If Brian wants a room for the summer he can have one at the house.” I say.
“He actually asked me to ask you, so yes please. Back to your question I think we’re going to try and be faithful. He is planning to come out to see me at the end of summer, my Mom is coming too but she has business in Germany so can’t travel with me as much as we planned so Brian and I will backpack for a bit.” Eric says, looking very happy.
“Do you know what Jay is planning to do for housing? We’ve not spoken since he was such a prick in LA.” I say.
“I’m barely speaking to him myself. He and Ben are a fucking nightmare. Right now if he is going to be living with you I’d seriously consider staying in the dorms.” Eric says.
“That bad? Seriously?” I say.
“Ben is obnoxious and Jay just follows along. He’s like Felix used to be, a total bitch. I’m so glad I have Harry and Bobbie near by, they’ve been great.” Eric says.
“I’m sorry. He was a really great guy. I feel responsible for how much he changed, even though I know I made up for my mistake a thousand times over.” I say.
“You did. He is easily lead, we know that, a bit of flattery and he’s anyones.” Eric says.
“True, true.” I say. “Lets get to rehearsal.”
We head over to the guys apartment. Two of the 3 guys I’m working with live in the same place off campus and the third comes over to work with us too to make things easier.
We work on all three pieces as a group then run through the changes. Its exciting for Eric and I to be with the older guys and learn from them. They are all supremely talented and the work is incredible. The festival is a big deal, critics and agents will be there and the prizes are amazing, including a year as writer in residence for the overall winner.
Given the prizes its amazing that the collaboration is happening, but its driving them all better, so maybe it works.
When we finish we share some beers and chat.
“Win or lose what is next for you guys?” I ask.
“Win I scramble to find a room and write and write. Lose I’ll find a tutoring gig and write around it.” Said Dan the writer of the 2 hander Eric and I were performing together.
“Tutoring?” I ask.
“SAT prep, admissions prep, you know helping with essays and the like. “ He says.
“Ahh, you know Prof tutored me when I was a kid and he was doing his phd. I was on an acting job, its why he introduced us.” I say, braving a little personal info.
“Cool, If I win its write and write and if I lose. Well I’ve been lucky I sold a screenplay which gives me a buffer and I write a teen fiction series, I’m a hired hand writing under a big name. There is a team of us who churn out the books, its a little creatively stunting but it pays the bills. And I want to stay near Dan either way.” Robbie says rubbing his boyfriends back.
“Wow, well done on the screenplay. Is it going in to production?” I ask.
“I doubt it. Still it was a nice lump sum to a poor student and it got me an agent.” Robbie explains.
“And you Phil?” I ask.
“I’m actually hoping to get a runner up prize, I’m heading out to California after graduation, My girlfriend is out there and I’m hoping for cash to help me move. Then it’ll be get some shit job to pay the bills and write when I can. Hopefully get something I’ve already written produced.” Phil says.
Phil shares this place with Robbie, Dan lives not too far.
“So will you move in here Dan?” Eric asks.
“No. We’re looking for somewhere a bit cheaper.” Dan replies.
I smile and Eric nods.
“I have a garage apartment that I need to let. Its just been totally updated, its not far from campus.” I say.
“Seriously? Can we come by tomorrow before rehearsal?” Dan asks.
“Sure, you can drive me after classes.” I say.
“Deal.” says Robbie.
Eric and I walk back to school slowly, chatting about the guys and speculating which of them might win.
The next evening I meet Dan and Robbie and take them to the house. The furnishings are in place now and it looks more like a home. The apartment is still unfurnished for now.
The guys are overwhelmed and love the space.
“Will we be able to use the deck and garden at all?” asks Dan “I love to write outdoors.”
“Of course, you’re more than welcome. We’re unlikely to be around during the day much, we all study a lot.” I say.
“I don’t see it being in budget though.” Says Robbie sadly.
“I like you guys, you’d be saving me the bother of advertising and dealing with more viewings. How much are you looking to pay?” I say.
They name a price that is more than I expect. I knock $100 off and they laugh at me.
“You’re meant to negotiate up not down.” Dan says.
“I said, I like you guys and you are saving my time and money. Do you need furnishings?” I ask.
“Not really we have a fair bit between us. We probably need more bookshelves but we’ll get those.” Robbie says.
I’m delighted another thing is off my mind. Eric and I walk back to campus together, happy to have new neighbors that we both like.
That evening the talk I had with Eric about summer is playing on my mind. Peter and I are still in our honeymoon phase but I know I’ll never be able to satisfy Peter’s masochist streak in the way he needs and I want to talk about what we should do.
Peter is sprawled on his bed studying when I get back.
“Can we talk when you’re done?” I ask.
“Shit as in ‘we need to talk’ talk?” Peter says looking up worried.
“Ha no, you don’t get rid of me that easily, I’m crazy about you.” I say leaning in for a hot kiss.
“Its okay, I’m done.” Peter says holding up his book showing the end of the chapter.
I pat hit head and he grabs my hand and pulls me on top of him.
“Give it to me baby.” Peter says, kissing me all over my face.
“I love you too boo.” I say kissing him back.
“Okay, I do love you, super lots, amazing amounts and I need you to be happy.” I begin.
“You too baby, though if you want me you don’t need to try so hard.” Peter laughs and resumes his kissing.
“Honey I meant it when I said I needed to talk.” I say, sweetly.
“Honey?” Peter laughs and gives me one last big kiss.
“I love you and your kisses are not going to distract me. I want you to be happy, I want you to be satisfied. I know that I’ll never be able to put you into the state that you were in after your LA encounter. I can slap your ass a bit but I could never punch you in the face. Its just not me.” I begin.
“I love what we have, you know that right, you know you satisfy me.” Peter says worried.
“Right now sure, but at some point you’ll crave the rough stuff and maybe resent me for not giving you what you need. And I don’t want that. I think we all have kinks and fantasies and we can’t always get all of what we need from our partners. So I’m suggesting that you go outside to get what you need. As long as I know who you are with and where, so you are a lot safer than in LA, then its good with me. And maybe if I need something you can’t give. I’d go outside too.” I say it all in a rush, the whole time Peter is rubbing my back, making me feel safe.
“You love me that much and know me so well. I love you so, so deeply already. I like the idea, of course I do. I like the idea of keeping that side of me separate from you. It caused so many issues with Aaron, he had too much control and not the sort I craved. I need to let you know how much I enjoy you though, I’m not thinking of anything else when I’m with you. I’m not looking at other guys any more either. I am so into you, you wouldn’t believe. If and it is if not when, if I need to go outside then you get to be off the hook. No restrictions. I’d feel too guilty otherwise.” Peter says, looking at me a little scared.
“Okay, we’ll sort out the rules if it comes up but don’t try and hide it from me.” I say.
“Its funny, the hottest humiliation I ever went through was you.” Says Peter, looking at me and stroking my thigh.
“When? I’ve not humiliated you. Have I?” I say confused.
“In LA when I got back. You shouting at me and at the same time taking care of my bruising. You made me feel so small and so, so turned on. When you told me to take care of myself it was like having a thousand orgasms at once, it was so intense.” Peter admits blushing.
I stare at him, barely remembering that night, I’d been so frightened for Peter.
“I was so mad at you that night, I meant to apologize for the way I shouted at you for so long, for the names I called you.” I say a little shaken.
“No need my love. I knew I loved you already but that night I fell so much harder for you. You were mad at me for being stupid but you never judged me for what I’d been doing, you were actually waiting to take care of me. I’d never felt so trusting of anyone as I did you from then onwards.” Peter says.
“Thank-you. Although back then I had no right to be so mad, I was pushing you away constantly. I also wanted to tell you that I knew what it was like, that I’d been dumb and taken stupid risks too.” I said, a little teary from the love Peter was showing me.
“My honey took risks? Mr won’t shorten my name in case anyone connects me to my past? Mr doesn’t talk about anything before life here just in case he slips up? You are the most guarded, safe person I ever met.” Peter says.
“After Dad, you know, I was alone and mad, so mad at the world. My first boyfriend had dumped me when Dad was sick. I wasn’t talking to John and Mart and I didn’t have any close friends at school. I hooked up with a lot of people. Guys at school who wanted to experiment, I fucked a few of their Dads and I went out looking for older guys. I was a mess and I was stupid and I had no one to notice. As long as my grades were okay and I went to school no one knew or cared what I did, so I didn’t care. Its why I went back to film, I was on a scary path and knew I needed to get out of there else I might not make it to college.” I try and explain everything, its hard, I keep everything pushed down.
I look at him, embarrassed and a bit afraid.
“You survived though, you survived what happened to your Mom and you’re surviving the loss of your Dad. You are one hell of a guy. You have conquered that anger and you are doing great. Yes you’ve just had a bump in the road but you’re getting better, stronger and you are not alone.” Peter says crying himself and holding me close.
I look at my strong man and know I can never hurt him, he’s more than captured my heart. I’m all his. That he trusts me with a little of his past is a huge step and I feel privileged that he is opening up. I don’t want to push him though and I don’t want him to wallow.
“Shit, we start talking sex and it ends in tears.” I say to lighten the mood.
“I love you Peter. I know I say it a lot but it just bubbles out, I can’t help it.” Alexander says, kissing me and wiping my tears.
I wipe his.
“You are so special to me. My beautiful man.” I say.
“You’re fucking hot yourself, no idea why I’m offering to share you.” Alexander says laughing.
“Coz you love me so much. Speaking of sharing.” I say
“What?” Alexander asks.
“What about group stuff. You missed out on Erics birthday and much as I love being the only one in I would love to see Harry take you one day.” I admit putting fantasy back on the table.
“My boyfriend the voyeur?” Alexander laughs.
“Hey you’re the one who gets off watching guys jerk off.” I laugh back.
“True, true I said we all have our kinks. I’ve told you before Harry is the only guy who I’ve actually fantasized about fucking me, I so wish we’d done it in the dorm corridor after the party.” Alexander says with a big grin.
“However the problem is, we both have the hots for Harry and we know he is attracted to us, but alas neither of us is in to his boyfriend.” Alexander continues.
“Also true, but our friend Eric has uber chemistry with Bobbie so we just have to arrange a six-some.” I say laughing so hard.
I look at my man, he looks so beautiful. I dry the last of his tears and kiss him and we lose ourselves in our kisses.
“Need to make the most of you, with this festival you are going to be too busy and tired for good loving.” I say aching for him.
We strip quickly and Alexander takes control. I love to submit to him, I love the feel of him deep inside me, they way he can make me powerless and I love that I trust him so completely that I can let go and give myself to him.
Afterwards I cuddle him to my chest.
“You make me feel so loved.” I say, kissing his head, enjoying feeling like his protector now.
“Good. I want you to always feel loved.” Alexander says.
We don’t talk, just caress each other for hours, until we sleep.
I’m throwing a dinner for Peter, Jamie and Brian to congratulate them on their summer jobs and to try out the house. Its the sunday before the play festival begins and I’m trying not to get too stressed.
I’m mixing a salad and Peter stands behind me to rub my shoulders. He starts kissing my next and I shake hm off.
“Just trying to calm you down baby.” Peter says
“I know, I just need to get this done. Is the table ready? Any sign of them?” I ask.
“Not yet.. They are not due for 30minutes. Yes the table is done, yes I got more beers in, yes I love you and they love you and don’t care about the table or the food.” Peter says laughing at me trying to calm me down.
“Thanks” I say.
“Come on lets make out on the new couch while we wait.” Peter suggests.
Some of the furnishings are in and all the kitchen stuff and appliances but not everything yet, which is adding to my stress but I can’t do anything about it.
Peter leads me to the couch and as usual I melt into his arms. I love how equal we are, how we can take turns taking the lead without speaking about it. We make out and hold each other for a few minutes.
“I don’t like seeing you this stressed, I worry you’re taking on too much and not concentrating on getting better.” Says Peter.
I smile and kiss his cheek.
“I love that you care, its normal college student stress, I promise.” I say.
“But you’ve been skipping your therapy.” Peter says.
“I’m doing 3 plays, and trying to keep up with my work, I’m behind, I am never behind. I don’t have time for pointless therapy.” I say, pouting.
“As soon as they play festival is done you will start up again. I can’t be the only one you check in with.” Peter says sternly.
“You are taking your meds right?” Peter says gently.
I nod again.
“Don’t worry, I’m eating and popping pills don’t worry.” I say.
“I just need you healthy.” says Peter and we kiss some more.
I head back into the kitchen and Peter welcomes the others in. Jamie has come without Emma, they’re having issues right now, which I find an extra source of worry. Brian and Eric are happy though.
I serve up lasagne and salad while Peter sorts out drinks. We raise our glasses.
“To Jamie, Peter and Brian scoring kick ass summer jobs.” I shout.
“Cheers” every says clinking beers.
We eat and chat and I begin to calm down.
“Is Alexander as stressed about this play festival as Eric?” Brian asks Peter.
“Yup he’s going nutso.” Peter grins and I glare.
“You’d be stressed if your agent, who has only taken you on because your friend asked him to , was coming to watch you perform for the first time.” said Eric.
“Why is Blair coming to a college play festival?” Asks Peter.
“Lots of Agents and critics come up. Local ones will be in several sessions and ones from further afield mostly come on Saturday when the finalists are on. Blair is trying to grow the creatives side of the agency, he wouldn’t normally come himself to this sort of thing but Mart and John told him about it and he wanted to.” I say, tentatively I may have downplayed the festival to Peter.
“The prize committee is made up of people from college, the local arts scene and a new york agent.” Adds Eric.
“So how do you know who makes finals, could Blair have a wasted trip?” Asks Brian.
“The plays were submitted already, so the finalists are already announced. There are other prizes during the week too but only the finalists are up for the big Artist in residence and main cash prizes.” I explain.
“And you are doing all 3 twice, so they all made finals?” Peter says.
Eric and I nod.
“And its a big deal for the writers and actors?” Asks Brian.
Again we nod.
“No wonder Ben hates you.” says Brian.
“What?” asks Peter.
“He was moaning about Eric having a part and complaining about some science freak who has stolen 3 parts from the theater students, he was so mad. Neither Eric or I let him know it was you. I guess jay didn’t either.” says Brian.
“Jay and Ben are dicks.” says Jamie surprising us all.
“You have an issue with Jay now?” I ask.
“Yeah, he’s just so rude, he ignores me in the dining hall if he’s with Ben but then acts all friendly at breakfast when he’s alone. He’s so fake now. Even Felix was never that bad on his worst day.” Jamie continues.
“I hope nothings wrong. I know you all think I’m too good to him but he was a nice, friendly, decent guy when we met him and he had his reasons for treating me badly but Jamie you’ve not done anything or you Eric.” I say.
“You don’t have headspace for Jay right now.” says Peter rubbing my arm.
I bring out the chocolate tart and strawberries for dessert and the guys dig in appreciatively. I’ve no idea why I was so worried, they are my friends and really don’t judge me. I finally relax.
After the dinner party the guys don’t stay too long, everyone is super busy. Alexander and I snuggle on the couch for a while, he protests that he can’t for long that he needs to do more schoolwork. I know he’s on the edge and I need to pull him back, he’s way too tense to do decent work.
I need to take care of my man, relax him. I strip his clothes, lie him on the floor and kiss him all over taking my time, he soon yields, moaning softly at my touch.
“Love you Peter.” he moans as I take him in my mouth.
“Turn round, let me take you too.” Alexander says rubbing my head as I bob on his cock.
I move for him and undo my jeans. He hungrily takes me out and tends to me beautifully.
When we finish we lie for a moment, a few moments of calm and then I see Alexander tense up again.
“Okay lets shower then get back to school.” I say.
We walk back holding hands and I make sure we don’t go too fast, lingering in the moment.
Back in our room we hit the books then sleep tangled up together.