I’m stressed, stressed, stressed, stressed, STRESSED.
I wake at 5am to work on a paper due the end of the week. I’ve done the research and so its just putting it together but it takes time and concentration and with 3 different characters in my head for the festival its hard to concentrate and with extra rehearsals and class and Peter finding time is difficult too.
I look at my sleeping man. He’s so hot, super hot. I need to make sure I don’t neglect him this week.
Get back to work I tell myself, I get my head down and get on with my paper. I’m done just as Peter stirs.
“Hey Baby” I say.
“Get in here.” says Peter, lifting the covers exposing his hot body.
I get in and enjoy cuddling with him, I can’t believe I ever found sex with him cold. I finally can’t imagine be in anyone elses bed, in any other arms. I snuggle closer and kiss his neck and chest and he rubs my arms and back.
“Ugh I have to go, I’m sorry.” I say pulling myself out of bliss.
“Me too, time for breakfast?” Peter asks.
“Yes, don’t worry I will eat this week. I promise.” I say.
We shower and head down for breakfast. We eat eggs together and reluctantly go our separate ways. We have one class together later so its not a terrible day.
Later in our physics class I zone out, I never zone out. Peter rubs my thigh and wakes me from my daydream. I try and concentrate and feel glad Peter will be taking good notes. I’m so tired and stress is killing my concentration.
As the class finishes Peter and I have a big hug outside.
“I should be back by 9 or 10. Robbie has asked me to stay for the jury comments so we can run through them.” I say.
“Will you have time to eat?” Peter asks.
“Hopefully, there are breaks and I have some fruit in my bag.” I say hoping Peter won’t get mad.
“Hmmm” He says, clearly not happy. “I’ll make sure to pick you something up.”
“I love you” I say.
I kiss him on the cheek and he heads to his next class and I head over to the theater.
Its monologue day. 6 20 to 30 minute pieces are in this session, 5 minute break between each with 30minutes break between the 3rd and 4th I’m fifth up. Once I let Robbie know I’m there I join the audience to watch the first piece.
I look through the playbill. Jay’s Ben will be doing the fourth piece, I look around and spot Jay, he looks to be alone so I slip into the seat next to him.
“Hey.” I say.
“Oh Alexander, hello.” Says Jay. He looks washed out.
“You waiting for Ben’s piece?” I ask.
“Yeah, this one didn’t get through to saturday but he’s in another that did.” Jay replies.
“Is he staying backstage?” I ask.
“Yeah, there are a few from his classes on today, they’re warming up together.” Jay says
“Cool, is he nervous?” I ask.
“Nah, or not that he’s showing. He’s a confident guy. Look Alexander I’m sorry about how I behaved in LA. I was going through some stuff and I was jealous of you and Peter. I shouldn’t have been so rude.” Jay says.
“Okay, thanks Jay. I miss you.” I say quietly.
“I really miss you too. I’d like to be friends but it would be hard seeing you and Peter happy.” Jay says.
“But you have Ben and anyway you rejected me.” I say a bit confused and fed up that reaching out to Jay has brought up drama. I seriously never learn.
“Yeah but come on, my ego is bruised, the two guys who cheated on me, by all accounts are the perfect couple.” Jay says.
“Bitter doesn’t suit you.” I say “I’m happy that you found someone, please be happy for me.”
“I do want you to be happy, but you never will be with him. Guys like us will never be enough for Peter.” Jay says.
“I know, we’re open for some situations.” I admit.
“Wow. Well I guess that solves the tendency you both have for cheating.” Jay says.
“I would never have been what you needed Jay. You worked that out before I did. Fuck it, I don’t know why I try.”I say.
Jay can’t reply as the lights go down for the first performance. Its okay, the actor isn’t great and doesn’t connect with the piece.
During the break I look at Jay. I can’t work out what he’s thinking.
“Is there any way we can put things behind us and start over. I really would like to be friends, especially given we’ll probably be in contact a lot over the summer.” I say.
“I doubt that, Blair will have me fetching coffee and dry cleaning and running all round town doing stuff no one else wants to.” Jay says “But I’d really like to be friends, I really miss talking to you. I’m sorry for being a jealous bitch.”
“We’re having brunch on sunday with Blair, John and Mart. You and Ben should come.” I say.
“We’re already coming, Blair had me book the restaurant and organize cars.” Jay says.
“Well its a good job we’re friends again.” I say and squeeze his hand as the lights go down again.
The second monologue is amazing and the girl performing it is a senior in the theater program and it shows, she is incredible and both Jay and I are shaken at the end.
“Wow” I say.
“Yes. We have 30minutes do you want to get coffee?” Asks Jay.
“Are you not meeting Ben?” I ask.
“No he wants to be in the zone.” Jay laughs.
“Coffee or something would be good.” I say
We walk outside its still warm we get a drink from a cart and sit on a wall together. I fish the fruit out of my bag, its a bit manky but at least I can tell Peter I ate it.
“You’re looking heaps better than you did in LA.” says Jay.
“Thanks, I feel better, though I’m crazy stressed this week. I feel bad not using this break to do homework or something.” I admit.
“Really, I can’t imagine you’re behind, you are always prepared and always ahead. I remember how grumpy you’d get when things got moved around in your classes or labs.” Jay laughs.
“I like to be ready, I learn better if I’m up to date.” I say.
“I’m just teasing. It was one of the things I really loved about you, your attitude to study. You made me study harder.” Jay says.
“Peter says the same. I think because I didn’t go to school until I chose to at 14 I never resented study or homework. I guess I didn’t learn how to study in the same way as anyone else. I was so used to having a 30minute lesson squeezed in and reading text books between takes that suddenly having actual time to study felt like a luxury.” I explain.
“Thank-you.” says Jay.
“What for?” I ask confused.
“For just letting me back in. I love hearing you talk about growing up. After you used to blow me off all the time when I asked about it. Its nice that despite me being shitty to you in LA, you still trust me.” Jay says.
“Thank-you for keeping my secret even though it causes issues for you with Ben. I take it he knows what Blair does given he’s flying in?” I ask.
“Yeah. I um, I lied from the start. He saw my contract and knew what the agency was. I told him Blair was an old family friend of yours and that you introduced him to Eric. Eric has said he auditioned for the movie ages ago through his high school and you fixed him up with Blair once he got the part.” Jay says.
“Okay, I’ll let Peter know, and Blair.” I say.
“Thanks.” says Jay.
“How are you doing? You said you had stuff going on? Is everything okay?” I ask.
“I’m okay, not perfect but okay. Its a long story, can we catch up next week? When all this play stuff is done, I’m sure its consuming you like it is Ben. But I would really love to talk, you might have been shit at sharing with me but you were a great listener.” Jay says.
“I loved the way you’d chatter on about your life.” I say.
We walk back in and take our seats. I’m feeling good, like the last loose end is caught, if not yet tied off.
Ben isn’t great in his piece, the writing is pretty good but he makes some odd acting choices, he’s not a patch as good as he was in the musical earlier in the year.
Fortunately as I’m up next I slip off as soon as he finishes so I don’t have to say anything to Jay.
I’ve no costume and no mic so I didn’t need any pep time. Robbie, Dan and Phil are all in the wings.
“Arrgh we’ve been a bit worried, you’re so casual about this.” says Robbie.
“Sorry, you knew I was here though. Stop panicking.” I say.
They roll their eyes at me.
They set up the table and props and I go on. I enjoy myself immensely. Its a funny piece and I get some laughs in the right places so I know its not going badly. I’m dog tired when I come off though. Its hard to work alone for that long.
The guys all hug me and we walk back to the auditorium to watch the last piece.
Jay and Ben are sat together with another guy who must be the writer of his piece. After the final piece is done we wait for the comment sheets. They are quick. The festival is so well organized.
Robbie is happy with what he receives and says we just need a quick run through saturday morning. Phew no extra time to find.
I wait for Jay and Ben to come out.
“Okay Ben this is Alexander, Alexander this is my boyfriend Ben.” Jay says.
I hold out my hand to shake with Ben but he ignores me.
“I didn’t know that Jay’s Alexander was the same manipulative sneak Alexander who stole 3 parts from theater students. We all hate you, you should withdraw now, there is still time for others to learn the roles. You are scum for doing what you have.” Ben says sneeringly.
“Nice to meet you too.” I say and walk out.
“Wow, nice guy.” says Robbie, I didn’t realize the guys overheard.
“And thats why we ask prof for some help finding actors.” says Phil “Fucking fruit loop that guy.”
“Alexander we are so glad you and Eric found us.” says Dan.
“I’m glad you guys chose us. I had no idea it was usually just theater students.” I say.
“It isn’t. We’ve all entered before and only used theater students once, not that they are bad or all bitches like that one. Most are good, the problem is the best ones are so busy its hard to fit in enough rehearsal.” says Dan.
“I mean we all use the theater department, we have to, its the easiest way to get something produced. Says Robbie.
We all head off our separate ways.
I pull out my phone to let Peter know I’m on my way. I see I’ve a text from Jay.
“Sorry” is all he has written.
I smile and hurry up to my room.
“There are sandwiches in the fridge, one for now one for tomorrow.” says Peter looking stern.
“I don’t suppose I can say I’m not hungry?” I say.
“Did you have anything?” Peter asks.
“Coffee, was a latte so lots of milk and my fruit. I said brightly “Thank you for getting them, you do look after me and I will eat both tomorrow. I’m really tired now.”
“You are very naughty. But I love taking care of you, it was no trouble.” Peter says smiling.
I crawl on top of him for a kiss and fall asleep fully clothed on his chest moments later.
I wake him gently and help him undress. He looks so vulnerable when he’s like this. I still can’t get over what a nurturer he’s turned me into.
Once he’s settled again I go and have a shower. I take my time enjoying the water, thinking of my man, I finger my ass a little and enjoy looking at my cock inflating. I’m teasing myself, thinking of Alexander but not touching my dick. Watching myself twitch about, thinking of how he makes me feel. When I’m as turned on as can be I swiftly jerk myself off. Coming hard and fast.
I clean up, dry off and get into bed with him. He moans lightly in his sleep as I wrap myself around him. I love how protective I am of him. I can’t stand to see him hurt and even tonight when he’s just tired I want to make him better. He makes me want to do more. I am dreading the summer. I know we’re avoiding talking about it, I thought he was talking about openness as a way to bring it up the other week but we got sidetracked.
I wake slowly and see he’s already up doing homework. He’s also half eaten a sandwich which makes me happy.
He’s totally engrossed in his laptop and has a big tent in his shorts so I’m not sure if he’s working or up to something else.
“Hey baby, what you up to?” I ask.
“Working, nearly done.” Alexander replies.
“Thats a big tent for homework.” I say grinning.
“You rolled over and the covers came off and you looked so hot. Its not going down because I keep looking at you. You are a very hot distraction.” Alexander says making me feel amazing.
“I’ll go shower while you finish up.” I say.
“Noooooooooo. I’m about done. I need my morning kisses.” Alexander cries.
I can not stop grinning. He’s amazing.
He shuts his laptop, pulls off his shorts, his giant dick springing free.
“ahh mmmmmmmmmm” I sigh and moan at the sight.
“You are too fucking hot.” I say, I can’t stop staring at my beautiful man.
He bounces on to the bed and starts kissing my navel, he kisses all around my stomach and licks my abs, he’s spreading joy all over me.
“You taste delightful.” Alexander says as he lingers over my nipples, tugging slightly with his teeth.
He’s grinding against me now and carries on as he kisses me, rubbing his cock into my side and he lightly caresses my dick. Everything is so sensual.
I up the pace of the kisses, hungry for him, I need to show him my passion.
He moves down to suck on my head, he continues to grind his big dick against me.
“I love the feel of your leg hairs tickling my dick.” Alexander says looking up at me before taking all he can into his throat. Its a total shock and I can’t do anything but cry out.
“Ahhhh fuck thats too good. Take me baby, suck my dick, suck me hard.”
Somehow he manages to take me a little depper, holding me in his throat, he must be bursting for air, he lets up and bobs away, continuing to hump my leg with his own hard on.
“Ahhh baby you are treating me so well, so good, its so fucking good. Fuck yeah, fuck yeah.” I repeat over and over.
He pulls back to tease me licking my balls as he is humping me harder with his cock.
He takes me deep once more and I can’t stand it I am so, so close.
“Ahhh yeah, come on baby, thats it fuck yeah, oh, oh baby.” I’m lout of control.
He swiftly grabs lube from the side squirts on my already soaked with spit cock and straddles me grinding us together and love the feel of him. I realise how out of control he is as he bucks away while kissing my face.
I reach in and jerk us together and we come, spectacular shots of heavy white come, ropes of it, neither of us can stop. We are panting and moaning and oh fuck it just feels amazing.
He kisses me slowly, gently. Then slides off me.
“I hate to spoil the moment so soon but I’m late.” He says.
“Wait, hows the rest of the week?” I ask.
“Today classes then 2 plays. Then friday I’ve the night off. I would love to work out, I feel mushy. Saturday everyone is coming and I have all 3 plays. Crazy day. Sunday we have brunch at 11 then everyone leaves and it’ll be me and you alllllllll the time.” Alexander says with a big grin.
I love how playful he’s being this morning.
“So can we have a date tomorrow night? Meet at the gym then a movie or something?” I ask.
“Yes please, please, please, please.” Alexander says kissing me with every please.
“Now come shower with me.” Alexander say standing up and grabbing our things.
I feel so relaxed after this mornings fun. I wish we’d had time for more. I love how I can just be with Peter. Him seeing me at rock bottom after Jay rejected me and looking after me so well the last few months has left me with such a strong feeling of trust that I can be totally free with him in and out of bed.
The only thing I’m holding back is talking about this summer apart and I know he’s holding back too. Still I cannot think about that any more until next week.
I run to class, eating the remainder of my sandwich.
I get through the day and the plays go well in the evening, no sign of Jay or Ben this time fortunately. Peter and Brian join me, Eric and the playwrights for a late dinner of noodles. Its good, though I’m a little on edge as I need to sleep and get up early to catch up on my missed class.
“Did the Dean go today?” Brian asks Eric.
“Yes, he’s on the jury but he said he’s talk to me after Saturday.” Eric replies.
“Which Dean? Talk about what?” Peter asks trying to get us back in the loop.
“I’m auditioning to join the bfa theatre program. The Dean is impressed with what I’ve done and that I’ve booked the film and is considering letting me transfer directly into the sophomore class.” Eric explains.
“Wow, big change.” I say.
“Yeah and unnecessary.” says Brian.
“You’re not supporting your boyfriend?” I ask.
“I think Eric is really talented, he was amazing tonight and having the film and an agent is a big deal. But he doesn’t need to change concentration to theater. He could continue with economics as a back up and keep going with theater as an extra curricular.” Says Brian.
“I need the training. I also want to do it full time, econ is not for me, the courses I have loved so far have been film and literature. I want to do this and I think I can make a career.” says Eric.
“Hey I’ve loved working with you on the play. I think you’ll be fine.” Says Dan.
Awkwardness lifts and we chatter about lesser things.
That night I’m super tired again, Peter has to undress me and put me to bed.
“Maybe we should have an early night and not date tomorrow.” Peter says as I lay in his arms.
“No, I want to spend time with you. Gym and dinner and early night?” I suggest.
“Okay.” Peter says and kisses me.
Friday evening after the gym Peter and I are sat in the restaurant where Jay rejected me.
“Have you seen this?” Peter says passing me a copy of the school paper.
I take it and look, there’s a round up of yesterday at the festival and Eric and I both get a good mention.
“Cool.” I say and go back to eating.
“Shit, its no big deal to you is it. You’ve been in every magazine ever.” Peter laughs.
“No it means something. Its the only review Alexander will ever have. And its great for Eric.” I say.
“Who are you this summer, Sandy or Sasha?” Peter asks.
“Sandy, things will change for us next semester. I’ll be out as Sandy and doing publicity.” I say.
“I’ll still love you. I’m ready.” Peter says.
I smile and hope its true.
We head over to the house for the night. My bed is now in place but I’m too exhausted to make proper use of it. Peter rolls over and over loving the size of it and I love watching him.
“Are you planning on having 5 other guys in our bed?” Peter asks.
“Maybe.” I say.
“Super orgy” Peter shouts.
“Come closer, you’re too far away.” I pout.
“At your service. And how can I service you?” says Peter rolling right on top of me and kissing me hard.
“I’m tired baby. I promise once this weekend is done I can lavish you with all the attention you deserve.” I say.
“It’s okay. We had fun this morning.” Peter says rolling off me and kissing my neck and chest and showing no signs of stopping.
“I’m sorry, you turn me on too much. I’ll go shower and let you sleep.” Peter says.
“Is shower code for jerking off? If so please do it here, you know I love to watch you. I won’t fall asleep.” I say, begging him.
I kiss him gently and move his hand to his dick. I have a flash of memory to doing the same to Jay. I put it aside and enjoy Peter having fun.
I kiss him lightly and rub his balls.
“I love your big balls.” I say.
“They love you, full of cum for my sexy man.” Peter says.
I take over stroking his dick and he sighs and we kiss.
He takes himself back in hand then straddles me to come all over me. I giggle and pull him into a deep kiss.
The next morning Peter drops me on campus then goes to collect Mart, John and Blair from the airport.
I meet up with Eric and the playwrights to work through the rest of the notes and make a few tweaks.
“Good review in the school paper.” I say.
“My Mom is starting a scrapbook.” Laughs Eric.
“Not just the school paper, regional papers want to interview us. They’re coming to do pictures of us in an hour.” says Phil.
“Just you guys, right?” I say.
“All 5 of us. It’ll be good for you two too. You deserve the publicity.” Robbie says.
“I’m sorry but I cannot be in any articles or pictures. I’ll go for a walk when they come.” I say.
“Are you sure?” says Phil.
No one asks any more questions, though the atmosphere is tense.
We run through some reworked scenes and then I leave them to it.
I call Peter.
“Unexpected break. Are you around for coffee or something?” I ask.
“Something involving your lips would be good.” Peter says and I grin.
He’s with me within 10 minutes.
“Did everyone get in okay?” I ask.
“Yes, I dropped them at their hotel, they are cleaning up, having lunch then getting a cab over.” Peter says.
“Lunch, can we get lunch?” I ask.
“Of course silly.” Peter says.
We walk hand in hand to our dorm cafeteria and grab some food.
“I’m really excited to see you do your thing tonight” Says Peter.
“Thanks. I’m a bit worried about you all being there but its gone well so far. I’m just going to be shattered at the end but I still have to be perky for the drinks reception and then do brunch tomorrow and Jay and Ben will be there and Ben hates me and I didn’t think anything through, with press and agents being there chances are one will know Blair and might figure out the connection to me and and and.” I run out of steam.
Peter holds me close and rubs my back.
“One thing at a time baby. Today will be fine. The papers are more interested in the writers than the student actors, especially once the prizes are announced. The playbill lists you as a freshman from Seattle and that is it. No one is going to work out who you are from that. I will help you through the reception and brunch, I promise to sparkle and Jay will have to be on top form too as his boss will be there. I’m sure Ben is just insecure as his boyfriend still loves you.” Peter says firmly.
“Jay doesn’t love me. He loves Ben. Ben hates me for being in 3 plays.” I say exasperated.
“Well he’s a dick and it’s just one meal.” Peter says.
Eric calls to say coast is clear and I’m needed. I say goodbye to Peter.
“Please tell me you have therapy booked for next week.” Peter says as we walk out.
“No, I’ll do it soon.” I say.
Peter walks off. I know he’s just worried for me so I let him go.
The rest of the day is a very draining blur. I am never learning 3 parts at once again. Never.
The plays over we wait for the announcements.
Robbie gets the artist in residence and Phil is the runner up getting a good cash prize. All three win various other smaller prizes and Eric and I are awarded the acting prize jointly. I had no idea there was one. The prize includes some money and an introduction to an agent.
I laugh duck down in my seat and let Eric accept on his own.
At the reception after everyone is in a buoyant mood. Blair is delighted with Eric and is happily introducing him to east coast theater agents.
I spend some time with Mart and John and they are so sweet, bringing me flowers and trying to slip me drinks. I leave them talking with Jay, the three are getting on so well. I am sure Jay will be fine this summer.
Later I’m with Blair when Jay brings Ben over to be introduced. Blair is a bit dismissive and asks to be introduced to Phil which I do shooting Jay a sympathetic look.
Eric comes over with a grin.
“The Dean of theater has accepted me as a sophomore. I cannot believe it.” Eric says with a big grin.
Blair is in earshot and gives him a big grin.
“Well done, you’re well on you’re way.” Blair says.
“Congrats Eric, I know you’ll be fine.” I say and pull him into a hug, and whisper in his ear “Though you’ll be seeing a lot of Ben.”
His face falls, then he laughs.
“He will be so annoyed.” Eric laughs.
We head up to our room after saying goodnight to everyone.
I sleep so soundly in Peters arms.
The next day Peter again picks up the 3 LA guys and takes them to the restaurant and I go in a cab with Eric and Brian. Jay and Ben are making their own way. We meet the playwrights in the parking lot, they arrive at the same time as us. We all go in and Jay and Ben are already seated. Peter soon arrives and we begin ordering and chatting.
“A toast to so many prizes we lost count.” Says Mart.
“To prizes” we all shout raising our glasses.
Ben is seriously sulking and winding Jay up with stupid comments about Mart and John.
Jay is talking to John and Phil for a while as John gives advice on places that might put on Phils work and people who might back him. Its pretty fascinating stuff to see John in full networking mode. Blair chips in a few ideas. I can tell he likes the guys a lot and wants to help them get a leg up.
Blair is also asking Robbie about his screenplay and if he’s happy with his agent. I know the guys are going to want an explanation later.
Then I overhear Ben start with the shit again on Jay and its really rough. I can see why no one likes him.
Suddenly Jay stands up.
“I will not have my boyfriend call me a prostitute. These guys are not some old fruits who want in my pants they know everyone in Hollywood they have everyone as clients from porn stars to oscar winners. If you really want a film career stop belittling everyone and start listening. These people could help your career. “ Jay shouts and storms out.
John and Mart fall about laughing, they are not offended at all and are utterly tickled that anyone would think they were after Jay for sex.
I stand to go after Jay as Ben hasn’t.
“That’s right stalker boy go running to him, see if you can win him back when he’s vulnerable.” Ben begins.
“Not content with stealing my parts and my prize but you want to steal my boyfriend too.”
Its Brian that comes to my defense, shocking me.
“Grow up Ben. Alexander is way, way more talented that you are. Did you see him last night, he was astonishing, everyone was talking about him. No one was talking about you. He didn’t steal anything Alexander works for everything. I think you should leave.”
“Yes, go.” says Eric “We are celebrating and you are clearly not in the mood.”
I hurry out to catch Jay before Ben comes out.
“Ben’s leaving, come back inside and finish the meal. After we finish come to the house with me and tell me whats going on. I know you, this isn’t you. You are not a doormat to that kind of guy. I need to know.” I say, holding him close as he sobs on my chest.
He nods and sniffles. We go to the bathroom to wash his face and then back to the meal.
John and Mart soon have Jay smiling again.
“Shame that Ben is so rude, he has some talent, but any connections Jay makes this summer will be of no use now.” says Blair to me.
“He’s an idiot, I’ve no idea what Jay sees in him.” I say.
“Ahh come on he’s a good looking guy with a lot of confidence.” replies Blair.
“So is Jay, well usually.” I say.
The meal sadly comes to a close. I kiss everyone goodbye and hold Peter close before he drives off to the airport.
I get a cab with Jay to the house.
We fix some drinks and sit on the couch.
“Come on Jay whats going on?” I ask and he bursts into sobs.