I’m still not sure if forgiving Peter makes me a schmuck. I know he didn’t intend to hurt me. I know it wasn’t some calculated thing. All I needed to forgive him was for him to admit he was wrong and he did. I know I would have appreciated the same from Jay after he caught me with Blondie and if he had forgiven me at the time I know I would never have done it to him again.
I’m still worried though. I love Peter a lot and I’m pretty sure I love him more than he loves me. But I also know I don’t see us as a forever couple.
The party is still swimming in my head, reconnecting with Jay was wonderful. Seeing Peter so happy after being with Vincent (even if he went way too far for my liking, that black eye really scared me) made me feel good and not jealous. Arrrgh if only things had stopped there.
Still I have a good while to work things out, not that I’ll have that much thinking time. The shoot is longer than last summer and the movie has secured a much better budget so they’ll be making it properly, spending a lot more time on post production and it won’t be going out until next summer. If all goes well that means I can stay being just Alexander for a whole extra year of school.
I’m on the flight to Bucharest with Eric and we’re chatting about the party.
“I asked Bobbie to leave Harry for me and he said no.” Eric says.
“Really. What about Brian?” I ask.
“What I want is my freedom to be with whoever, to explore whatever I can. I’ve not had that experience and I feel confident enough to try. I love Brian but I’m a total coward and I’m going to break up with him by email when we get there.” Eric says.
“Wow, that is pretty shitty. Brian is a good guy. If you knew you were going to do this why not tell him before he decided to move in. Isn’t it going to be awkward when we get back.” I say feeling really annoyed at Eric.
I see the house as a safe place. After the hassle of the dorms I wanted it to be somewhere we could all be comfortable. I knew there would be a risk with me and Peter if we ever split up and when Brian asked to move in too I knew it could be difficult if he and Eric split but I really thought they were strong together until Brian asked to move in.
“I didn’t ask him to move in. It was kind of sprung on me. He was certain he wanted to be in the dorms.” Eric says.
“Yeah I figured that. But if you had just said something he wouldn’t have given up his place in the dorm.” I say.
“I know. It’ll be fine by the time we get back. He’ll have had time to get over and so will I. Its not an easy choice for me either.” Eric says.
I spend the rest of the flight reviewing my script and napping.
The first week was easy, we had a room read and got to know each other and I spent a lot of time with the makeup technicians who were creating my look. I would probably be spending more time with them than anyone else for the next few months.
In the second week filming began, my schedule wasn’t too heavy. I got to know people in the cast and crew better. I was having fun. Eric was on set with me as his scene was being done early on and he was in some of the big group pieces that took up the next week.
After that his filming was done. I emailed him a short list of things I’d need help with and Sal did the same. It really wasn’t much, making sure if I finished late I could still get a hot meal, keeping an eye on my meds and toiletries. I knew a few other things might come up. Its not that I couldn’t do things myself it’s just when you’re on set all day you can’t just go out and get something. And knowing how single minded I can be it helps if someone reminds me to eat and buy toothpaste.
I don’t know why I feel funny about asking him, he agreed to do it. I’m paying him and paying for him to stay in a nice hotel and not in the cheaper accommodation most of the crew are in.
I call Peter whenever I can, sometimes its late at night, sometimes early. We’re back to being strong together, even though we’re thousands of miles apart.
Sometime Jamie and Brian are there too. Last week we had the funniest videochat.
I was telling them how I felt funny about sending Eric lists of tasks.
“I don’t get it, why do you need an assistant? Surely you and Eric have the same sort of part to do.” Brian asks.
“Oh my god.. I fucking forgot to tell you.” I say.
Jamie and Peter are laughing hysterically and Brian is looking even more confused.
“You know we had that dinner to celebrate you getting the internship. I meant to tell you then and I clean forgot. I can’t believe I let you move in without warning you.” I say.
Peter is crying from laughter now. Its really not that funny.
“Warn me about what?” Brian asks.
“I’m the lead in this movie, that’s why I need an assistant, I’ll be really busy as we get further on with it and I’ll need a hand with some day to day stuff. I’m the lead because I used to be a film actor as a kid. I was Sandy Green.” I say.
“Who?” says Brian in typical Brian fashion.
Peter starts listing some of my films and Brian still looks confused until Jamie brings up a particularly embarrassing commercial I did when I was about 6.
“You were that kid?” Brian squeals with laughter and they all sing the song and I almost hang up with the shame of it.
The workload steadily increases, Eric is never around. I take to emailing him but I never hear back and I don’t have time to hunt him down. Everything is getting frustrating for me.
After a crazy long day I call Peter, its the early hours at home and he hasn’t yet left for work.
“Whats up baby?” Peter asks.
I just start crying, everything is feeling too much.
“I’m working all the time, late nights followed by early starts so I have to sleep in the day but then I get schedules for other daytime stuff and I never know when to take my pills or eat as I don’t remember what day it is. Theres loads of waiting round when they set up shots but I can’t eat or sleep in full makeup.+ Its all crazy and I miss you and I don’t have time to see you properly and I shouldn’t waste time moaning.” I sob and sniffle feeling a total pussy moaning to my boyfriend.
“When did you last take your meds? Do you have enough? Are you eating? Are you sleeping at all?” Peter asks.
His concern is making me cry more. I just shrug. I check my bag and see I’ve one pill left which I show him and sniffle more.
“Wait there baby. I’ll call Eric.” Peter says.
I lie on my hotel bed staring at my bed at home, wishing I was there. I really miss Peter and Jay too. I’ve hardly had time to speak to Jay at all. I’m feeling hopelessly sorry for myself. I should be so happy for the opportunity I’m having but I am just too tired and hungry and sad.
“I can’t get hold of Eric. Brian says he is in Germany with Harry and Bobbie, he saw it on facebook. It said he has 5 days off. If he has a 5 days off why don’t you?” Peter says.
“Germany? Oh. I didn’t know. Maybe Sal told him he could go?” I say.
“When are you needed again? Are you going to sleep now?” Peter asks.
“I have 4 hours, I’m hungry.” I say as if I were 5.
“Do you have fruit in the room or a granola bar?” Peter asks.
I shake my head.
“I’ll call room service for when I wake up.” I say.
“Okay you get some sleep and I’ll sort things out. I’ll call you soon okay.” Peter says.
Jay calls me as I get to set. He has sorted everything out for me. He’s amazing.
Things start going better, my work days are still long but I get more sleep and meals are always ready in my room when I get back. Jay also gets fruit and snacks sent to my room at regular intervals so I’ve always something. I’ve always found eating on set difficult and its even harder in this film with my face all contorted I don’t feel I can do more than drink through a straw when in costume.
There is going to be a technical strike and I’m able to go to LA for the time to do some additional vocals that would normally be done later and get some publicity shots done.
I’m excited I’ve plead my case to get an extra day off for travel so I can have a surprise visit to Peter.
Things have been frosty with Eric, I ask him several times about the flights. I know I should have just booked myself but they have to be done through a corporate booking account and I don’t have the details. A few days before we are due to go I get worried. I try and find Eric and I can’t. One of the crew says he has gone to Amsterdam to see a college buddy.
I just about scream in frustration. I call Jay. Of course he books the flights and that is all okay and I tell him I have to fire Eric. I can’t believe he just took off. I’m feeling really taken advantage of.
I email Eric to let him know he’s fired. I speak to Sal and she sorts out stopping his pay for me and I cancel his room at the hotel. I am so, so mad at him.
I finally get to the airport at nearly midnight. I didn’t check a bag. A car service is waiting for me and I’m at the house in no time.
I creep up to my room, Peter is curled up in a ball. I get a tear in my eye just seeing him. I don’t care how gross I am from travel I strip off and get into bed, wrapping myself around him.
“Am I dreaming.” Peter murmers.
“Its really me.” I say kissing his neck and back, running my hands over him checking he’s real.
His mouth and hands are all over me.
“Missed you so much baby.” Peter murmurs to me.
We’re kissing and can’t stop. Its amazing to be in his arms again. I love him so much. We’re so hungry for each other we meld into one, all lips and hands touching and tasting what we’ve been missing.
Peter is stroking us together bringing us closer. I’m grinding into him moaning and whimpering still not sure its real, he’s biting my lips, my neck my shoulder. He’s rubbing our dicks snd moaning.
“Fuuuuuuck I need you.” Peter yells into me.
I move his mouth back to mine. I need to be kissing him, I need to feel his tongue in my mouth. I’m grabbing his head pulling him into me.
Peter brings us to a stunning release together. I’m crying. The tears just won’t stop. I ‘m so relieved to be in my lovers arms. It all feels incredible. It is a dream.
We spend the next day showering,fucking and eating. Peter grabs some supplied and we settle in for a love fest. We barely talk we just let our hands and mouths talk. Its amazing.
Sunday morning I am not ready to leave. We have breakfast with Brian and Jamie and I listen to their summer chatter but don’t take my eyes off Peter. He’s tanned and his hair has grown longer, he is so damn sexy.
At the airport I cry some more. I’m excited to be seeing Jay but wishing that Peter was coming too. I don’t want to stop touching him.
Then I arrive in California and Jay collects me and he’s beautiful too. He’s a lot more serious than before. He takes me to our hotel and we go out to dinner together.
He has a crush on Blair which is sweet but totally misplaced. When he tells me he was attacked I don’t want to ever leave him again. I’m so angry.
He’s with me each day looking out for me, driving me around. He’s amazing. Everyone we run in to says how great he is, how they are going to miss him when he’s in back in school. He has so many job offers for next summer. I’m so happy for him.
I call Peter, happy that its much easier even if we’re still in different time zones.
“Hey baby, hows things?” Peter asks.
“I’m having a good time with Jay but I have bad news. The interview has to happen soon. Like in 2 weeks. I’ll finish filming then come here and shoot it. Will you come out for it?” I explain.
“I think I can. Why is it happening so soon? The movie has been put back to next summer.” Peter asks.
“I know, bigger budget means they can take their time on post production and more money for marketing, summer suits the movie better. But there have been a few articles about me,speculating about my comeback, blurry pictures from set, that are not actually me. They’ve even done age progression pictures. Blair thinks we need to do it now to stop speculation and control my story.” I say.
“Makes sense. Can you he just do that, pitch an interview when the movie is a year away?” Peter asks.
“The soap did as a baby is going on to netflix. So thats the marketing excuse. Its not just Blair now, I’ve hired a publicist this week. As much to control things rather than promote me.” I explain.
“You didn’t tell me, can’t wait to see what you looked like back then.” Peter says.
“Nooooo, I thought the upside to being an orphan was no embarrassing baby pictures.” I say.
“I bet you were adorable.” Peter says,
“After the interview would you like to go away for a week? So we can have proper time together before school starts. The Caribbean or Hawaii or something? Would that mess up your job?” I ask.
“I can finish by then no trouble. A trip sounds amazing. My parents have given me a whopping summer allowance that I haven’t touched yet so I want to pay my own way.” Peter says.
“I know its awkward and I do not want you to feel bad or unequal in any way. You’ve been amazing helping me out when Eric let me down and you were incredible at the start of the year when I lost it. Can I not treat my boyfriend as a thank-you?” I say.
“No. let me contribute, it doesn’t have to be half but a good chunk.” Peter says.
“Okay. I love you.” I say.
“You don’t get round me that easily.” Peter says laughing.
“I can’t wait already a few more days in LA, 2 weeks back in Bucharest then I’m done. Jay will sort your flight for the interview. Then we can go on vacation the next day.” I say.
“How is Jay?” Peter asks.
“Good, he’s doing really well at work. But he was attacked a few weeks ago and he’s not been very social since. He’s made a friend but they stay in playing xbox together.” I say.
“Attacked? Was he hurt?” Peter asks.
“Blair found him and stopped it from going too far. Mart and John are really shaken as it
happened at their house. They’ve been having a lot less events than they usually would since. They feel guilty especially as they didn’t encourage Jay to go to the police.” I explain.
“I’m glad he wasn’t hurt. It sounds scary though, to be attacked at home.” Peter
“Yes. I think he’s handling it okay just being careful. He’s also worried about money which curtails his social life. Would you be okay with it if I didn’t charge him any rent?” I ask.
“Sure. It’s your choice. I didn’t think you were asking him for much though?” Peter asks.
“Well Brian is paying almost the same as you. His family is well off and his parents had a similar reaction to yours. I guess you met them the other week? Between him and you the bills are more than covered. Anything else is just making me money which I feel a bit uncomfortable about. Jamie has agreed a lowish amount that I’m okay with and Eric’s contribution is irrelevant as I’ve paid him more than he would be paying in rent to do fuck all this summer. I still feel really taken advantage of.” I say annoyed.
“I’m mad at him right now too. I guess it will be better for Jay to be seen kicking in for groceries and the like, the other won’t know what he is or isn’t paying for rent.” Peter says.
“Exactly I just want to make sure it was okay with you.” I say.
“That you are so generous to your friends is one of the things I love about you. Jay has been really great this summer I understand you want to help him out.” Peter says.
“Love you, talk soon.” I say.
The next couple of days are busy but I get decent sleep with Jay next to me.
On my last night in LA my emotions start to get in the way and I make a move.
“No. You can t do this I’m not your bit on the side, I’m not a boyfriend substitute You’ve chosen Peter ” Jay says.
“l didn’t choose him over you. you rejected me, you chose to not be with me ” I say
“l did and given how you’re trying it on with me behind your boyfriends back I obviously did the right thing’” Jay says
“I will never get it right with you will I. I’ll never be good enough.” I say full of self pity.
“You were the perfect guy for me but I just couldn’t see it working. It was so hard letting you go. But we both moved on and right now friends are all we can be. You told me after the party you only had friendly feelings for me. Now you show up and are all well maybe we can be more than friends, except only on the side. I am worth more than that. Let me finish getting over you.” Jay says.
I know he’s right. I know I’m messing with his head. I know he deserves better than me. I know I can’t end it with Peter, not yet. I can’t ask Jay to wait around. Why should he, I’ve not shown myself to be good for him.
It’s just the way he’s shown his talents for fixing things this summer. All the good reports I hear from Blair and Sal and John and Mart. How he’s been handling clients as well as mundane office tasks.
This summer Jay has proved he could really fit into my world and be someone. I’m really proud of him. Really, really, proud.
“I’m really proud of you. Everyone is impressed with your work ethic and how smart you are, how charming. If you decide to make your career here I bet you’ll have dozens of job offers. Most of all I’m impressed that you’ve found yourself again. You are the guy I fell for, not the insecure guy who tries to please everyone. You’re really impressive Jay” I say.
“Thank-you. That means a lot. You’re right I have grown up and I am a lot clearer about what I want. I’m a lot stronger. I just turned you down and I’ve been without all summer. I’m crazy horny.” Jay says laughing.
Jay puts his arms round me and reaches up and kisses my mouth sweetly, just a peck.
“Turning you away last winter was the stupidest thing I ever did. I will regret it forever. But I’m not going to steal you from Peter. I’m not going to break you two up. You have a good thing together. He is good for you. Remember that.” Jay says.
“I know. You did me a favor even though it hurt so, so much. Though I’ll always think what might have been, if I’d not been so horny I turned to Peter.” I say.
“It wasn’t that. I mean it was, I was horrified you would be with Peter after how he treated me but I was pretty sure we wouldn’t work before I found that out.” Jay says.
“Really, what was it then?” I ask.
“Seeing you at the film screening, you going into Sandy mode. Talking business with Blair. The hotel room. I always saw you as my future husband but it hit me that that is all I would be. I’d be Sandy Green’s husband and never Jay, we’d always live where you needed to. Everything would be on your schedule, bought with your money and I realized I didn’t want that life. It might have been crazy, we might have only lasted a few months.” Jay says.
That is a lot to take in. Its crazy, he’s just articulated so many of the worries I think Peter might have about our relationship. Shit.
“And here you are, making a name for yourself in my world.” I say.
“Here I am. I would never have taken this opportunity if you had been my boyfriend. So I guess things have worked out for both of us. You’re going to be a star again and have Peter and I might just have the start of a career I love. Though I think I’ll be in mart’s world not Blairs.” Jay says.
We hug briefly and I fall into a very restless sleep, thinking about everything, my feelings for Peter, my feelings for Jay that keep pushing back through.
I spend the whole flight thinking about it.
Then I snap into work mode. I spend every break on set looking at vacation options. Finally picking a beautiful resort in St Lucia.
And then filming is done and I’m headed back to LA. Its been a crazy summer.
I arrive and check in to a hotel at the airport and crash out.
“Welcome Sandy.” Aileen says.
”Thank you for having me.” Alexander replies.
“It’s very exciting for us that you are on our show for your first interview in 5 years. You’ve been in hiding what made you return to the spotlight?” Aileen asks.
“I took time off to go to highschool. Last summer the opportunity came up to work on a movie and that lead to the opportunity to lead the sequel. I’d have loved to stay in hiding but well it’s just not possible in the world of smartphones.” Alexander says.
“Well we are glad you are here. Mary’s Market the show that gave you your start is going to be available for streaming on Netflix shortly. You were just a baby on that show do you have any memories of it?” Aileen asks.
“Not too many. It was unusual for the part to not be played by twins but the baby was mostly kept hidden and apparently I was a good baby. I did two and a half years on the show, but I don’t have any clear memories of it, just some of the set fabric, the journey to the sound stage” says Alexander
“From then you moved on to commercials and Broadway and then you made quite the leap to movies, taking on a lot of emotional roles for a young boy.” Aileen.
“I worked almost non-stop as a kid or it felt like it at the time. I probably cried as much off set wanting to go and play as I did on screen. My Mom was great at making me understand that a movie isn’t real, somehow she worked out how to make me understand that without stopping me from giving realistic performances. My Mom was incredible.” Alexander says.
“You’ve promised us you’ll be very open today. Nothing is off limits.” Aileen.
“well, not quite nothing.” Alexander says.
“Quite but you have agreed to talk about your mother for the first time. You say she was incredible but it wasn’t always smooth sailing was it. Those off set tears you mention were sometimes huge fights with your Mom.” says Aileen.
“My Mom went from being an accidental Momager to Hollywood producer on major budget movies. When I look back at what she accomplished I am nothing but proud of her. Yes at times I was a brat and I took it out on her. Every kid does that. I loved my Mom and I’m at peace with our relationship, she gave me so many opportunities.” Alexander says.
“And then she was murdered. Are you able to talk about that day?” Aileen asks.
“Sure. I was working on a movie with Jane St Jane directing, it was the second movie she had directed that I was in. Jane was my Moms best friend; she had been an assistant director on Mary’s Market so I had known her my whole life.
That day there had been an electrical problem so we finished early as the set was seen as unsafe.
Mom and I went with Jane to her house. They were in the kitchen having coffee like normal friends. I was in the dining room playing with Jane’s teapots.
I was twelve and very young for my age, I had never been to school, the only kids I knew were ones I acted with. Jane had this collection of teapots in all weird shapes, a wedge of cheese, Garfield, a giraffe. I loved them and always played with them when I visited.
I went to the kitchen to get a coke. I didn’t go because I heard anything worrying or because I had a bad feeling. I was just thirsty. The second I stepped in the door Jane was shot in the head, before I or Mom could react Mom was shot too. I ran out the room. I was so scared.
I called 911 from a phone in the hallway. The operator asked me to check the bodies to see if they were alive. I have no idea why, 5 years later it still seems like the most dangerous advice, maybe they thought I was making it up.
They were both dead I didn’t need to go into the room to know, it
was graphically obvious.
I expect you’ve heard me having hysterics on the phone and seen the pictures of me covered in blood.” Alexander says with no emotion.
Filming halts while makeup reapplied to a teary Aileen.
“So your Mom and Jane were just friends?” Aileen asks, trying to compose herself.
“Yes, great friends but nothing more despite what the magazines reported. They were not caught in bed, they were not in the bedroom at all. My Mom and Dad were very much together.” Alexander says.
“Grant St Jane was later convicted of shooting them with a sniper. You went straight back to work, with your Dad taking over as your manager.” Aileen says.
“Yes I had to keep working or be sued for breach of contract. Jane was replaced by the assistant and we were back at work two weeks later After a week we were already being pressured to go back. I worked on completing my film commitments and took on a couple more. I was offered the role in a teen tv show and I told my Dad no. I wanted a normal high school experience, I needed a break.
We moved away from California and I went to high school. My Dad went back to writing and we took our time to finally grieve.” Alexander says.
“Is your Dad back as your Manager guiding your career?” Aileen asks.
“No, I lost Dad to cancer two years ago.” Alexander says.
Aileen is lost for words and filming halts again.
“So you’re 19 and all alone in the world. Is there a special lady by your side helping you through?” Aileen asks.
“I’m gay, no women in my life other than my agent’s wonderful assistant Sal. I have a great boyfriend who is my rock and good friends at school who are like my family now. I’m very lucky.” Alexander says.
“Wow you are full of the surprises tonight.” Aileen says.
“I’ve not had the most straightforward life.” Alexander says.
“But you’re still here. You’re working on a sequel to January’s box office Zombie hit.” Aileen says.
“Yes I spent the summer filming in Romania it’s into post production now. It’s going to be a great movie. It was hard work being the lead as an adult, I’ve learned so much. We had a great cast and crew. I can’t wait for you all to see it.” Alexander says.
“And we can watch the original online now?” Aileen asks.
“Yes the first film is available to download now. It was so much fun. We didn’t know how comic is was going to be during filming, the final product was a big surprise.” Alexander says.
“A good surprise and a big box office hit. And no one knew it was Sandy Green on set?” Aileen says.
“No I used the name Sasha Jade. I thought I would stay anonymous as I was so unrecognizable in my costume and makeup.” Alexander says.
“But people worked it out, you’re back to being Sandy Green.” Aileen says.
“Yes I’ll continue to work as Sandy Green.” Alexander says.
“And what is next?” Aileen asks.
“Well I’m back at school in 2 weeks and have no firm work plans. A few scripts I’m looking at, a few projects nothing firm yet.” Alexander says.
“Are you worried the work will dry up by the time you graduate?” Aileen asks.
“I don’t care. I know that’s not a very Hollywood ambition answer. I love to act but I’m not going to give up my education, l really love to learn. If I can fit in a move or 2 over the summer I will. If when I finish I’m no longer wanted as an actor well I’ll have other options. Maybe I’ll write, maybe I’ll teach who knows.” Alexander says
“That’s very level headed ” Aileen says.
“I have to be With no parental guidance it is hard, really hard to make these choices. I think about what my parents would want, education was important to them and I like to think they’d be proud of my choices ” Alexander says.
“I’m sure they are. Thanks so much for coming in and being so open with us. Sandy Green everyone.” Aileen closes the show.
After the interview I’m kind of out of it. I walk back to the green room and just concentrate on breathing. I’ve never talked about my Mom, not since the police interview. I never spoke to Dad or my therapist about it. I’m exhausted and also relieved.
Blair starts talking at me but I don’t hear what he’s saying.
“Where are Peter and Jay? I need Peter and Jay.” I say suddenly finding that my mouth still works.
“Sal is fetching them. Don’t worry about anything, your publicist will handle everything. We’ll talk when you get back.” Blair says.
I’m soon in Peter’s arms and Jay is holding me too.
I’m still pretty dazed when we get to the hotel. I don’t really remember the ride at all.
When we get there I look at my men and I just feel a lot of love. They both love me and I need them.
I really need them.
Peter kisses me first and Jay massages my back, then Jay kisses me so sweetly, so gently. They undress me and themselves and lie us down on the bed. We’re all kissing and touching.
Jay is gently moaning as he kisses my chest. Peter is more aggressive biting me and I look down at them both and feel amazing.
Jay moves to rim me, he lifts me onto his face and his tongue,fuck his tongue feels amazing. He is not holding back at all. Wow, he licks and probes, teasing me,sending me wild. Wow its amazing.
I’m trying to concentrate on sucking Peter but I keep needing to cry out.
I lie on my side and lift my leg to let Peter in. Jay just watches as we begin to fuck. It feels good to have Peter inside me.
I reach out for Jay, I need his kisses. He wipes his mouth and gives me what I need. We’re kissing deeply, I’m holding his face and he is touching my chest, lightly rubbing me. Its amazing, so gentle in front a good pounding behind.
Peter rolls me to my back and continues his deep assault on my ass.
I can’t stop kissing Jay and I jerk us both.
I’m feeling amazing, I’m feeling everything. Nothing is bad when I’m with them both. I wish it was always the three of us.
I watch as Peter hits the edge, he pulls out to spray me like a fountain, 10 good thick jets land on me, joining my own and jay’s spunk. I’m exhausted and covered in cum.
We squeeze into the shower together and wash each other gently.
I awake a few minutes before my alarm.
I wake jay gently.
“Was last night okay? It didn’t mess with your head?” I whisper.
“It was beautiful, I’m fine, I only kissed you really.” Jay giggles.
“Very sexy kisses. Thank-you so much. I wish you were coming with us.” I say.
“You need some Peter time. You’ll have a great time. Go have fun.” Jay says.
The alarm goes and Peter and I head off as jay falls back to sleep.