I look at my boyfriend kissing my boyfriend and I feel happy. Like everything fits. I try to push away all the doubts and questions and enjoy watching the two men I love so much being so affectionate with each other.
They pull apart and grin at me. We are all still fully dressed, we made this decision just a couple of hours ago and I still can’t believe it is real.
“Stop worrying. Yes we are sure.” Peter says reading my mind.
I kiss them both gently and quickly.
“How was your Dad?” I ask Peter, breaking the mood a little.
“Not in. Mom said she’ll try and get him to call me later. She’s proud of me though, she said she often wished Dad had stood up for her more against his parents early in their relationship. She is sure he’ll calm down and thinks he over reacted because he is working on a business deal with Aaron’s Dad.” Peter says.
“That was nice of your Mom and I do really appreciate what you did, for me and for you. I hope your Dad calls you. I really like him. I was shocked when he went off like that. He’d been so happy with you all weekend.” I say.
Jay snuggles Peter and Peter smiles and nuzzles back. Maybe I’m not the only one who has been hiding feelings for Jay.
“You two look so cute. I’m so lucky.” I say.
Peter pulls me in to his arms and I kiss him and then Jay. We continue sharing kisses between us. I sit up again just watching Peter and Jay make out. Watching them I remember the first time Jay kissed me. He was the first man I was with who really, really loved kissing.
“You okay?” Peter asks.
“I love watching you, you’re both so hot and together it’s just incredible.” I say.
Jay looks up at me, so cute, his shorts tented, his lips swollen and his hair all messy. Perfect. I feel so emotional. I knew one day Jay and I would be together again but I didn’t think it would be now and I never imagined I’d be able to keep Peter too.
Jay tugs me down and I lie behind him as he carries on making out with Peter. I run my hands all over his body, feeling his skinny frame under his tshirt, gently rubbing at his cock through his shorts. He makes the cutest sounds.
Then Peter’s phone rings interrupting us.
It’s his Mom again so he heads off to take it.
“I love you Jay, I’m so happy I don’t have to squash my feelings down any more.” I say.
“I love you too. I love you, love you, love you. Feels amazing being able to say it as boyfriends.” Jay says.
I kiss him slowly, deeply and melt into him. Home.
“Ugh I best put the laundry in the drier.” I say pulling myself away. Not trusting myself to wait for Peter to return before making love to Jay.
“I’m going to shower, I’m all sweaty.” Jay says grinning.
I head downstairs, Peter is sat on Jay’s old bed still on the phone. He looks angry and I’m worried about him. Worried about all of us if Aaron is really coming back next semester when I’m away. I thought he was going to go to a local college, He must have ground his Dad down somehow.
After laundry I carry on with the domestic chores and eventually head back upstairs.
Peter and Jay are making out naked. I stop in the doorway and watch them. So hot my boys enjoying each other. I grab some books and my laptop and leave them to it, they’ve some catching up to do.
I get on with some work, we don’t have much yet but I can make a start on expected reading. I am so fucking dull. I wonder about doing something for Jamie’s 21st which is in a month. I message him to see how his date is going. He sends back thumbs up.
I look at venues even though I know it would be at the house, and caterers and DJs. This is Jay’s fault I’m using Jamie’s birthday as an excuse to wedding plan.
That night Jay and Peter are worn out. I sleep with one on each shoulder, I feel a bit over heated but I love it.
Tuesdays I have an early start so I leave the guys in bed. I also finish at 2 which is nice. I head over to the school paper for my interview. I’m kind of nervous I guess they already have an opinion of me and I don’t know how friendly or hostile that will be.
It’s not too bad, the girl is really gushy and really just wants to hear about celebrities, given I don’t know any she’s pretty disappointed.
As I’m leaving a guy with a purple hair stops me. He is camp as camp can be.
“Hi I’m Barley, president of campus LGBTQ. I’d really like it if you could come and talk at one of our meetings. Given you’re the most prominent gay guy on campus.” Barley says.
“Barley?” I ask.
“Uh yeah, my real name not by choice. We’d actually like to make it more of an event, hear your coming out story, have a q&a in one of the theatres so more people can attend.” Barley continues.
“Um. I guess so. But I’m really not that interesting. I’m just a student the same as anyone else, only with less social media and less of a social life.” I say.
“That is exactly the type of thing we want to hear. Look the way you just came out with no fuss during your TV interview was amazing. I was really impressed, you didn’t have to do it, especially given the other material you gave them.” Barley says.
“Ah I had nothing to hide, much easier to do things on my terms than have to confess after someone takes a picture of me kissing a man.” I say.
“You’re a pda fan? You seem so private.” Barley says.
“I hold hands with my boyfriend and of course I kiss him hello and goodbye, just like anyone else. I’m not one for huge displays no.” I say.
“You are so cool.” Barley says.
“I’m just a regular guy. If you tone down the flattery and treat me as anyone else then yes I’ll do the event. I imagine it will be a good fundraiser for you. I’ll need free tickets for my friends.” I say laughing.
“Not a problem. Thank you. Thanks so much.” Barley says.
“Uh do you know the girl I just did the interview with?” I ask.
I point her out.
“Yes sure.” Barley says.
“Do you have any sway on what she writes?” I ask.
“Not really.” Barley says.
“Could you collaborate with her? Look basically she was all starry eyed and I don’t think she took on board my concerns of privacy and students selling lies about me to make money. Is there anything you can do?” I plead. I’ve just met this guy, and I somehow trust him already.
“How about I pitch a companion piece on that, the downside to being a campus celebrity?” Barley suggests.
“Perfect. Do you have time now?” I ask.
“Absolutely. Let me ask the editor quickly, how about we meet downstairs for coffee. Mines a skinny latte.” Barley says.
“Sure, see you in a few minutes.” I say and head downstairs to the coffee place.
I’m just sitting down with the drinks when Barley arrives.
“Perfect timing.” I say.
Barley puts his phone on the table to record the conversation.
“Hope there’s not too much excess noise in here.” I say.
“It’ll be fine. So what did you need to get off your chest?” Barley says.
“After the interview there were several untrue stories, off the record they were mostly amusing. On the record they were weird. One student claimed to be my boyfriend, I’m taking legal advice on that one. We have a mutual ex and have spoken twice, both times he was incredibly rude too. Other stories were about my behaviour in class, that I think I’m a big shot, mostly from people I never heard of and certainly wasn’t in class with. So I’m really wary of making new friends in class.” I say.
“Wow. Were there any true stories?” Barley asks.
“Not many. I was impressed none of my real friends sold anything, well as far as I know, they could have I suppose. Last year I was in a lot of study groups and they really helped us do well in class and I’m reluctant to join any now.” I say.
“Are you a good student?” Barley asks.
“Everyone who got in here on academic merit is a good student. I’m not wasting this chance, I study hard.” I say.
“Did you get in on merit? Did you use a acting story as an essay or anything?” Barley asks.
“No, I wrote about my Dad. No one in admissions knew who I was to my knowledge.” I say.
“Cool. So you really are just one of us.” Barley says.
“Yeah, a nerd who studies hard, nothing unusual. I was lucky getting in being so ordinary.” I say.
“What about other downsides?” Barley asks.
“I have a boyfriend right now so it’s not an issue but now I’m out as Sandy hooking up will be an issue, just the same as study partners, who do I trust and how much can I open up?” I say.
“Sure, we all have that issue. Closeted kids worry about their parents finding out or classmates even.” Barley says.
“Exactly, the sports kids especially worry about being outed. I don’t worry about that more that my dick will be plastered online or someone will sell a critique of my performance. Or something more sinister. But it affects my friends too, a good friend’s boyfriend sold a story about us recently. So now my friends have to be sure that potential partners are genuine and not after access to my house.” I say.
“Ah shit that sucks. I best be careful now.” Barley says.
“Last year the thing I was most scared of was being outed as Sandy. I hid the truth from all my friends and I had a hard time knowing when was too late or too soon to tell them. That was the worst thing. Now I know who my genuine friends are I’m less worried about everything else.” I say.
“So you were in the wrong closet.” Barley says.
“You’re really funny. I’m glad you approached me.” I say.
“Even though I was only after a favour?” Barley says.
“You were upfront about it and are doing me one in return. You’ll be the host at the event?” I ask.
“Sure. Let’s swap details and I’ll be in touch about dates and publicity.” Barley says.
“Sure. Thanks for your help. Please be nice about me.” I say.
We say our goodbyes. I find my bike and head home.
The house is empty. I start looking at clubs to join. I’m tired of being a nerd hermit I need to get something else out of college.
Peter messages me to say he and Jay are going out together on a date. I’m glad they are making an effort to work on their relationship outside the bedroom.
On Friday the articles come out in the school paper alongside a big ad for the talk I’m giving.
Over dinner the guys tease me about it a bit.
“Since when were you doing big gay events though? Why didn’t you tell me?” Peter asks.
“I guess I forgot, you went out Tuesday so we didn’t talk and you’ve been working and stuff.” I say.
“I’m not paying $15 to hear you yammer though.” Peter laughs.
“You all get free tickets. Part of the deal.” I say.
“Okay then.” Peter says a little coldly.
We’ve hardly seen each other since we became a trio and I miss him desperately.
After dinner we’re loading the dishwasher and I pull Peter into a hug and start kissing him.
“I’ve missed you.” I say.
“I see you every night.” Peter says.
“I still need your kisses.” I say.
He kisses me sweetly. Then both our phones ring.
It’s Barley for me asking if I’ve read the articles.
“Yeah, thanks so much for yours it was really helpful.” I say.
“No problem, anything for the big gay on campus. The event is mostly sold out. I reserved tickets for your friends. I’ll get them to you when they’re printed.” Barley says.
“Nearly sold out? That was fast and very scary.” I say.
“We actually reserved most of them for the various LGBTQ groups in the city and schools. So only a few are left. More might go back on sale later.” Barley explains.
“Okay that isn’t so bad.” I say
We finish the call and I go and find Peter and Jay.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“My Dad finally called. He’s calmed down now but is pressuring me to get in touch with Aaron. I just don’t get it. Mom has no idea either.” Peter says looking down.
I sit next to him and gives him a hug.
“I’m sorry baby.” I say, kissing him.
Jay is kissing his neck the other side.
“Want to come work out?” I ask.
“Nah. I’m going to get some homework done.” Peter says.
I head downstairs anyway and start my workout. It feels good. Brian joins me and we work pretty well together.
Eric is home. He has got through the initial audition to be a Gogo dancer and is doing a trial shift tomorrow. He wants to show us all his planned outfits and moves.
We open a few drinks left from the party and have a laugh together. We all agree to go to the club the next night to support him.
I’m in a really good, slightly tipsy, very horny mood when we head up to bed. I’ve not had any action since we started the arrangement.
Jay is in the shower so I make a move on Peter. We kiss for a few minutes.
“Hey now I’ve done this for you maybe you can do something for me?” Peter says wiggling his eyebrows.
“What do you want baby?” I ask.
“I don’t want to have to go outside anymore. Bring Jay in has focused things for me and I think we should try something, nothing extreme.” Peter says.
“Okay. You know I won’t be able to punch you in the face or bruise your ribs though right?” I say.
“Yeah, I know you’ll have limitations but I figure we can explore together. Just us.” Peter says.
“Why don’t you send me some videos or stories of scenes that work for you, that you think I’ll be able to manage?” I say.
“I love you. I love you so much.” Peter says.
“I love you too. Can I show you how much?” I ask as I run my hands over Peter’s ass.
“Sorry, Jay and I already did while you were working out. I was upset about my Dad and he wanted to make me feel better.” Peter says.
“Okay, I need to get in quicker. You guys have done a lot this week. I’ve hardly seen either of you.” I say.
“Don’t worry. I’ve not forgotten you baby. We’ve just been bonding, trying to catch you up.” Peter says holding me tight.
Saturday night everyone we knew was at the house to have a few drinks before heading to the club to see Eric dance. Our usual crowd was supplemented by my attempted hook-ups Grey and Marc, Barley and his boyfriend Patrick and Robbie and Dan the playwrights who had again sorted out our alcohol.
Eric had gone ahead to the club as he had to be there for a briefing. They were running a competition between the dancers and there would be some sort of vote. I planned to stuff Eric’s socks with as many bills as I could. I’d been to the bank and got out loads of 5s, Jay and Peter had a stack each too.
I was excited. A bit apprehensive after the photos at the restaurant and mall but I’ve decided that is something I have to live with. If too many lies are printed I’ll sue. Otherwise as long as I don’t respond and behave myself I can’t see pictures being worth much.
We get to the club and the line is pretty long.
“Go see if you can get us in.” Barley says to me.
“What?” I ask.
“Come on you’re a celebrity.” Barley says.
I laugh as do Peter and Jamie.
“Yeah he’s right come on.” Felix says grabbing my arm.
He pushes me under the doormans nose.
“How many of you?” The doorman asks.
“About 15.” I stammer.
“Okay, one moment.” The doorman says, he turns and talks into his radio.
Another guy comes to the door.
“Sandy, you should have let us know you were coming. We have a lovely table for you in VIP. Come on in.” The host says.
We were not expecting this. We thought we were going to an overgrown bar, not anywhere too fancy but it has been totally transformed. The host leads us up a spiral staircase to a area with a single large table with a sofa circling three quarters of it. It is amazing.
We all squish to fit in, it just about holds all of us. Gives us a great view of the club and some privacy for me.
“Your private bathroom is through there.” The host says pointing to a door behind us. “Put these wristbands on, there is security at the bottom of the stairs you’ll need these to get back up.”
“Wow this is amazing, we didn’t expect this. Thank-you.” I say slipping the host some cash.
“We are delighted to have you here, we will take care of your tab tonight. Is there anything else we can do for you?” The host asks.
“We’re fine. Thank-you so much.” I say.
We cannot believe our luck. It’s going to be a really fun night.
“Want to go dance?” I ask Jay and Peter.
“Maybe later.” Says Jay.
“You go. We’ll find you later, you’ll be easy to see from up here.” Peter says.
“Come on, please.” I say.
“Go dance with Harry and Bobbie.” Jay says motioning to the guys who are heading down the stairs.
“No, I’ll go later when you’re ready.” I say unable to hide my disappointment.
“Seriously go. We don’t mind.” Peter says.
“I see that I’m not wanted.” I spit and head off.
I catch up with Harry and Bobbie, Dan and Robbie and start to dance. Keeping an eye out for Eric. He’s soon out at a spot on the bar. He looks amazing, he’s wearing bright orange sneakers and briefs, white knee socks with 2 orange stripes at the top. He looks really cute, his body is great, especially his thighs and he is already getting some attention.
I head over to him and tuck some bills into his socks. He shakes his ass in gratitude and carries on. He’s doing great. So happy and confident.
I can’t see any of the guys so I head back upstairs. Barley and his boyfriend Patrick are the only ones there. We try and chat a little but it’s too loud really. I scan the floor for Peter and Jay but can’t see them. I spot Jamie and Felix though so decide to go join them. As I’m at the top of the stairs Jay and Peter come out the bathroom.
I ignore it and carry on to the dance floor.
I shake off my insecurities, find my friends and dance, the club is tightly packed so I don’t worry about being recognized and just enjoy myself.
We head upstairs for a break before the dancer competition starts.
Peter squeezes in next to me and puts his arm around me.
“Jay’s been feeling down because Ben is here, in the competition.” Peter says in my ear.
“Why does that mean you don’t want me around?” I ask.
“He’s feeling awkward because of the stories Ben sold to the press, feels like that was his fault.” Peter says.
I nod and shrug. Feeling bad that I was so moody but also that Jay isn’t turning to me for comfort.
I nuzzle into Peters neck and steal a quick kiss.
An announcer comes out and the music is turned down, the dancers are all lined up along the bar, there are about 10 of them. Eric is the only small guy and being a redhead has such a distinctive look that I think he’ll do well.
The crowd are appreciative of all the guys but Eric and a tall black muscular guy clearly get the loudest cheers. Or maybe it seems like Eric does as our balcony section goes nuts for him.
Four guys are announced as having jobs including Eric and Ben. We go nuts at the announcement. Its crazy.
The four guys stay on the bar for one more dance and then the regular guys take over.
I head down to let the security guy know to let Eric up. We are all patting him on the pack and congratulating him. He sits down and guzzles a lot of water, absolutely beaming, bright red and totally lost for words.
“Thanks so much for coming everyone. You guys were so loud it was crazy.” Eric says grinning.
We all head back to the dancefloor for the last hour. It’s getting pretty crazy with a lot of sex going on around the edges of the club. I wish I could be a part of it.
We head home in high spirits, most the guys come back to the house and we stay up drinking and talking about the night and make Eric shake his ass over and over.
As the sun comes up we head to bed, guys are sleeping all over. I’m really happy that everyone is comfortable in my home.