Alexander in the open 12 – Confused Alexander

I’m happy to be back living at home. I don’t like sleeping alone in my giant bed though.

On Sunday I text Paul to see how his date went. He’s quick to reply.

“Great sex but no future. Busy Tuesday?”

“Free from 2.” I reply, eager to see him again.

“My place at 4?” Paul asks.

“Sounds great.” I reply delighted. Paul is hot and straightforward.

“Horny now?” He replies surprising me.

“A little.” I reply.

“Jerk off together?” He replies.

Well I’ve no better offer and I’d love to see how he pleasures himself. Guys jerking themselves is still one of my biggest turn ons. Especially hot guys like Paul.

I head up to my room and reply positively.

I set up my tablet and play with the angle and chair height. I head to the bathroom to find lube, all supplies got cleared away for the decorators.

Paul is messaging me when I walk back in and we start our fun.

He’s just in his boxers, his skin is glistening.

“You look really good, really hot.” I say.

“You too. I can’t get your big cock out of my mind.” Paul says playing with himself inside his baggy boxers.

“Your ass haunts my dreams and I wish I was sucking those nips right now, sucking, biting, nibbling them, watching you wriggle.” I say.

“Fuck I like you. Flex a bit. Yeah that’s good.” Paul mutters and pulls off his shorts.

I stand up to remove my underwear and start showing off my dick.

Paul surprises me a little by fingering himself and then starts to use a small dildo whilst he jerks. He’s sat on the edge of his bed, knees drawn up to his pits.

“You look so hot.” I say really enjoying him.

He just grins and goes back to being lost in his enjoyment.

I’m moaning lightly and Peter walks in.

“Shit sorry.” He says and watches a little too long before backing away.

I’m not embarrassed, I’m even more turned on.

A moment later he’s back, he closes the door and unbuttons his jeans, I try not to turn round and just concentrate on Paul.

I can hear Peter jerking off but I stay facing forward ignoring him. Man it turns me on to be watched, watched from both sides. I lean back and cover myself in cum. Paul grins and is not far behind.

“Thanks man that was super-hot.” Paul says when his breathing returns to normal.

“Super-hot, see you Tuesday?” I ask.

“Yeah, fuck yeah.” Paul says and shuts off the call.

I turn round and look at Peter, he looks at me pleading. I gesture him over and he’s next to me in a flash. He swipes some cum from my chest and uses it as extra lube, he looks so vulnerable standing in front of me.

He cums quickly into his hand. I’m a little disappointed its not all over me. I stand up and kiss him.

“Bit of a naughty interruption.” I say.

“I tried to be quiet. You looked so hot. I’m sorry.” Peter says looking down.

“It was hot, really hot.” I say.

He’s grinning, grabs his ruined underwear from his back pocket and uses them to wipe me clean before heading into my bathroom to clean himself.

I pull on some shorts and when Peter comes back though I look at him and sigh.

“I really liked what you did. I’m not complaining it was hot but you need to let me go. You need to let me have new opportunities without you.” I say.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just love it when you’re happy and I couldn’t leave you alone. I feel so stupid, I’ve wasted so much time making you so miserable.” Peter says.

“I want you in my life Peter, I really do, but maybe back off for a bit. Please.” I say.

“Okay. I will do what you need, I want you to be happy.” Peter says and hugs me close.

“I actually came in to see if you wanted to study. If you had time to do some project work?” Peter says.

“Sure that would be good. Let’s do it at the table downstairs though.” I say.

“Okay.” Peter says and we do.

We get a fair bit done and as we’re finishing Jamie comes in and asks if we can go grocery shopping.

“Sure, now?” I ask.

“Yeah I’ll just go ask the others what they need.” Jamie says.

“Last week was a total disaster.” Peter says.

“Why?” I ask.

“We did an online order for delivery because you had the car and we did the order with mostly generic stuff as you weren’t here to pay the difference. And Brian wanted to get some extra stuff for when Blondie stays which was fine as he was paying for it and Eric wanted extra fruit which he paid for. But Jay was not happy with his share of the cost, complaining about the choices compared to what we usually have. He just didn’t get that you usually pay the difference and buy all the cleaning stuff and condiments and laundry detergent and whatever. He was just going mad complaining you said that this place wouldn’t cost more than being in the dorms. I tried pointing out that most the dorm food was generic and that he isn’t even paying rent. It was a bit embarrassing. I mean Brian, Jamie and I managed a pretty tight budget this summer and it was straightforward and we ate well.” Peter says.

“Was he just going off at you or at everyone?” I ask.

“Everyone. Jamie was super mad at him for it. I think the others thought he was paying the same rent as Eric and Jamie and while they are not unhappy with what they pay they are feeling unhappy that he isn’t paying and is still complaining.” Peter says.

“Well I can’t start charging him rent now. It still annoys me that I ended up buying his plane ticket the other week. He made good money this summer. Mart and John are covering the gap in his tuition so he needed no loans this year, I think they are giving him money for books and stuff too. He’s not short. It’s weird he just doesn’t want to pay his way anymore. He wasn’t like this before. He always didn’t do things rather than have someone else pay.” I say.

“Yeah, I didn’t know about Mart and John giving him an allowance. And he hasn’t paid you back for his flight yet? Do you want me to talk to him?” Peter asks.

“No I’ll do it when we get back.” I say.

Jamie comes back in.

“Here’s Eric and Brian’s share. Jay hasn’t got any cash, said Peter would pay his share.” Jamie says.

“Give me a minute, I am coming with you I just need to talk to Jay a minute.” Peter says.

“Is Jay giving you shit?” I ask.

“Yeah. We’ve not been close since he and Felix split but we got on okay. He’s being annoying. I know Brian and Eric didn’t want to live with him but I thought he’d be easy going. Then again Eric was a pain when we were moving in and I was worried but he’s settled in really well.” Jamie says.

“It’s so weird. I never thought he’d screw me over again after last New Year but as soon as I let him get close he shits on me. I’m having a really hard time with him being here.” I admit.

“Yeah. I didn’t know he wasn’t paying rent. It’s your business and I’m not suggesting I shouldn’t pay but he is fucking annoying being so cheap when he has the lowest outgoings of all of us.” Jamie says.

Peter runs down the stairs.

“Let’s go. Jay is out of the share, Eric is in.” Peter says handing me more cash.

“Eric is in?” I ask.

“Yes he’ll do Wednesdays if we can juggle it. Has asked that we just leave his share of a meal in the fridge for him when he has work or late rehearsal. Says he can’t afford to lose any more weight so needs to eat better.” Peter says.

“Is Jay mad at you?” I ask.

“Best we don’t talk about Jay.” Peter says and we head off shopping.

While waiting at the register to pay Peter slips his arms round my waist, hugging me from behind and kisses my cheek. I turn to get a kiss. Jamie just looks at us.

“Are you two back on?” Jamie asks.

“No but we may be having a period of regression.” I say with a grin.

“I like you two together. I don’t know why you changed things. I hope you work it out.” Jamie says.

I don’t get a chance to talk to Jay that day. No, truthfully I can’t be bothered to take the time. It’s unfortunate that the rest of the house is bonding against him, leaving Peter in the middle. Given we just broke up I don’t feel like I’m the right person to talk to him but know I have to.

On Tuesday I head home straight from class to get ready to meet up with Paul. I take my time choosing my clothes and underwear. I realise how much better care I’m taking of how I dress now. I’m getting better and better mentally. I feel good.

I drive back to school and am able to park near Paul’s dorm. He greets me with a kiss and we head inside.

“Sunday was so hot, especially when your ex started watching. He’s got a great cock like you.” Paul says.

“You could see him? I think he thought he was out of sight.” I say.

“He was in and out but it was nice. Of course nicer to see the close-up of you.” Paul says.

“You looked so hot with your knees up high. I can’t wait to push your feet and fill you deep.” I say.

“You are so hot, come here.” Paul says pulling me onto the bed.

Our second session is better than the first, we’re more comfortable together and Paul communicates so well he’s easy to please. We get pretty athletic, lots of position changes, not my usual style at all but it is great fun and I shoot like a firework.

“That was so much fun. Thanks Paul.” I say still breathing hard.

“Fuck you are good. You’ve spoiled me with that nice cock, I love your curve.” Paul says running his finger over my dick gently.

“Your ass is perfect, you take me so well. I hope we can do this again. It’s my friends 21st party this weekend. You should stop by Saturday night.” I say.

“I have a game but I’d like to come by after, I might be late.” Paul says.

“That is fine, it’ll be going all weekend, nothing too wild.” I say.

I dress and head home feeling really, really great.

When I get in Jay is sat in the kitchen on his laptop.

“Hey Jay, have you got a minute?” I ask.

“Remembered I exist?” Jay says.

“What is wrong with you? Why are you bitching at everyone?” I ask.

“They’ve all taken your side. Brian and Eric aren’t talking to me at all. Jamie only to ask me for money and even Peter is mad at me.” Jay says.

“If you act like a shit no one will like you.” I say.

“I’ve not done anything wrong. You ended it with me. That was your choice I didn’t do anything wrong.” Jay says.

“You’re delusional. You entered into a 3 way relationship with me and Peter and used it to break us up. It was nasty. Really underhand. Everyone saw it, they do think you did something wrong and on top of that they’ve found out you don’t pay rent and yet you’re are being overly cheap with them. Why should they be friendly to you?” I say.

“I didn’t join you and Peter to break you up. You just couldn’t handle that he liked me better. That wasn’t my fault.” Jay says.

“So why did you lie to Peter, telling him we were having sex?” I ask.

“I didn’t. I never actually we were.” Jay says.

“You’re awful. You are really awful. I hate that I have inflicted you on everyone. I should have listened to Eric and not let you move in.” I say.

“You loved me a couple of weeks ago. I’ve not changed.” Jay says.

“But I have. I’m not blind to your manipulation any more. You’ve screwed me, over and over and I’ve always come back begging you to take me back. Thinking your promise of forever was real and achievable. But you never wanted me back, you didn’t want me forever or even for right now. You wanted to hurt me.” I say.

“I never set out to hurt you. You always make such a big deal of things. You’re just too much work. Peter is easier and being with you both that became clear so I took him for myself.” Jay says.

“You still owe me money for your flight to see Marlon.  I need it by the end of the week.” I say coldly.

“Need is a bit strong.” Jay says.

“You know I have an allowance, paying for 2 weeks in a hotel and your flight has left me short. I subsidise your life enough. If you don’t start getting along with the others you should seriously start looking for somewhere else to live next semester.” I say.

“You are pathetic. You can transfer more money from your savings at any time. I could have stayed home but you wanted time with Peter, I was doing you a favour by going. A millionaire taking money from someone who has none is just low. You treat me like a prostitute.” Jay complains.

“Fucks sake. I’m done. I’m doing you favor after favor and you’re just rude. You live here rent free, don’t contribute to bills, I get you a well-paid summer job and organise somewhere to live in LA, again for free. I even bought you the clothes you’re wearing and you repay me by stealing my boyfriend. You owe me money, pay it back by the end of the week or find somewhere else to live.” I say losing my cool.

I walk off frustrated, change and hit the gym. But I’m utterly useless working out. My session with Paul and fight with Jay have zapped my energy. Peter and Brian come down and join me. I basically just watch.

When Brian hits the shower I approach Peter for some comfort.

“What happened to backing off? I’m not your plaything you can pick up whenever.” Peter says laughing.

“Just a little kiss?” I beg.

He holds me and kisses me hard.

“I fought with Jay, I’m sorry.” I say.

“He told me. Please don’t tell me about it.” Peter says.

“Okay, I don’t want to put you in the middle.” I say.

“But I have one question, he said you threatened to throw him out. Were you for real?” Peter asks

“Yes I told him he has to pay me back for his flight or find somewhere else to live. Everyone is fed up with him right now and I think if he left it would be a happier house.” I say.

“So it was a warning to shape up?” Peter asks.

I shrug.

“I wouldn’t actually throw him out with no notice but he doesn’t pay rent, he’s essentially a guest. And if he continues to be so shitty, so vile to me than he has to go.” I say.

Peter looks worried, I hold him close and kiss him.

Brian walks in in a towel.

“Woah did not expect to see that. No, I didn’t see a thing.” Brian says and winks.

Peter and I jump apart.

“I’m not hungry I’m going to get an early night.” I say and head up to my empty room.

I shower for ages rethinking Jay’s words. I hate him so much. I think about moving into the apartment so I don’t have to see him. But I really don’t want to isolate myself again. I can’t throw him out but he can’t be a dick. Have I really just been buying him all this time? No, we were friends, lovers before he knew who I was. I’ll never understand him, a few weeks ago we were so close, he was so nice letting me talk about my issues and I thought I was supportive about Mike. I need to talk to him again when I’m calmer.

Eventually my head clears enough and I sleep. At some time in the night Peter climbs in and snuggles in front of me. I throw my arm over him and he pulls it tight with both hands. I move my leg over his and we sleep together close as can be.

I love sleeping close, wrapped up with someone. I don’t need my space to sleep, I don’t worry about being too hot or getting sweaty I love the skin on skin contact. It always makes me feel safe and wanted.

My alarm wakes me too soon. Peter stirs and looks at me confused.

“I guess you got in the wrong bed, I held on because I didn’t want you to go.” I say unwrapping from him.

“Thanks.  I love sleep time cuddles. You made me feel all better. I best go though.” Peter says sadly.

I guess he had a fight with Jay. Ugh I need to stop this. I want him so much.

Still I watch him walk down the stairs, as he does Eric comes out of his room. He looks at us and shakes his head.

I work hard at school, have a study group and stay even later in the library, trying to get ahead given we’re partying all weekend. I double check the menu with the caterers and what time they are coming on Friday.

At home I give Jamie money and the car keys so he can do the booze run with Felix tomorrow. I grab dinner from the fridge and warm up mine and Eric’s he arrives just as its ready.

“What was this morning about? Is Peter playing around on Jay?” Eric asks.

“He just came in in the night. Nothing happened we just slept.” I say.

“Nothing happened last night but what about Friday?” Eric asks.

I blush and stay quiet.

“You have to accept they are together. You have to let them have their shot.” Eric says.

“It’s up to Peter whether he plays around or not.” I say grumpily.

“You dumped them, they are staying together. Face up to it he’s not coming back to you.” Eric says.

“I know. If he really, really wanted me back he wouldn’t be with Jay. He’s much harder to let go of than I thought. I thought I was over it but being round him every day is really hard.” I say.

“It wasn’t just Jay who treated you badly. Peter was shit to you too. You deserve better.” Eric says.

“Thanks. I know. It’s really hard to walk away. Arrrgh I hate this time. I want a boyfriend but I’m really not in the right headspace to start anything but I hate having an empty bed so I didn’t turn Peter away.” I say.

“I’ll sleep with you for a week or two.” Eric says.

“You don’t have to. But when you don’t have someone in yours that would be great. I promise not to cry all night this time.” I say.

So that night Eric stays with me. When Peter comes in around 2 Eric tells him to go.

“Thanks for last night.” I say when Eric gets up early.

“No problem. I didn’t realise he would just come in like that.” Eric says.

“What do you think it means?” I ask.

“He’s an idiot. Why would you want someone who cheats like that?” Eric asks.

“I know, I know. I need to do better.” I say.

“Exactly.” Eric says then heads off.

Grabbing lunch Peter comes in.

“Are you and Eric?” Peter asks.

“Friends without benefits absolutely. He’s just helping me resist you.” I say.

“But I thought we were going to keep doing stuff. You’re so hot and cold.” Peter says.

“Consider me cold right now. I love you being in my bed but it isn’t right. Maybe even being friends is too much right now. I should never have had you stay over on Friday.” I say.

“But I love you and I can’t cope with not even being friends. You are too important to me.” Peter says.

“We just need to give it some time. I’m not saying we won’t ever be friends. I want to be but we just keep blurring things and its holding me back. We’re still study partners at least.” I say.

“Okay.” Peter says.

“I’m sorry for running hot and cold. I have been leading you on when I shouldn’t.” I say.

“Its okay. We were both in the wrong. I just miss you. I know, I know it’s my own fault you told me you missed me for weeks and I didn’t do anything about it, I totally understand what you meant now.” Peter says.

“Thanks.” I say and head off to school.

On Thursday evening I get home and Peter and Jay are making out on the couch.

I run to the bathroom and throw up. Seeing them together hits me harder than I imagined it could. The pain is immense. I sit on the floor rocking for a few minutes before rinsing my mouth and heading upstairs.

I should have enforced the rules. I can’t, I just can’t be around them together.

I go over to the garage apartment. The guys moved out in the week. Its empty. Its space.

Back in my room I again pack up a bag of clothes, toiletries, my school things and gadgets and dig out the air mattress and a blanket. I’ll need to do 2 trips. When I get the second lot I lock my bedroom door and put the key in my pocket. I don’t want anyone using my room.

I settle in the best I can and order some essentials online. Drive to a furniture place and order a bed. Nothing like my beautiful custom made one, but it will do. I pay for the express option but it’ll still be 2 weeks.

I look round my new home and cry. I thought I was stronger than this but I’m not. I want Peter so much and unless I put a physical barrier up I won’t be able to resist him. I must move on, a few weeks and I’m out of here.

Give it to me

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