My flight back to school is delayed and delayed. I eventually arrive after midnight and get a cab back. I’d not told Jay I was coming back today. I wanted to surprise him and I was hoping he wasn’t worried that I’d not called him tonight.
The house is silent when I get there. I drag my bags up to my room and Jay is asleep. I get a sudden flash of Peter in my head. I’m on edge about seeing him again, as we parted on such bad terms and I’ve publically declared I’m with Jay without telling him. I hope I haven’t lost him as a friend and it won’t be awkward living together.
I get my head back and kiss Jay.
“Hey honey.” I say.
“You’re really home?” Jay asks and tugs me on top of him.
“I’ve missed you so much. Let me go shower and brush my teeth then I’m all yours.” I say.
“No, more kisses now.” Jay says pushing his mouth to mine.
“I’m all gross from the flight.” I say half-heartedly.
“I like it.” Jay says pulling at my clothes.
I strip off quickly and get back into bed. Jay is all over me, kissing me everywhere.
“You pleased I’m home?” I ask.
“Missed you sooooo much. I’m going to kiss you all night.” Jay says.
“I like that idea.” I say.
Jay continues kissing me, licking me, he is in charge not letting me move out from underneath him. I love it. He continues for hours and we eventually sleep a little.
I feel like shit the next morning, but I smile at the sleepy Jay on my chest. It’s Monday and I have a 9am class, this is not good. I drive in to school to buy some extra time.
I walk in to class and it’s pretty empty, I guess everyone has trouble. Morning classes are killer, I’ve done the reading but it’s still hard to drop in this late, especially as I’m tired and jetlagged.
At lunch I meet up with Jay. I kiss him hello, he’s looking so cute, finally something good in my day.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before but Peter moved out.” Jay says.
“When?” I ask.
“Before I got back. He told Harry he had another place off campus with some friends.” Jay says.
“I guess I don’t need to worry about it being awkward with us together now. Have you spoken to him?” I ask.
“No, I’ve not seen him at all, neither have the others. Brian speaks to him but not often, and I don’t see much of Brian. I’ve been a bit of a hermit with you away.” Jay says.
“I thought you’d make the most of your time to see people before I got back.” I say.
“It’s been a bit difficult. It seems Max has a lot of female fans and they all hate me for stopping him being with you. It has been a bit crazy.” Jay says.
“Why didn’t you tell me? That’s mental. Have you spoken to anyone?” I ask.
“Actually Barley and Patrick have been great. I’ve seen them a couple of times for lunch.” Jay says.
“You shouldn’t hide stuff from me. Just because I wasn’t here doesn’t mean I couldn’t have supported you. I want to be there for you, always.” I say
“I just didn’t want to stress you out. Plus we’re really new.” Jay says.
“I love you, having an issue won’t scare me off. Speaking of love, Valentines tomorrow, I booked Mamma Cats but we can stay home if you prefer.” I say.
“Out sounds good, Mamma C would scare off anyone who tries to bother us” Jay says.
“Exactly. See you later, wish we had more time now.” I say sneaking a few kisses before heading back to more torture.
I’m a total zombie all afternoon, I should have stayed in bed. I finally get to my last class of the day. To my surprise, given it’s a history class Peter is there. He looks amazing. I don’t know if he’s in better shape or I’ve just missed seeing him. I go and sit next to him.
I don’t say anything, I feel kind of shy. I don’t know if I should apologize or wait for him to make the first move. He shifts slightly closer to me, which I take as a sign he’s not mad at me. Before I can speak the class begins.
It’s hard to concentrate, I am just so aware of Peter. I’ve done most the reading for the class and got the notes online but I’m still a bit at sea. Even if I’d been to every class I doubt I’d be following. We both shift closer together our legs fully touching. He bounces his a little to rub against mine. I move my arm against his brushing his hand slightly before pulling away. Too soon the class is over.
Peter dashes away before I can speak to him.
I head sadly to the car and wait for Jay.
“It’s going to be a bit quiet with just 4 of us at home.” I say, deciding not to mention having a class with Peter.
“Yeah but nice that it’s 2 couples. Harry and Eric have moved into the big room. Hope that’s okay.” Jay says.
“Of course it is. Are you fully in with me or keeping a room?” I ask.
“Fulltime with you. We were thinking, could we turn Jamies room into a study? We could fit 3 desks in if we took the bed out.” Jay asks.
“Sounds good.” I say as we pull up at home.
“I’ll make dinner, I bet you want to study.” Jay says.
“You’re the best. Love you.” I say kissing him.
He gives me the sweetest smile and hug.
I sit at the table and work watching him prep. Eric and Harry come in.
“Hey surprised you’re home Eric.” I say.
“Monday is quiet for me, plus I missed auditions so I’m not working on so many things this semester. It’s good.” Eric says.
“I submitted 2 pieces for the play festival. Want to act them for me, one monologue, one 2 hander with me?” I ask.
“Do you have time for that?” Jay asks.
“Not really but I need to do something creative. I don’t even know if the pieces will be accepted for another week or so.” I say.
“I would love to do it. I’m trying out for some others too. Talking of auditions, I can’t come on spring break. I’ll be heading to summer stock auditions. I spoke with Blair and he agreed it was the best choice for me this summer to try and get some regional work.” Eric says.
“No problem, I knew you wanted to. What about you Harry?” I ask.
“I’ll probably tag along with Eric. I’m sorry.” Harry says.
“I doubt Peter will go now. Is anyone still in touch with Marc and Grey?” I ask.
Everyone shakes their heads.
“I’ll talk to Barley and see what he and Patrick want to do. I’d rather go somewhere just us.” I say to Jay.
“There’s Felix and Jamie too.” Jay says.
“You don’t fancy a full week of Felix?” Harry jokes.
“It would be fine in a big group but not just a few couples. If Jay still wants to do it I’ll ask Barley if he has friends who want to come. I guess we can ask Bobbie too if you guys are not coming. Would Marlon want to come?” I ask.
“Marlon has a different week to us.” Jay says.
We eat dinner together and I clean up. I’m still feeling rough. So I tell Jay I’m going for a nap.
I unpack my bags and put everything away. Jay comes up just as I’m finishing.
“Do you really not want to do spring break?” Jay asks.
“I never did. I was just going along for you guys. I’d rather take you away somewhere more private.” I say.
“Like you and Peter did this summer?” Jay asks.
“Yeah, not the same place but something like that. What do you want?” I ask.
“I want to do the big college spring break experience, I want to do cheesy stuff, sunbathe and drink too much.” Jay says.
“Okay. We’ll find some people. It’ll be okay.” I say.
“Thanks. We have forever to go away just us.” Jay says.
“I know. Here, boyfriend gifts. We didn’t really celebrate your birthday over break.” I say.
“Thanks.” Jay says smiling and kissing me.
He unwraps some clothes, underwear and a new bag to replace the one he sold, though to be fair not half as expensive.
“I love it all. Thanks. I love you.” Jay says and jumps on me.
“Love you too. I’m sorry I’m a grump tonight, I’m not feeling too good.” I say.
“It’s okay, we have a date tomorrow and we’re back sharing a bed. I’m happy.” Jay says.
“Good. I want you to be happy. But I know we won’t both be all the time and that’s okay too, as long as we talk.” I say.
Jay smiles and gives me a big hug and heads back downstairs. I head to the shower and take my time, letting the water remove my tension. I hate this spring break idea. It was okay when it was all of us going but the idea of sharing with people I don’t really know and the whole enforced jollity sets my teeth on edge.
I get into bed and expect to pass out straight away, but my thoughts are still keeping me awake. Not just spring break, Peter leaving, I really can’t get my head round him not being here. I know it’ better for him. I hated being here when he was with Jay.
I knew seeing Peter again would set my head in a spin. I fell for Jay again in LA, I don’t know what it is about seeing him working that makes me so hot for him. Now we’re back here I’m less sure of the decision. I guess we have bad memories here which make me second guess things. I want to make it work, I’m going to try my best. I do love him and I am attracted to him massively. He always makes me smile.
But something isn’t quite there. I’m not sure he trusts me yet. Maybe he’s right not to. I hope it all works out. I hope I’m not leading him on.
I’m still awake when Jay comes to bed.
“Come here honey.” I say.
“You are meant to be sleeping” Jay says lying beside me.
“Can’t sleep without you, need bedtime kisses” I say playfully kissing all over his face.
“Let me wash up, I’ll be right there.” Jay says.
Of course I finally fall asleep when he’s in the bathroom.
In the morning I have a later start than Jay. I follow him to the shower and suck him good.
“That was great.” Jay says grinning as we dry off.
“You’re amazing honey.” I say and kiss him a little more.
“You driving me to school?” Jay asks.
“Yeah, I can go to the library and try and get caught up a little more.” I say.
“My sexy nerd.” Jay says kissing me.
He stands up to show off his new underwear.
“You look super-hot. Happy Valentines Honey.” I say and hand him a box.
“More gifts? Wow.” Jay says kissing my cheek.
He opens the box which contains some earrings.
“I love them. I’ll wear them later.” Jay says and hugs me tight.
“I didn’t forget you.” Jay says handing me a gift bag.
“Wow, thanks honey.” I say. I open it and it’s a money clip and a guidebook for Europe.
“For your trip this summer.” Jay says.
“Thanks it’s great.” I say and kiss him quickly.
“Let’s go I don’t want to be late.” Jay says.
“Do you have the other car keys?” I ask.
“No Peter must still have them.” Jay says.
I drop Jay off and head to the library. Most my courses I’ve been able to follow from online notes and I’ve been able to submit work online but I’m not totally up to date, studying between takes wasn’t always totally productive.
Before my first class I pop to see Prof.
“Welcome home Sandy.” Prof says.
“Hey, did you have nice holidays?” I ask.
“It was very peaceful. Thanks for sending your submissions over. I think you’ll be accepted no problem but they both need work. I can’t give you notes but if you work on them with someone else I’m sure you’ll get there. The 2 hander is quite exciting.” Prof says.
“Thanks, Eric is going to work with me again. I just hope we have time to get them right. I hate not being on top of my classes.” I say.
“You’ve not had all your classes yet. You’re not taking anything hard this semester and with your work ethic you’ll be up to date in no time. Now tell me all about your movie.” Prof says.
So we chat for a while. I give him the gossip on Max and the people I worked with. I reluctantly head off to classes.
After class I wait for Jay and we head home to change.
“You look super sexy. Maybe we should stay home.” I say.
As usual we’re given a warm welcome at Mamma Cats. It is busy given the day but service is great and we have a pretty quiet table. When Jay leaves for the bathroom Mamma Cat comes over to talk for a minute.
“No more Peter? Back to that one?” She asks.
“Yes Peter and I broke up a few months ago. I’m back with Jay.” I say.
“You look healthy but tired. I like you better with Peter, he’s the right one for you.” Mamma Cat says.
“But I’m not the right one for him.” I say quietly.
“He loves you, not like this one.” Mamma Cat says.
“Jay loves me and I love him. Stop worrying about me.” I say.
Jay arrives back at the table so we just make a little small talk about how busy it is and school.
At home later I feel a bit weird. Like the shine was taken off the evening. I’m with Jay and I’m going to make it work.
“Did you speak to Barley?” I ask.
“Yeah, he thinks anyone now would have trouble getting flights. It’s only a month away. They are asking around if anyone has too many to a room or anything and want to share.” Jay says.
“I’m all screwed up on time, coming back to school late.” I say.
“Yeah but we have flights for the original group. I did call Grey and he and Marc are booked as are Felix and Jamie. You just need to check with Peter, really we’re only a couple of guys short which means we can space out more.” Jay says.
“Okay. That doesn’t sound so bad. Grey is okay about spending time with Felix and Jamie?” I ask.
“Yeah he has someone new, so does Marc. Oh.” Jay says and laughs.
“I’ll tell Barley we’re all set and I’ll talk to Peter, I need to get the keys from him anyway.” I say.
“Now I want to unwrap my other present.” Jay says.
“Oh yeah?” I ask.
“It’s a very big, blonde. Come on lets go have fun.” Jay says.