Alexander is white as a sheet for the whole flight. He sent off multiple angry emails before takeoff and is now gripping the armrest so tight his knuckles are white, I swear he had veins throbbing in his forehead. He is beyond angry and so far unable to see the funny side.
I know better than to try and calm him down right now, especially as he is angry on my behalf as usual. Gwen will be lucky to live tonight if she’s behind the twitter account. I don’t dare tell him about the cringy snapchat I’ve found. God knows what else is out there.
We finally land and as we’re waiting for our bags I hug Alexander from behind.
“I have a plan baby.” I whisper in his ear.
“I do too.” Alexander grunts back.
“Mine doesn’t involve murdering Gwen.” I say.
Alexander finally cracks a smile.
“Mart is dealing with her. My contract for the movie explicitly stated no social media promotion under my name as does my contract with Sal. I really wish Sal would let me use my previous PR firm, they were great, after the Max thing they really got me.” Alexander says.
“Why can’t you use them?” I ask.
“Sal doesn’t like that they’re one of Blair’s’ go to firms.” Alexander says.
“Fuck Sal you pay for it.” I say.
“I know, that’s what I was mailing on the plane. The movie team don’t have the time to deal with me, given how big a success it is and I understand. I can’t manage alone and Gwen is clearly not the answer, fuck I’d have been better off getting Jay to do it.” Alexander says.
“No then you’d be in a worse mess and we’d probably be broken up by some scheme and you’d be having a mental breakdown. You got Jay fired, he’s back working for Blair like his shit don’t stink.” I say a little bitter.
“Would you consider it?” Alexander asks.
“Consider Jay, no fucking way.” I say.
“No, doing the job? It would help me so much, make me feel much safer.” Alexander asks.
“No.” I say calmly.
“Sorry to ask.” Alexander says quietly.
“It is okay to ask and it is okay for me to say no. Neither of us needs to be offended.” I say.
“You are so right. I’m happy you have the confidence to say no.” Alexander says.
“And I’m glad you’re not offended. We are getting somewhere.” I say kissing his neck.
I grab out bags and we exit to find a driver waiting for us.
We are just getting ready for dinner when Eric calls.
“Hey man how are you?” I ask.
“Jet lagged as fuck. What room you in?” Eric asks.
“You’re here? Want to join us for dinner?” I ask.
“Yes and yes although Blair and Baz are joining us too. Alexander are you okay with Blair being there?” Eric asks.
“Yes. I really am.” Alexander says smiling.
“See you downstairs soon.” I say.
“Yup, dress smarter.” Eric says.
“We will try. I’m so glad you’re here.” Alexander says laughing.
“Who is Baz?” I ask.
“The director.” Alexander says laughing.
“Can I tell you my plan before we go downstairs?” I ask.
“Sure. Though I might get in a bad mood again with you reminding me.” Alexander says.
“Do what you did over Max. Release a video saying the pictures are fake, we can show neither of us have any tattoos on our backs and say you have no social media accounts. Eric can film it and get it out there.” I say.
“Gwen will go nuts.” Alexander laughs.
“Is she fired yet? Or are you going to hear her out, what if it isn’t her?” I ask.
“I’ll hear her out. I want to talk to Blair tonight, see what he suggests. I’ll run your idea too.” Alexander says.
“Wow you’ll hear someone out.” I laugh.
“I know, I’m changing. You are the best influence on me.” Alexander says kissing me.
“I hope she’s not around at dinner.” I say.
“She won’t be, her flight isn’t until much later.” Alexander says.
“Good.” I say.
We go downstairs and Eric is waiting with the other guys. I don’t really understand why Blair is here but I hope he’ll be able to talk to Alexander.
We get a cab to a restaurant and I generally keep quiet, feeling out of place despite being there with Eric and Alexander. As this trip goes on I am less worried about the impression I make.
“So Blair why are you over here?” Alexander asks.
“Baz here has a project slated for next year and I’m hoping I can influence him to use Eric again. Also Max is filming on the lot you guys used and I need to catch up with him, Eric is going to fit in a couple of days filming over there too. Lots of people here this summer and less competition for dinner.” Blair laughs.
“Ah Blair you didn’t have to come all this way to remind me who Eric is, I think we’ve all seen his dance moves. I saw a screening last week, you both did a great job.” Baz says to Alexander and Eric who smile and say thanks.
“Did you quit your job?” I ask Eric.
“No they agreed to let me have a week off for this and Blair has got me another couple of days near school later this summer. Gives me more to talk to the kids about.” Eric says.
“You’re lucky. I’d love to have some real work to break up this treadmill.” Alexander says.
“Regretting your choice?” Blair asks.
“Yes.” Alexander says simply.
“You can always come back.” Blair says.
“Not while Jay is working for you. He is why I don’t have any work.” Alexander says.
“Rubbish, Sal is why you have no work. If you were turning down jobs I knew you’d love I’d have checked in and told you why I thought you should take them. Sal forgot she has to do the agent calls not the assistant ones.” Blair says.
“I made the wrong move for sure. Still I’ve been talking to some London agents and producers and directors and making my own connections for the future.” Alexander says.
“I’m glad to hear it. It was in the plan, you know that. Now you have no work and no plan and no protection from fake photographs.” Blair says laughing.
“I do not understand how they made it into print, my 3 year old makes better collages.” Baz says.
“Exactly, you’d have thought they’d airbrush off the tattoos at least.” Eric says.
“So you all saw them?” Alexander asks.
“Yes. Is Mart on the case? Imagine Peter will have a real chance of winning as a private person. You’ve not done anything public have you? Not even meet and greet at the screenings?” Blair asks me.
“No I didn’t do the red carpet and the punch video was taken inside the hotel. I don’t do anything on purpose.” I say sadly.
“We were thinking of responding the way I did to your Max plot.” Alexander says.
“Great idea but just you. Keep Peter off camera even for that. I am sorry about the Max thing, everyone thought you were in the loop.” Blair says we now he’s lying but appreciate the extra apology.
The rest of the evenings talk returns to the film and general industry gossip about who is doing what.
We go back to the hotel for drinks. I stay pretty quiet.
“I’m turning in, see you all for the panel tomorrow. Good to see you all again.” Baz says heading to his room.
“Look I know I got it wrong with Max and that you’re uncomfortable with how much the agency is growing but I’m still taking care of my clients and all my agents are great at their jobs. We would have found you opportunities to fit your schedule. Now you have the comedy coming then nothing for a year or so. The amount this film has grossed will get you seen for a good while but you need more if you expect to pick up a career after graduation.” Blair says.
“I know, I know. But I can do something next summer, I told you I’m talking to people.” Alexander says.
“And I’m just saying you have a lot on your plate without having to be your own agent, I could get you where you want to be. Think about it.” Blair says.
“So how’s the summer been Eric?” I ask.
“Great, I love my job. If acting doesn’t work out I will look into teaching of some sort. I’m going to be teaching a couple of kids dance classes next semester for one of the other instructors at camp. I’m dancing in the club again one night a week. I’ve this job here which is cool. My Mom’s business isn’t doing so well so all these jobs help.” Eric says.
“I’m sorry about your Mom is it really bad?” Alexander asks.
“Pretty bad, things were going great then she lost 2 accounts and I think she’s a bit tired of it. She’s had an offer to sell, not a big offer but she’s considering it.” Eric says.
“Do you think she’d consider doing PR and press? She’d be a great manager.” I say.
“Oh my god she would be great at all of that.” Alexander says.
“She would. Blair is on at me to get a manager as well as him but I’m not earning enough yet. Mom is more used to the travel industry but she’s pushy and organized. If you are serious I’ll talk to her. It wouldn’t happen in time for this summer though.” Eric says.
“I wouldn’t want her to give up her business for me. But If she thinks she could manage both the PR and management side I’d be her client in a heartbeat and would help with some startup money.” Alexander says.
“I’ll float the idea.” Eric says.
“Has it been all work and no play?” I ask.
“Yes. No sex. You two need to help me out.” Eric laughs.
“I thought you and Brian would be fucking.” Alexander says.
“No. I thought maybe we would too in a friends with benefits way, but he and Jamie have that covered.” Eric says.
“Jamie is fucking Brian? No way.” I say
“No they’re not fucking, Felix wouldn’t go for that, just jerking off together. They are practically married though, cook together, bike together, they are very well suited. Jamie would have to admit he likes men and not just Felix though and he is scared.” Eric says.
“Other than the jerking off that sounds like how the three of us spent most of last summer. We did loads of things together and were pretty close.” I say.
“That is what Brian says but he isn’t interested in any sex with me even when Felix is in town. I think those 2 will get it together properly before long. I don’t see Jamie going back to Felix full time anyway.” Eric says.
“I am not living with Felix if they split up. He’ll have to stay in the apartment alone. So you’re on the prowl wile here?” I ask.
“I dunno. I’m having Alexander syndrome, ever since the film trailer came out with me dancing I get recognized and worry about people being genuine.” Eric sighs.
“Want to come help us make this video then?” I ask.
“Yes of course. Let’s get a bottle or 2 for the room.” Eric says and we buy a couple more bottles of wine from the bar and head upstairs.
“I think Eric should scrub your back to show there’s no makeup covering up a tattoo.” I say.
“And you should totally show your cock.” Eric laughs.
“Shut up Eric. You that desperate?” I ask laughing.
Eric just rolls his eyes and drinks some more.
I’d be happy to have Eric in our bed but I really want some proper alone time with Alexander. I’d love to watch Eric ride Alexander, I don’t think they’ve ever actually fucked. Still Eric being here would stop me confessing to Alexander tonight.
I snap myself back to reality and get to work. Sooner we’re done, sooner I can get Alexander to myself.
Alexander is pretty funny doing a spot the difference between the real him and the fake naked him. He also manages to be charming when saying all accounts pretending to be him are fake.
Eric and I spend some time editing it all and eventually get it ready to go. Alexander has fallen asleep on the bed.
“You two doing okay now?” Eric asks.
“Not really no. We had a few days apart in London and this whole publicity tour is really hard for me I’m lonely and now with this photo thing it’s too much.” I admit.
“Shit is it that bad?” Eric asks.
“Yeah for me it is. I love Alexander more than anything but he is not an easy guy to date. I’ve been through a lot this year and I can’t cope with his shit on top. I’m just exhausted.” I say.
“Have you told him? He’d probably be okay with you going home if you’re unhappy.” Eric says.
“No me wanting to go home is what pushed us apart before. I don’t think he gets how close to the edge I am. The thing with Aaron was exhausting I was constantly on edge worried about setting Aaron off, worried you guys would find out, worried about the video getting out then these fucking pictures have fucked up my career anyway.” I say.
“Surely not. Anyone can see they are fake.” Eric says.
“Yeah but they will still come up anytime someone searches for me. It’s not like the pictures in the park or us in a restaurant where they don’t use my full name. These do.” I say.
“But is it such a big deal, I can’t see it hurting your applications.” Eric says.
“But what if I need to do some research somewhere that is not gay friendly, I might not get a visa.” I say.
“You’ll be okay, you can’t worry about what might not happen.” Eric says.
“Thanks for the help. Let’s wake him up and show him the finished job.” I say.
“Are you sure?” Eric asks.
“Wake up lazy.” I say nudging and kissing Alexander.
“All done? You two are wonderful.” Alexander says sleepily kissing me back.
“Here you go.” Eric says showing Alexander what he’s done.
“You two are amazing. Thanks so much. I love you guys.” Alexander says kissing me and then Eric.
Eric kisses him back passionately. I grin. I’d love to see those two fuck.
“We have to send it out.” Eric says pulling back.
“I’ll do it. You two get naked.” I say giving my consent.
I sit at the desk sending the link to our friends and to the gossip sites.
Eric heads to the bathroom and Alexander comes up behind me and kisses my neck.
“Is this okay?” Alexander asks.
“I think you two will be hot. I’d love to see it. But only if you want to do it, don’t do it because I’d like to see it.” I say.
“You don’t want to join in?” Alexander asks.
“No, is that okay?” I ask.
“Only if you are certain. I really, really don’t want you to be unhappy about this.” Alexander says.
“I had my fun in London, it’s your turn.” I say.
“Thanks baby. It’s not that I want him more than you.” Alexander says.
“But you want a change. I’m a bit boring.” I say.
“No, baby no. I am always hot for you.” Alexander says.
“I know, I love it, I love you. Seriously I’m happy about this, I will enjoy watching a lot. You enjoyed watching me and Tom didn’t you?” I ask.
“It was so hot. Okay. Thanks, I think Eric is really thirsty.” Alexander says.
“I am, it’s true. I really appreciate this guys.” Eric says with a big grin.
Eric and Alexander start kissing and undressing while I finish off sending the video out.
They really are hot together. Eric is very enthusiastic. I lie next to them lightly kissing and touching Alexander as Eric rides him. Listening to Eric moan gets me excited, he really likes my man’s dick. Alexander is pushing up hard into Eric who is crying out in delight. He lies panting on top of Alexander when they’re done.
“That was incredible. Thanks Peter for lending him out.” Eric says.
“Oh I think he had fun too.” I say laughing.
“I’m going to leave you two alone.” Eric says slipping out of bed.
“Way to make me feel like a slut.” Alexander says.
“Sorry, it’s not like your big bed at home and I need to get some sleep.” Eric says.
“It’s okay. See you in the morning.” I say.
Alexander turns to me and cuddles me close.
“You okay?” Alexander asks.
“Yeah it was hot. Did you like it?” I ask.
“It was good but not like being with you.” Alexander says.
I don’t sleep. I’m running everything over and over in my head. I feel guilty about what I did earlier and unhappy with my whole situation. This trip was supposed to be a break but it is just more stress. Would I worry about Alexander even more if I was at home?
Alexander’s alarm goes off, I’m still awake worrying. When Alexander makes a move I just can’t, I’m still wound up and feeling guilty that I haven’t told him about Tom yet.
“Come on baby, we’ve got time for a little fun.” Alexander says.
“No.” I say grumpily.
“Baby, please. I need you.” Alexander coos snuggling back up to me.
“Just sort yourself out. I’m not in the mood, we can go one morning without.” I say.
“Is this about last night, come on yesterday was stressful, you need to have some fun.” Alexander says.
“This is not about last night. Please stop pushing me. I don’t want to start the day with a fight and I’m really close to blowing up right now.” I say through clenched teeth.
“Okay. I’m sorry. Shall I order you some breakfast?” Alexander asks.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“I am meeting Gwen.” Alexander says.
“Okay. I need to sleep so no I don’t want anything.” I say.
Alexander bends and kisses my cheek and rubs my arm.
“I love you baby.” Alexander says as he heads to shower.
Shit I need to get it together. I could lose him. I deserve to lose him.
I get out of bed and get into the shower with Alexander. His broad smile kills me and I start to cry. I lean against his chest and start sobbing. Alexander wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.
I slow down and stand up and kiss Alexander, he kisses me back fiercely.
We get out the shower and get ready for the day.
“I’ll eat with Eric.” I say hoping my friend will be downstairs.
“Okay baby. I’m sure he can suggest places for you to visit, he saw a lot more than I did when he was here.” Alexander says as we head downstairs.
“Be careful baby.” I say and kiss him quickly before he walks over to Gwen.
In the restaurant Eric is sat with Blair and waves me over.
“You look like shit.” Eric says.
“I didn’t sleep. Alexander thought you could suggest places for me to visit today.” I say.
“If you’re at a loose end come out with me, I’ve hired a car. I was due to have a lunch with Max but that is put off until later. We can get out and explore some castles.” Blair says.
“That would be great. Thank-you.” I say.
Alexander comes over looking despondent.
“So it was her?” I ask.
“Yeah she thought when I saw the fan reaction and interaction possibilities I would change my mind.” Alexander says.
“Why aren’t you using your usual guys? Is it my fault?” Blair asks.
“Yes and no. I was mad after the Max thing but we got over it. Sal prefers not to use your preferred firms. It is frustrating as they are all relationships Sal built up. It’s like she’s throwing away all the good stuff.” Alexander says.
“I spoke to my Mom and she’s researching it all now like crazy, she’s actually already sold her company. She was telling me she might to get me used to the idea I guess, she was waiting to tell me in person. She’s just finishing off a couple of projects and will think about it. She’s not sure if it’s feasible.” Eric says.
“I’d throw some work her way and you two would be a good start. Tell her to call me next week.” Blair says.
“Did you eat?” I ask Alexander out of habit.
“No, I’ll get something to go now, I promise.” Alexander says.
“Will Gwen be sticking around?” I ask.
“Today but she won’t come to Hong Kong or Japan. Don’t worry apparently that was always the plan a replacement is already there setting things up. Gwen was just trying to make her mark and fucked up.” Alexander says.
“I cannot believe any firm sent a rookie out for you.” Blair says not helping.
Alexander shrugs and walks off to get some food sorted out. I follow him.
“Can we have a minute before you go?” I ask.
“Of course baby. Are you okay?” Alexander asks.
“Yeah just need some kisses.” I say smiling. We head into the restroom next to the restaurant and makeout in a stall. Alexander hugs me close.
“I promise it won’t be like this forever. I really appreciate you giving up your summer for me. I know it has been hard.” Alexander says while holding me close.
“I’m sorry for being such a bitch this morning, well for days. I need to treat you better too.” I say.
“I love you. I have to go. I’ll be back around 4 to get ready for tonight. We can skip the film and go to dinner.” Alexander says.
“What?” I ask.
“I can do the red carpet. Walk inside and leave out the side before the film starts and meet you for dinner.” Alexander says.
“No party to go to?” I ask.
“No.” Alexander says.
“Okay. I’m going out with Blair for the day. See you later.” I say and kiss him goodbye.
Alexander picks up his food and I join Blair.
“Are you going to spend the day trying to get me to influence Alexander to go back to you?” I ask as we travel out of the city.
“No, I think that is a done deal. You’re good for him you know. He is coping far better than expected. He really didn’t want to do this sort of work because of this level of fuss. I thought he’d have walked out by now, not extended.” Blair says.
“He’s doing alright. A few dodgy interviews but I think people love how honest he is one day and how closed off the next.” I say.
“Yes he is still keeping everyone guessing. Max is the opposite, everyone knows 90percent of what he says is bullshit but they put up with it because he is pretty.” Blair says.
“You and Max fucking?” I ask.
“You saw straight through my Eric smokescreen.” Blair says.
“It’s only a partial screen. You see potential in Eric. But good excuse to see Max but like me with Alexander you’re way down the priority list when he’s working.” I say.
“Something like that. Still he is making me money.” Blair says.
“Does your wife not mind?” I ask.
“My wife is also bi and we’re very open. We both like our arrangement. We have each other and our kids. We also have no guilt sex with the same sex whenever we want to.” Blair says.
“Ahh. So telling Jay you didn’t like cheating on your wife was just to get him hot, make him feel special.” I say.
“Something like that.” Blair says.
“Wasted effort. Jay is easy.” I say.
“Water under the bridge. He is dating one of the other agents and doing really good work. If he pulled anything like he did on Alexander he’d be gone.” Blair says.
“Please tell me it wasn’t a setup. Did you have Jay pull that shit as a way to get Alexander back?” I ask.
“No.” Blair laughs.
“Really?” I ask coldly.
“No. I wouldn’t derail Alexander like that. I accept that Jay just had a mad moment, unhappy about you two cheating on him and causing the breakup.” Blair says.
“Nice spin. Jay and Alexander did not split due to cheating and were friends after their breakup. They fell out over Jay taking someone else’s side in a totally different fight. Jay has shat over Alexander repeatedly ever since they met. He is one of the worst people I know.” I say quietly.
“Well he’s a good worker, very good at his job. I’m really glad he reached out to me when Sal fired him.” Blair says.
“Alexander won’t return to you while Jay works for you. And how do you know Jay won’t flip out on anyone else.” I say.
“He won’t, he really wants this career. I trust him. Alexander wouldn’t ever have to come into contact with him.” Blair says.
“I don’t think that’s enough.” I say.
The rest of our chat is much easier as we stick to the sights around us. We visit a castle and some churches and it’s nice to be able to chat with someone about it, even if it is Blair.
He drops me back at the hotel just before Alexander is due and heads off to see Max.
I sit on the bed and wonder if I should tell Alexander about what I did now or later or at all.