“Wake up sleepy.” Alexander says kissing my cheek.
“Wow you look good. Is it time for you to go?” I ask.
“I’m just back. You were totally dead when I got back so I let you sleep. Red carpet all done. I’m all yours.” Alexander says.
I reach out and pull him on top of me for more kisses.
“Want to go for dinner somewhere?” I ask.
“I ate I’m sorry. We had a big meal after the panel. I’m not hungry.” Alexander says.
“So why wake me?” I ask grumpily.
“Shit Peter I thought we’d have some time together. What the fuck did I do now?” Alexander asks.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. I did. When Tom called about the pictures we didn’t just talk. We got off. I wanted to tell you last night but I couldn’t because Eric was here and this morning I didn’t want to tell you when we’d be apart all day.” I say quietly, ashamed.
Alexander’s face flashes with disappointment and hurt before he can hide it. I know he’ll feel let down.
“You forgave me when I did similar without bringing it up again. I know you’ve been feeling lonely, you could have done a lot worse. But no more, please.” Alexander says.
“I wouldn’t. It just happened, it wasn’t planned. I love you. I’m sorry for being so grumpy with you, I’ve been feeling so guilty. But can you be honest with me, tell me how you’re really feeling. I know you’re mad at me.” I say holding my breath.
“I can’t lose you. You’re right, I’m mad at you right now. I want to scream and shout but I know you can’t take it. If you wanted to cheat on me it wouldn’t be hard for you right now but you wouldn’t do that.
I’m upset but I understand, you were lonely, stressed, had just had more bad news and you needed someone and I wasn’t there. I’m mad at you but I am just as mad at me.
You needed me last night but it was all about me again, getting me out of trouble, no thought was given to you being in the pictures. Eric told me what you said last night. I hadn’t given any real thought to how those pictures could affect your life. After everything you did to protect me from Aaron, I’ve really let you down.” Alexander says crying.
“So yet again it’s all about you and I’m going to get zero support.” I say coldly. I can’t quite believe it came out my mouth, especially when I’m in the wrong, but I hate how he’s excusing me and deflecting onto him.
We lie next to each other in silence for a few minutes.
Alexander reaches his hand out to mine and squeezes.
We are both crying. I’m so tired of everything being so hard.
Alexander rolls closer to me and brushes away my tears.
“This is silly. We have too little time together to waste it being unhappy and fighting.” Alexander says.
“I’m sorry. Kiss me.” I say.
Alexander gives me a big grin and covers my face with kisses before our lips meet for long kiss. Holding each other our tension ebbs away and we kiss some more.
“I would love to stay like this all night but I need some food.” I say my stomach growling.
“Want to order something?” Alexander asks.
“I know I should be eating at local places but there is a McDonalds down the street. Want to come with me?” I ask laughing.
“Okay baby. Let’s go.” Alexander says.
Alexander switches his shirt for a t-shirt and we head out.
I order a pork burger to make me feel like I’m trying something local. Alexander gets an apple pie.
“You surprise me.” I say.
“Why?” Alexander asks.
“You said you weren’t hungry and here you are with something that isn’t fish, fruit, salad or yogurt.” I say.
“I love them, we’ve been together this long and never been to Mcdonalds together.” Alexander says.
“Tastes good tonight. Maybe we should have more quick meals when we have time instead of fancy dinner so we can spend more time together alone.” I say.
“I love you. But I’m feeling out of shape as it is.” Alexander says.
“Sushi in Japan.” I say.
“Can not wait. Have you been looking up places to go?” Alexander asks.
“Not yet. We can together when we get back.” I say.
“That sounds good. We can sleep in tomorrow, car comes at 12, and we are flying via London. Long second flight and those stupid pods again.” Alexander says.
“Great for our legs. Shit for closeness. I guess we’ll just sleep.” I say.
“I have a hard time sleeping without you. When you were staying with Tom I was a Zombie.” Alexander says.
“You could have asked me to come back.” I say.
“We are both idiots. New rule, no stupid fighting.” Alexander says.
“No nights along and no stupid fighting and no Peter being grumpy. Good rules.” I say.
“Lets go back and not fight, not be alone and not be grumpy.” Alexander says.
“Race you.” I say heading for the door. We zoom down the street back to the hotel and get into the elevator laughing and panting.
Alexander throws himself on me the second the doors close. I am glad I’m in a better mood and Alexander isn’t mad at me.
We strip off, Alexander sorts his hired clothes out to be collected while I run us a bath. Alexander gets in and I follow nestling between his legs and leaning back onto his chest. He wraps his arms around me and nestles my neck.
“I am going to stop moping and start having fun. I’ve been crap to be around recently.” I say.
“Good. Else I’m sending you home. I’ve not been much fun either. Fuck I need a break. I’m seriously considering taking next semester off.” Alexander says.
“You can be my housekeeper. Dinner on table every night.” I laugh.
“You deserve a man who can take care of you properly.” Alexander says kissing me some more.
“Would you stay at the house if you were off?” I ask.
“Well I’d have to keep to the rules.” Alexander says.
“I’d be okay as long as you visited regularly.” I say.
“Really?” Alexander asks hopefully.
“You would go nuts at school not doing anything and I’d miss you like crazy but I wouldn’t be lonely and I’d have school to focus on and hopefully a job.” I say.
“I’d drive you mad wanting attention when you didn’t have enough time. I would miss you like crazy though if I was elsewhere.” Alexanders says.
“I’d miss you too. We both sleep better together and time like this is perfect. It would be hard to give up. Could you not just do less classes? You’ll get a proper winter break, no work, no meetings, we could go skiing or something.“ I say.
“That sounds nice. “ Alexander says.
“You shouldn’t base what you do on me though. I’ll fit in, I’m not keen on long distance again but I’d not end this over that. I am not ready to let you go.” I say.
Alexander squeezes me tight.
“Thanks baby. I’m not making any decisions yet.” Alexander says.
“You might feel better after our vacation.” I say.
We move off the subject. I can’t contemplate life without him right now. That is why I’m here even though it isn’t as much fun as I expected. I am determined to have a new attitude. Make the most of what I’m doing and not put so much pressure on myself to be the perfect tourist without Alexander. If I want a day in bed with movie or a book then I will do it. I feel myself pulling out of my funk.
“Thanks for sticking with me baby. I know you’re working hard and worrying about me on top is too much. If I can make things easier for you, you won’t need a break.” I say.
“Baby I am fully, completely in love with you, happy or sad. I’m not going to get rid of you because things are not easy. You are mine and I’m not giving you up ever. You’re my baby. All mine.” Alexander says.
We get out the tub and hold each other dripping on the floor.
“We’re going to be okay me and you. We’re going to be better than okay, we’re going to have an amazing time together. Even when you’re grumpy and we fight there is a bit of my head that tells me I’m fighting with my Peter, he cares enough to fight. For too long I couldn’t let myself be with you and even the best day during that time was worse than the worst day with you. Being yours is so important to me. I am going to do my very, very best to say no to all extra requests, no extra photoshoots, no just one more interview, no days off with my boyfriend replaced by work. I can’t promise it will always work out but I will push harder.” Alexander says.
“I love you too baby. I do and you’re right every day together, even when it’s only half a night’s sleep is better than when we were apart. I barely survived that time and I’m being reckless with you now and I promise no more. You’re my Alexander.” I say.
We stand there together a good while longer getting cold, just holding each other. Knowing everything will be okay, maybe not for another month or so but soon. As we hold each other we feel the tension lift. We needed this, we needed to wake up and stop being fucking stupid.
Pretty speeches from my man may seem cheesy but they mean everything to me. That he needs me to know how he feels is everything. I was so stupid to walk out in London, he was stupid to let me. I know that won’t happen again.
“New rule.” I say getting into bed.
“Go on.” Alexander says.
“Cool off time is limited to an hour.” I say.
“No more running away, no more telling ourselves the other needs the space?” Alexander asks.
“Is that okay?” I ask.
“Yes. No more rules tonight, just kisses.” Alexander says.
We kiss for ages, just kissing and holding each other. We sleep well together, or I know I do, and Alexander is on the same part of my chest when we wake.
I kiss the top of his head and squeeze him good. He looks up and kisses me back.
We spend a lazy morning together looking up places to visit, kissing and snuggling. I do feel like things will be okay now.
“Do you want to see how your video did?” I ask.
“No. I had a message from Mart that the newspaper will print an apology though.” Alexander says.
“You’re funny. You get all mad at this stuff but your anger burns off so fast and you just don’t care anymore. I love you for it too, means when you forgive me you really have moved on.” I say.
“You hang on to things more but that’s okay too, you rarely use my past issued against me. I crazy love you.” Alexander says.
“Let’s get packed up then shower.” I say.
Alexander nods and we sweep through the room, we barely unpacked but it is still an effort to squeeze everything in.
“Do we need to lose some stuff or send some things home?” I ask.
“I think we need to fold things better. It’s not like we’ve bought anything other than your underwear spree in New York.” Alexander says.
“I’ve a few brouchures and things from daytrips, I could post them home.” I say.
“But they don’t take up much space. Or we could get another bag.” Alexander says.
“Yeah I guess. We can store our bags in the hotel in Australia when we travel and just take the small ones anyway.” I say.
“I’d actually like to take you shopping in Hong Kong if we get time. I think this trip is more a meet and greet for investors and producers than promotion. That’s why Baz is coming, to get more funding for his next couple of projects. I think I’ll just be a prop.” Alexander says.
“So we’re prostitutes being paid in fancy hotels and dim sum the next few days?” I joke.
“I think so.” Alexander laughs.
“Hey does this mean we actually get to hang out for a couple of days?” I ask.
“Yes. We just have to be charming.” Alexander grins back.
“Show me.” I say.
“You want to see how charming I can be?” Alexander says grinning like crazy.
We are a mess of limbs and mouths on the floor. We tumble into the shower together touching and kissing and laughing.
“Morning sex with you in the shower is the best.” Alexander says.
“You just charmed me into it.” I say laughing.
Alexander is all over my, his hands, his mouth, oh fuck his mouth.
“Take me good baby.” I groan.
After we dry off and are lying on the bed naked making more plans for our time in Japan. Alexander is getting enthusiastic about the food which always makes me happy. A lazy morning together, a happy Alexander, nothing could be better. This is my perfect summer.
After a while Alexanders fingers start exploring my ass.
“You need more of my ass?” I ask.
Alexander laughs and rolls onto his side to show his lengthening dick.
“Always. Please, again, now.” Alexander says kissing me between every word.
“Give it to me.” I say. I love how much he wants me.
He takes his time kissing me slowly all over, his hands are everywhere, he’s in control again and I let him. That he fucks me hard after the slow build up is a surprise but oh so welcome. When he collapses on to me I feel incredible.
“I don’t deserve you.” I say grinning.
“Oh baby you deserve someone way better than me. I know you’ve not been happy but you’ve been so, so amazing. I could never have managed this trip without you. You’re amazing baby.” Alexander says.
“Love you too. We best get ready to go.” I say.
I love that he does appreciate me, I feel good. My new attitude will be easy to keep up if he’s like this. If we are like this.
The travel is soooo long. We drink and watch movies and spend time visiting with each other trying to stay awake as we’ll arrive late afternoon. Finally we get through customs and a car is waiting for us and Baz. In the car is our interpreter come PR person for the trip Phillip.
“I thought it would be easier to do the itinerary here in the car so you can have the full evening… Tomorrow Mr Chan will be taking you out on his boat…” Phillip says talking the fastest I have ever heard anyone speak.
He rattles off activities, dinner and filming obligations for Baz and Alexander and myself.
“Will there be time to shop? I really want to go to the Jade market and we need to get some more luggage.” Alexander says.
“Yes on your final day you have the morning free before your flight to Tokyo.” Phillip says.
The hotel is enormous. Our suite is totally off the hook. It has a baby grand piano in the living area and the bathroom is enormous with a massive circular spa tub overlooking the harbour and a steam room. The view is crazy, I love it. Being by the water is so calming.
“Can we stay here forever?” I ask.
“I am so glad we’re not paying for this.” Alexander says.
“Who is?” I ask.
“I believe it’s one of the investors. We need to be extra charming.” Alexander says.
“I am super tired and hungry I didn’t each much on the flight. Shall we go out for dinner and try and stay awake a little longer?” I ask.
“Yes we can shower and send our clothes off for laundry. I stink and so do you.” Alexander says.
“I do, long flights are not good even if we did get free pjs. Hey I liked Phillip” I say.
“I really liked him. He’s going to be assistant, translator, PR all in one.” Alexander says.
“Really good vibes. Shall I make a dinner reservation here while you sort laundry? All the dirty stuff is in your bag.” I say.
“Thanks for making my bag the stinky one. What restaurants do they have?” Alexander asks.
“Loads, I want to try the Cantonese place.” I say.
“That sounds good, I feel like we should go out but I might be asleep by dessert.” Alexander says.
I grin and strip off. Alexander slaps my ass and picks up my clothes. I call to make a reservation while Alexander calls for laundry pickup.
“It was all booked up but because we’re in this suite we get a table, didn’t even have to use your name.” I say.
“Cool. You are magical. Do we have long?” Alexander asks.
“An hour. We have to wear long pants and shoes.” I say.
“We can do that, we have some clean clothes.” Alexander says.
“I love you baby. Thanks for forgiving me.” I say.
“You would have done the same. Baby we are both human. Really there is nothing to forgive.” Alexander says.
We shower together, feels good to get the grime of travel off my skin. We make good use of the supplied shower products, washing each other’s hair and scrubbing up the others backs. We kiss a lot too.
We reluctantly get out, I don’t know what it is for us two and water but showers, tubs, the ocean, swimming and even boat trips are so good for us. The water always makes us feel closer, washes away all our distance and troubles. Not that we have any right now, today is a good day.
“Baby, you are so cute with your hair like that.” I say.
“We both need a haircut. But you look hot too.” Alexander says.
“I bet they have a salon here. Or maybe Phillip can schedule something in.” I say.
“This bathroom is crazy. I can’t wait to bang you in there. Next house we buy will have a spa with a view.” Alexander says.
“You’ve done a lot of the banging recently.” I say.
“Is that a problem? You feel so good and I know you’ve been having fun.” Alexander says.
“I’ve loved it. Just checking you’re okay with it. I love how you’ve been leading so much.” I admit.
“I am so glad we don’t have a problem.” Alexander says hugging me close.
We get dressed and head to the restaurant.
“Wow this is amazing.” Alexander says as we walk in. It is a beautiful room with an amazing view.
We are seated quickly and spend a few minute looking out.
“You said it was Cantonese.” Alexander says.
“It is, it just happens to specialise in seafood. What did you expect in this location?” I ask grinning.
“This is your apology.” Alexander says grinning.
“Want to do the tasting menu?” I ask.
“Yes, no, I don’t know, so much choice.” Alexander says.
We order a tonne of food and it is amazing. We’re both pretty sleepy so don’t talk too much.
“I really like this new happy Peter.” Alexander says.
“Good. I like it too. To be fair we’ve been together most the time which makes it easier.” I say.
“I cannot wait until our vacation. Me and you all the time no interruptions.” Alexander says.
“Any more thoughts on where we should go? Still Hawaii?” I ask.
“We must decide together. I want to go somewhere as quiet as possible with the ocean near.” Alexander says.
“Your private island.” I joke.
“One day. Is quiet good with you?” Alexander asks.
“I’d be okay with just swimming but I’d prefer if we could do more activities. Climbing or water-skiing or something.” I say.
“Okay. I understand that. Five weeks to get through, well four really as we have a free week.” Alexander says.
“Tomorrow sounds like a nice break too. Though I guess you have to be in charming mode.” I say.
“Things feel like they’ll be easier now. I don’t know why. Knowing us some disaster awaits. An earthquake, a video of me and prince harry, you leaving in the middle of the night…” Alexander says laughing.
I feed him some food to shut him up.
“I’m not going to disappear in the night. I’d miss your morning loving.” I say.
“Let’s pay up and have a sword fight.” Alexander says.
“You not too tired?” I ask.
“I’m very tired but you could just lie on me and I’d shoot. I’ve been looking at my sexy man all night and I just want to feel him on top of me. I want to feel his big hands round my cock and his mouth on my neck.” Alexander says across the table.
“Oh boy. Not like you to talk like that.” I say excited.
“You like it though, you want me underneath you, you want my mouth around your dick.” Alexander says grinning.
“Can we have the check please.” I say to a passing waiter.