The sun is shining, we are on the deck of a yacht in the harbour ready to depart.
Alexander was right he’s bait. He has countless pictures taken with everyone. Give piggyback rides to the kids and endlessly repeats lines from the movie. It’s like he’s the entertainment at a kid’s birthday party but so much cuter.
I don’t go without notice myself. Phillip says it is because Alexander and I are tall blondes. Given the people are obviously well travelled I hardly think we’re an unusual sight but I play along and am as charming as I can be.
We’re having a really great day, the weather is good and the company is fun. I grab Alexander for a moment together after lunch.
“You having fun?” I ask.
“I really am. I was worried about today and saying the wrong thing but it’s easy to be in Sandy mode when I’m not being asked the same stupid questions about the film. It’s nice to be around people rooting for the film to do well and not trying to find a new angle to dismiss it.” Alexander says.
“That’s good. They all seem to want to know your next project, you are pretty popular with these guys.” I say.
“Yeah. Sal better have some stellar meetings for me when I’m back. These guys are ready to bankroll anything, I wish I had a script to sell them on I’d be a producer in no time.” Alexander laughs.
“Get in touch with Dan and the guys see if they have anything ready.” I say.
“Good idea.” Alexander says.
“Although you keep saying you want a break.” I say.
“I do but I want my career back too.” Alexander says.
“And school?” I ask.
“I want to get that back on track too. I want to be back in class with you, math and computing and physics though I think you’re well past me there.” Alexander says.
“I’d love for us to have more classes together. What about English are you dropping that idea?” I ask.
“I’ll keep working for it to be my minor but I really missed taking the classes I really like last semester. That contributed to my funk, starting late, not being with you, not managing to make it work with Jay, not being with you, not having you in the house, only seeing you in one class.” Alexander says.
“You missed me.” I say.
“I didn’t know you were the missing piece. Not even when I first took you back. I should have known, every minute in class together was so intense. I wanted you so badly, my body knew what my head didn’t.” Alexander says.
“I’m so glad your head caught up. Ugh I can’t believe how shitty I’ve been acting. I get so much more time with you now than I did a few months ago. My new attitude is here to stay.” I say.
“It hasn’t been easy. You don’t have to push all your feelings down. Be yourself with me, I’ll love you whatever you feel. I used to think you milked that you looked after me freshman winter, thought you were guilting me sometimes. Really I don’t give you enough credit for what you did. I wouldn’t be on this boat without you, I would never have been well enough to make this movie. You were amazing.” Alexander says.
“You are amazing.” I say and steal a quick kiss.
Our moment alone is over as Alexander is lead off to be polite to people. I head over to speak to Phillip.
“Is Alexander free tomorrow evening?” I ask.
“No, tomorrow is a full working day, photoshoot in the morning then chat show taping in the evening. We have an audience seat for you.” Phillip says.
“So I could shop in the morning then join you guys in the evening?” I ask.
“Yes. I’ll arrange for a driver for you for the day.” Phillip says.
“I’m sure I can manage.” I say.
“Peter you are famous here and with your height and coloring you are easily spotted. For your safety we’ll arrange a car, don’t worry about cost it will be taken care of.” Phillip says.
“How am I famous? Surely not the punch? Ugh.” I say.
“Yes the punch helped, the hero boyfriend stepping in. But all the other things too, teenage girls love you and Sandy as a couple. There are fan videos of you made from every time Sandy mentions you and every picture of you together. A magazine came out with the park pictures in today and I hear they are planning a second run. I hear your last publicist was trying to get you to do some work together?” Phillip asks.
“Yes but it is still a no.” I say.
“Okay understood. I know Sandy also doesn’t want to do staged photos together. Is that likely to change, given how well received the park shots are.” Phillip asks.
“That will not change. It upsets Alexander a lot when anything includes me. He isn’t ashamed of me he’s very aware of how his career already impacts me, he certainly wouldn’t want that to increase. Also I do not want it. I’m just a normal college student who happens to have a famous boyfriend.” I say.
“No pressure from me. I just wanted to know the situation. It’s not like Sandy needs that kind of work or extra publicity.” Phillip says.
“Exactly his comeback is successful as far as I can see. I don’t think he wants a bigger profile. He’d actually be happy if it was smaller.” I say.
“No chance of that with the next film coming in a few weeks. If it is successful too and the buzz is good then he’ll be seen as a big star. He’s going places.” Phillip says.
“He’s going back to college.” I say.
“Yes, but that won’t hurt.” Phillip says.
“Can you recommend somewhere for dim sum for our lunch before we leave? I’d like to take him somewhere special.” I say.
“I’ll book somewhere and a car as Alexander wants to shop that morning.” Phillip says.
“Thanks, you’re so helpful and pleasant unlike pretty much anyone we’ve dealt with this trip. You are really making things easier.” I say.
“Look I like you guys. I’d love to continue working for Sandy.” Phillip says.
“Who do you work for now? Are you with an agency or the film, did Sal hire you?” I ask.
“Sal hired me, the film are paying for me. I’m independent right now, I was hired for my language skills. I used to be fulltime for another actor but he went into rehab and is almost broke.” Phillip says.
“Alexander really likes you, and so do I. You’ve been great. But when he’s in school there wouldn’t be that much to do, not really and you probably can’t survive on a retainer. Eric’s Mom is looking at maybe setting up a PR firm, she used to own a travel business and we all thought she’s be good at that stuff, especially for Eric and Alexander. Maybe you should talk to her, I know Alexander is happy to invest and Blair is willing to send some business. That way you’d be busy but available for Alexander when he needs you.” I say.
“Wow. I do not have the capital to invest in a partnership and I’m not sure about working for someone, especially someone unproven.” Phillip says half excited, half defeated.
“I am sure something would be worked out. You know the business, the people, what people need.” I say.
“Thanks, I do appreciate that.” Phillip says.
“Hey if you don’t have your next gig lined up you can come to Australia with us and work for Alexander the rest of the summer in LA.” I say.
“If he wants that yes. Australia was pencilled in but that’s the last stop for the Zombies.” Phillip laughs.
“I’ll check with Alexander.” I say.
I look at my man surrounded by kids and enjoying every minute. He looks relaxed. When the crowd thins I make my way over to him and tell him my plan. He’s so enthusiastic.
“Phillip if Eric’s mom is agreeable I’ll put up your side of the money, call it a bonus. I’d love to keep you on for the rest of the summer too. Peter has the best ideas.” Alexander says.
“I need to talk to her and see what the plans are. Thank-you so much for the opportunity.” Says Phillip.
“You’ve been great and we both like you which hasn’t really happened before.” Alexander says.
“Thanks. I’ll have to keep it up.” Phillip says.
We pose for more pictures and have a few drinks as the evening draws in.
We get back to the harbour and it takes a few minutes for our legs to realise we’re on dry land.
“This evening is free now, do you need a car to take you anywhere?” Phillip asks as we walk away from the boat.
“No we’ll have room service later. We’re pretty tired with jetlag and I’ve an early start tomorrow.” Alexander says.
We get back to the hotel and Alexander slips his hand into mine as soon as we get into the elevator. In the room he clings to me as soon as we’re inside the door.
“Today was so hard being with you and not getting lots of time together.” Alexander says before kissing me hard.
“You looked to be having a lot of fun. Those kids loved you and you were so nice to them.” I say.
“Yeah it was okay and it was a cool trip but I just wanted to be wrapped around you. I need you with me.” Alexander says.
“We manage in school every day being in different classes and doing things apart. What has you so clingy today?” I ask.
“I just want cuddles and kisses. I want my boy close to me. I don’t know I’m jetlagged and feeling a bit funny. In need of comfort.” Alexander says cuddling me close and kissing me.
“You really don’t need to beg for cuddles. Shall we watch a movie?” I ask.
“Is it okay if I shower first? I think I got a bit of spray.” I say.
Alexander nods again.
“I love you Peter. I meant what I said before I owe you so much.” Alexander says.
“Baby you being sick changed my life too. I found out so much about myself, you made me a much better person.” I say and head into the bathroom.
Alexander is snoozing propped up on a bunch of pillows. I grab the remote and sit next to him. I nudge him with my elbow.
“Hey baby. You want to sleep or watch something?” I ask.
“Cuddles, more cuddles.” Alexander murmurs snuggling on to my chest. For once I’m not feeling too tired.
“Do you want some food?” I ask.
“Just your ass. Should use the tub, silly Peter having a shower.” Alexander says kissing me.
“I’m up for that but I don’t want you to fall asleep and drown.” I say.
“I’m sorry, I really am exhausted.” Alexander says.
“Baby that’s okay. All part of my new attitude no being mad at wasting time on loafing. If you need a longer sleep have one.” I say.
“Thanks baby. It was exhausting being on all day.” Alexander says.
“Come on let’s get you undressed, go and brush your teeth.” I say.
Alexander rolls off the bed sleepily and stumbles into the bathroom. He looks so sexy and cute.
I grab a tablet and find a book to read while he sleeps. I feel good unlike Alexander I didn’t feel detached from him today. Maybe because I had more down time and could watch him as much as the scenery. Maybe it’s just my new attitude holding up, it was helped by Alexander’s words. I’ve been walking on air since he was so nice earlier. I wonder what made him think of it.
“You look so cute with your hair all mussed up.” I laugh as Alexander walks back towards me.
“I’m tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired.” Alexander whines.
“Come on into bed then baby.” I say.
Alexander cuddles up to me and sighs happily. I wrap and arm around him as he makes himself comfortable on my chest.
“Am I too dependent on you?” Alexander asks, tracing shapes on my chest with his fingers.
“I think you sometimes need a lot of help and don’t remember to ask for it.” I say.
“Do you miss having a smaller boyfriend?” Alexander asks.
“Smaller dick or height?” I ask.
“Both.” Alexander says.
“No not at all. I love you as you are and I love how we’re so similar and that you’re a big man. Do you wish I was a small guy?” I ask.
“No way. I did like being able to throw Casey around a bit but I missed your weight on me much more. I like being the same too.” Alexander says.
“I’m glad you’re not thinking of swapping me. Did you enjoy Eric? He’s little.” I ask.
“It was fun as a one-time thing. It was hot you watching but I wish I’d not done it, I’d rather have been with you.” Alexander says.
“I feel the same about being with Tom. I didn’t want to do it at all but you were so excited.” I say.
“You didn’t want to?” Alexander asks sadly.
“No, but I enjoyed it when it happened and it worked out because he has become a friend and we might not if we hadn’t gone to his place.” I say.
“But you felt coerced by me?” Alexander asks quietly.
“I wanted to please you, I didn’t feel pressured by you. Did you feel pressured over Eric?” I ask.
“No, I wanted to, I wanted to thank him for his help.” Alexander says.
“Good. I’m sorry if you regret it.” I say.
“I really regret pushing you into something you didn’t want more. God Alexander don’t ever do that again. Fuck I feel sick.” Alexander says.
“It’s okay baby, I told you it worked out. Calm down and go to sleep.” I say annoyed that I’ve upset him.
“I won’t do it again. Man no wonder you were so ready to go home. You must have been feeling pretty unloved. I coerced you, I left you alone when you needed me and I got you plastered all over the media. Here you are still with me, still propping me up, looking after me. You deserve so much better.” Alexander says morose.
“Shut up. I want you, I love you. I am sick of you doing this though. Listing your failings and asking for reassurance. Stop being so fucking needy. I do deserve better.” I say grumpily getting out of bed.
“Where are you going?” Alexander asks.
I walk to the closet to get a blanket and pillow.
“I don’t sleep with Sandy Green.” I say making a bed on the sofa.
“What the fuck?” Alexander shouts.
“You have people telling you you’re great all day all the time when working. I am tired of you demanding it from me like this, fishing for compliments through your woe is me routine. I tell you I love you every day and I show you I love you. Maybe I tell you too often, maybe the words don’t mean anything to you. I will not put up with your shit any longer. I am tired of reassuring you every time we disagree. I’m tired of you pulling the insecure Sandy routine. I only want to date Alexander.” I say sternly.
“No nights apart. That’s the rule.” Alexander says.
I just ignore him. He can be so annoying sometimes. I just want him to get it. Every day I get stronger and more like myself. I wish he would do the same. I want sexy secure Alexander back. I love him however he is but he has no reason to be insecure anymore. Yes we’re having a few fights and I have thought about going home but he’s the only one who tries to end things. I’m tired of being the strong one, the reassuring one, it’s too much pressure.
“Please come to bed Peter. I need you.” Alexander says.
“I thought you were tired? Go to sleep. I’m reading here.” I say and go back to what I’m doing.
“Baby please. I can’t sleep without you. No more grumpy Peter is a rule too.” Alexander says.
“Maybe no more needy Alexander should be a rule too. Just go to sleep, I’m not tired.” I say.
Alexander gets out of bed and comes over to me. He squeezes on to the sofa and nuzzles me. I move my arm around him and he’s asleep in a moment. I can’t stay mad at him. When I finish reading I nudge him awake and we get into bed.
In the shower next morning all is good. I massage his shoulders and kiss his back. I don’t think he’s mad at me but when my fingers move to his ass he steps away.
We kiss goodbye and I eat breakfast alone at the hotel before going shopping. I’ve a plan to put things right tomorrow and I want to get something special for Alexander. I worry that I’ve been too harsh on him. It’s silly, I’m unhappy that we’re not together much then when we are I complain he’s too needy. I just want my boyfriend to be like himself when we’re together. I want to spend less time fighting and bickering.
I browse the market easily no one hassles me though I can tell I’m being photographed at times. I find exactly what I want a jade pendant of two fish kissing. It is perfect for him. Neither of us wear jewellery, neither of us have any. We both wear nice watches but that is it.
I continue through some big stores but don’t find anything else I want. So I go back to the hotel and work out for a couple of hours. Feels good. I get changed and another car comes to take me to the tv studio.
I have fun watching him and how the whole show is put together. It is pretty late when it finishes and I can see Alexander is exhausted. He falls asleep on me in the car on the way back. I put him to bed and then have a quick chat with Phillip about tomorrow, reconfirming flight time and that he made the lunch reservation for us.
As Alexander sleeps I repack out things, it is still a big squeeze we need another bag. I stuff extra stuff into our hand luggage, it will have to do.
As I get into bed Alexander moves and clings to me. I kiss his head and hold him tight. He sleeps pretty late. I get up and run a bath and then gently wake him up.
“Come on baby, need some kisses.” I say kissing him lightly on the cheek.
He reaches out, pulls me on top of him and hugs me too tightly as he kisses me back.
“I’ve run a bath, we haven’t used the sexy spa yet and checkout is soon.” I say.
“I want you.” Alexander says kneading my ass.
“Come get me.” I say climbing off him and heading for the bathroom.
I turn the jets on in the tub and sink in. I really want to have a romantic morning with Alexander. Sexy and romantic.
“Hey beautiful.” Alexander says climbing in next to me.
“Sorry to wake you. I though we needed some us time.” I say.
“I like that idea. Naked us time in the spa.” Alexander says.
“I’m sorry for being mean the other day.” I say.
“I’m sorry for being annoying.” Alexander says.
“Clean slate?” I ask.
“Yeah, no more fighting, no more being needy, either of us.” Alexander says.
“Okay, deal.” I say and move closer.
“That’s right come here sexy.” Alexander says wrapping his leg over mine.
“I love this tub, it could fit another 6 guys in it.” I say.
“I only want you, no distractions.” Alexander says.
We chill out in the water enjoying the jets, making out.
I try and suck Alexander a little but am defeated by the bubbles. We both laugh and laugh. But we’re crazy turned on. Alexander takes me over the edge of the tub facing the harbor. It is crazy good.
“Thanks baby, you were marvellous.” I say.
“That was so much fun.” Alexander says running his hands over me and kissing me lots.
“We best get ready for lunch. I’ve done most the packing.” I say.
“Thanks baby.” Alexander says.
We dress quickly, checkout and stash our bags. As we walk to the door Phillip and Max intercept us with a couple of the investors from the boat trip.
“I told Baz about the restaurant you were going to and it sounded so good we thought we would join you, we’ve been able to get the private dining room.” Phillip says.
I can’t hide my hurt.
“Of course, sounds great.” Alexander says.
I pull Alexander aside.
“I had plans for us. Can you excuse yourself?” I ask.
“I don’t think so. I’m sorry baby. I’ll make it up to you.” Alexander says.
“Phillp I’m not feeling well as this is now business I’ll stay here.” I say not even looking at Alexander.
“I thought you really wanted to try this place.” Alexander says confused.
“I’ve a headache and have lost my appetite. I’ll see you here after and we’ll go to the airport together.” I say.
“Oh we’ll meet you at the airport it’ll save time. Here are mine and Baz’s luggage tickets I’m sure you can manage it all.” Phillip says breezing out the door.
I glare after him. I shrug away from Alexanders embrace and head out the door to get some air.
I know I’m probably being stupid and stubborn but I really wanted a romantic time with Alexander. I’d have been terrible company at lunch and might have said the wrong thing.
I walk and walk no idea where I am or where I’m going. Some teen girls are following me and giggling. I keep walking faster but they seem to be multiplying. Should I stop and let them take pictures? Will I be left alone after? I keep going and dive into a shop.
I browse for a few minutes feeling kind of stupid. I head out again and retrace my steps back to the hotel keeping looking straight ahead and not worrying if anyone is following. Inside I head for the lounge and get some coffee and sit down. I realise I’ve not eaten for ages. I’m turning into Alexander. My stomach is in knots and I can’t face anything.
One of the hotel staff approaches me to tell me my car is here. I go and collect all the luggage, it fills one of those trolleys and I feel kind of embarrassed. The driver helps me unload at the airport and I stand waiting for the others to arrive. I wait ages and worry because they’re late.
Alexander suddenly comes running in.
“Come on you’re in the wrong place, we’ve been looking for you.” Alexander says out of breath.
We grab a couple of luggage carts, load up and I follow Alexander back outside.
“We’re going in a private plane, isn’t that cool. One of the investors insisted.” Alexander says.
We and the luggage are soon whisked away and put on the plane.
It is really cool. Really, really cool.
I sit with Alexander but he is deep in conversation with Baz so I stare out the window. Alexander reaches his hand out and I clasp it for the whole flight but we don’t talk at all. I wonder if he’s mad at me for not going to lunch.
Tokyo is crazy. Our hotel is really cool. We have a normal room but with a great view of Mount Fuji. I shake off the disappointment of the day and try and find that new attitude I’d been doing so well with.
“What’s the plan this week?” I ask Alexander as he unpacks.
“Meetings with Baz tomorrow afternoon, then he leaves. Then I’m shooting 2 ad campaigns.” Alexander says.
“Are you free for dinner tomorrow or will you and Baz be having a business dinner?” I ask.
“I don’t know.” Alexander says.
“How about tonight?” I ask.
“I’m kind of full from lunch and I ate snacks on the plane. Can we just stay here, just us?” Alexander asks.
“Can you watch while I eat?” I ask.
“Please don’t make me go out. I’m tired and just want some us time, I missed you today.” Alexander says.
“I’ve not eaten since breakfast yesterday, I am really hungry and I don’t want to wait for room service. I’ll see you later.” I say.
“I don’t want to fight but fuck Peter what is with you?” Alexander asks.
“I’m not fighting, I missed you today too and I’d love to spend this evening with you but you don’t want to come with me, which is fine. I didn’t want to go with you earlier. I’m really hungry and I’ll only be grumpy if I in stay with you.” I say heading out the door.
“Wait, I’ll come.” Alexander says.
He grabs my hand and squeezes it.
We head out holding hands to a sushi place not too far from our hotel. I don’t even think about us being recognised, I’m too hungry to think straight. They have an English menu and are really welcoming. I order a bunch of things.
“I’m sorry for not coming out earlier. I had a romantic time planned and was so disappointed when it was hijacked that I knew I wouldn’t be good company.” I say.
“It was a really great place. I’m sorry we couldn’t go together.” Alexander says.
“I wanted to do this earlier but as I’ll not be seeing you the rest of the week it’ll be now. We’ve never celebrated an anniversary, we’ve broken up and reunited so many times I wouldn’t know when it was anyway. So I think it should be today. I figure we’ve been together eighteen months off and on, I know I count us starting before you do, and maybe it’s less time. I don’t care. I want us to have a special day. I want us to do more normal couple things. I got this for you.” I say passing him the box with the pendant in, it’s on a plain leather cord.
“I love it. Thank-you.” Alexander says putting it on and grinning.
“Good. It looks good.” I say.
“You wanted to do this in a nice place, where it would be special. That was a really nice thought. I love that you’re doing it here and love the idea. You’re right we don’t do normal stuff enough, even when we’re at home. It has been forever since we went to a movie or to a school event. When we are home I’d love to have a normal day at the beach. And we do need to celebrate too. I am really sorry I let you down again today. I understand why you were upset. I promise never to turn an anniversary celebration into a business meeting again.” Alexander says.
“New rule.” I say.
Alexander nods as my food arrives. I wolf it down and order some more. Alexander just laughs at me.
“I don’t have anything for you. I wanted to take you shopping today.” Alexander says.
“You didn’t know.” I say.
“I’m trying not to list everything I’ve done wrong as I get that you hate it. But we did have plans for today and I should have chosen you. I don’t owe Baz or the other guys anything. I don’t feature in any of their plans. I should have put you first, especially if you had been ill.” Alexander says.
“I wasn’t I was just upset. All done now. We’re here in Japan, eating sushi, well I am.” I say.
“You full yet?” Alexander asks.
“No. But I’ll be okay.” I say.
“You would have been so mad at me if I’d skipped meals. I didn’t even notice. I’ve not been paying attention. I let Phillip treat you like shit earlier too and I didn’t even ask about your day on the plane. I’m not asking for your reassurance. I am apologizing and I am promising to do better.” Alexander says.
“Thanks baby. Today was rough, take me home and hold me.” I say.
Alexander squeezes my head and kisses my cheek.
“Anything for you baby. Anything.” Alexander says.