I am bouncing around in the car on my way to pick up Tom after school on Friday. Traffic is awful but I don’t care.
We hug and kiss hello.
“Can I take you for dinner?” I ask.
“Sounds good. I am starving. Been a busy few days. You look like you need to eat a lot more, still too thin.” Tom says.
“I gained 3 pounds. But yeah I’m not taking as good care of myself as I could.” I say.
I park up and take Tom’s hand. We’re at Mamma Cats, I love the food and I know none of the staff would tip anyone off or take pictures.
Mamma Cat comes out to greet us herself and leads us to a quiet booth in the back.
“Lovely to see you Peter. You’re too thin.” Mamma Cat says.
“Alexander makes me worry.” I say.
“You still need to eat, can’t have you both wasting away. Two hungry boy dinners coming up.” Mamma Cat says and sweeps away before we can protest.
“Do I get a choice?” Tom laughs at me as she walks away.
“Don’t worry the food is great here. I love this place.” I say.
“I’d love to work out with you this weekend. A week of hotel food and I feel like shite.” Tom says.
“Sorry I should have chosen somewhere healthier.” I say.
“I love Chinese food and they clearly love you here.” Tom says.
“Mamma Cat used to feed Alexander on set when he made a film out here. His mom had him on a wacky diet that he hated and she slipped him treats.” I say.
“That’s so cute. No news I take it.” Tom says as the food begins to arrive.
“He’s a very silly boy.” Mamma Cat says.
“He was under a lot of pressure.” I say.
“You are good for him. He was always better with you. Now eat up more coming.” Mamma Cat says firmly.
“Tell me about your show. Are you on break?” I ask.
“Yes week off midseason break, so I had publicity and meetings.” Tom says.
“I am so pleased you’re here. Things were tense at home with too much drama, we’re all okay now though. But I have missed you.” I say.
“You really do seem happy to see me, like a kid on christmas.” Tom says.
“I missed you. Things are okay at the house now but they have been pretty tense. I’ve not had anyone to talk to the way I talk to you.” I say.
“And I thought it was because you wanted to see me naked.” Tom jokes.
“That too.” I say with intent.
“No pressure.” Tom says.
“I’m lonely. You’re hot.” I say.
“I’m lonely too, I’ve had lot of dates but no one special. I keep comparing them to you.” Tom says.
“Seeing you is he first excitement I’ve had since leaving LA. I don’t even look at guys right now.” I say.
“Are you still hung up on what counts as cheating?” Tom asks.
“If Alexander wanted me to be faithful he would have asked me.” I say.
“You’re really angry with him.” Tom says.
“I’d have supported him, whatever he wanted he knows that. I hate that he didn’t give me the choice. I hate that he’s left me in shit. Told me I was his forever but didn’t say forever was only a few weeks.” I say bitterly.
“But you’ll forgive him. If he comes back?” Tom asks.
“In a heartbeat. Am I a mug?” I ask.
“You love him.” Tom says.
The rest of the meal we talk about normal stuff. It’s a relief. The food is amazing and we get some to take home for the others.
Later that night I get ready for bed while Tom is in the shower and think about what I’m doing. I am going to enjoy myself with Tom. It doesn’t feel like cheating with Tom. It feels right.
“Hey.” I say awkwardly as he comes in.
“You’re looking fine.” Tom says taking me all in.
I’m naked and have a semi.
“You look amazing.” I say stepping forward and running my hands over his damp arms.
“We don’t have to.” Tom says.
“Can we do something? At least help each other out.” I plead.
“I don’t want your tears of regret after.” Tom says.
“I want to be close to you. Please Tom.” I say.
“Just checking you’re sure. You know I want to.” Tom says and wraps me in his strong arms and kisses me.
I kiss back hungry for him. I have forgotten how everything feels. I have been so lonely, so alone.
Our bodies respond to each other and I kneel before him and breathe him in. Even just out the shower he’s so manly. I kiss his shaft and lap at his head. He groans and runs his hands through my hair.
It’s been far too long. I’m rushing, I take him deep before sucking on his beautiful head.
He pulls me up to face him and kisses me hard.
He pushes me back onto the bed and climbs on top. I groan and our lips stick together, kissing, pushing, exploring. I grind up against him and he rubs back. I feel everything. He’s amazing. I love it.
We roll so we’re facing each other and continue kissing.
“You are such a good kisser.” Tom says.
“You’re perfect, I love this body.” I say.
I begin to move down licking ever crevice and back up to his mouth.
He returns the favor, his tongue is like heaven. Every movement feels amazing.
We kiss and touch and grind until we can’t take it anymore. I grab our cocks and rub them together, I am crying out so loudly. I need this so much.
“Fuck Tom, fucccckkkkkkkkk.” I groan as I cum hard against his body. He wraps around me tightly as his own release begins. I love the feel of him convulsing against me. I feel so good. He’s so hot. This is just what I needed.
The guilt floods in moments later.
“You know I can’t offer you more.” I say as we lie together.
“Eyes wide open Pete. Friends first with us.” Tom says.
“If things were different.” I say.
“Long distance wouldn’t work anyhow. Don’t worry mate, I don’t want more from you. I’d be proud to call you my boyfriend of course I would but it wouldn’t be practical.” Tom says.
“Thanks. I’d be proud to have you as my boyfriend too.” I say.
“I know.” Tom says and kisses my nose.
Snuggling against him to sleep for the first time since he left I don’t dream of Alexander.
In the morning we shower separately then head downstairs.
I’m making coffee and Tom is cuddling behind me, kissing my neck. It feels wonderful. Tom always makes me feel safe and secure. Maybe because he is older. Maybe because I know I can trust him and he has never let me down. I want to please him too.
If there was no Alexander I’d love to be with Tom, but without Alexander I’d never have met Tom.
I snap back to the moment and turn my head to kiss Tom just as Eric walks in.
“Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure you’re just friends.” Eric says grinning.
“Oh we are. This one is so sexy I have to show him sometimes.” Tom says grinning and running his hands over my ass.
“Stop it you.” I playfully slap away his hands.
“It’s nice to see you happy. I’m not judging. You two okay with the party tonight?” Eric asks.
“Party?” Tom asks.
“Just the house guys and a couple of friends. There will probably be sex.” I say.
“Okay I’m in.” Tom says.
“Don’t worry it’s safe, no cameras.” Eric says.
“Oh I don’t know a sex tape with some young college lads might boost me a bit.” Tom laughs.
“If us three had a threesome and released the tape we’d break the internet.” Eric says and we all laugh.
“Much work lined up Eric?” Tom asks.
“Right now I’m focused on school shows and I’m doing a few gogo gigs for money. Blair hopes to find me something for winter break but I might just enjoy the time off. I have 2 small movie parts lined up for the summer. Nothing big, less than I’ve done so far but Blair seems to think they are worth it.” Eric says.
“Just keep plugging away a job is a job and you get to work with more and more people who might use you again.” Tom says.
“Yeah I’m not mad that they are small parts, I’m grateful for any job and I feel like these are on my own merit. I have to go, early rehearsal see you tonight” Eric says as he fills his coffee mug and heads out the door.
“Do you think Eric will make it?” I ask Tom.
“He won’t be a big star, not as a young guy at least, wrong look but he’ll get work. I have landed a huge role. It is part of what I was doing last week. Things are going to change.” Tom says.
“Are you going to be a superhero?” I ask.
“Yup. Start filming in May after my series wraps. I auditioned 2 years ago and it’s finally coming off.” Tom says.
“You’re gonna be a big star. Don’t forget me.” I say laughing.
“As if I could. It could flop and I’ll need you to pick me up.” tom says.
“I’d be right there, but there is no way it will flop if you’ll be shirtless.” I say laughing.
“Maybe once or twice. I saw the costume designs this week, they’re pretty cool.” Tom says.
“I’m really proud of you. I know how much you want this.” I say and give him a big kiss.
For a moment the world stops and we both enjoy the kissing. It is so good to feel wanted. I’ve felt so rejected and lost without Alexander. It doesn’t even feel like cheating, it feels pretty right.
“Just friends my ass.” Blondie says walking in.
“Deja vu.” Tom says.
“What?” Blondie says.
“Eric said similar.” I say laughing.
“Holy shit it really is you.” Blondie says stunned.
“Tom this is Gary, we call him Blondie even though his hair is now blue. Blondie this is Tom. My friend Tom.” I say.
They shake hands and look each other over warily. Blondie is just like he was before Ray. He was ultra-protective of Eric and Alexander back then and didn’t seem to like me or Jay. Now of course I’m a lot more likeable and he is loyal, smart and funny. He still has a boatload of kinky sex but he’s not letting it take over his life this time.
I can really see why he and Alexander used to be so close.
“Blondie is one of the few people who actually called when Alexander left. He and Alexander used to be close friends freshman year.” I explain.
“Until I fucked it up fucking Jay.” Blondie laughs.
“That Jay is a piece of work. Peter has told me all the sordid backstory of your group so I knew he’s been a dick but I try not to judge someone before I meet them. A couple of weeks ago a date asked me to go to a dinner with him. I didn’t know until I got there that it was at Mart and John’s place. I think my date was pretty put out that I knew the hosts better than he did and pretty much ditched me at that point. So I am sat near Jay at dinner and John points out that we both know Alexander. Anyway Jay goes off on one about the times Alexander cheated on him, I somehow held my tongue and then asked him why he had fucked around on Alexander and stolen his boyfriend. Total silence. He then went on about how worried he was and how much he missed him as if he hadn’t spent ages assassinating his character.” Tom says laughing.
“Such a dick. How are Mart and John?” I ask.
“They are so happy together. Retirement is suiting them, their health is better. They do one day a week to keep their hand in and that keeps them happy. They love that having Jay around, makes them a family and to be fair I think he treats them well. They are worried about you and Alexander though.” Tom says.
“I do call them every week.” I say.
“I loved those two when I met them. Total relationship goals.” Blondie says.
“Why did you fuck Jay that time?” I ask curious.
“I had a huge crush on Jay. I’d been single since Brian, very horny and Jay is totally my type. I was mad at Alexander that he had hidden being Sandy Green for so long and I was also mad that he never wanted sex with me only ever oral. I felt like he had everything he ever wanted and always got his way. I know, I know that wasn’t true and I’d helped him through really rough times. But at that time in that hotel I did feel that way. Jay and I had been talking over break and I went for it. I didn’t really think about what losing my best friend meant.” Blondie says honestly.
“I didn’t know you had a crush on Jay.” I say.
“Skinny nerds are always my type. Luckily lots of them got bullied in high school by guys like you and so are happy to be with chubsters like me.” Blondie laughs.
“I thought it was all about the money with you. You seemed so entitled, with your scholarship and everything, like everyone owed you.” I say.
“Shit really? I worked fucking hard for the scholarship. Hardly anyone from my high school goes to four year college, no one has ever been here, the town businesses were falling over themselves to top up my funding so I didn’t have to do work study. They even donated air miles to get my parents here for parents weekend and to get me home for thanksgiving. I appreciate all of it. Yes I take what I’m offered and go after what I can get, from anyone. I’ll never feel shame for taking charity like others do but I don’t feel entitled to it.” Blondie says calmly.
“I’m sorry. I guess we have totally different backgrounds.” I say.
“Own your luck. I’m from a big family who had no money and it was very tough for me in high school. But I made it out and I’m grateful to every person who helped.” Blondie says.
“Pete said he’s been helping you work out, you’ll not be chubby for long, I can see you’ve some muscle under there.” Tom says bringing us back to safer topics.
“Yeah he’s helping. I love the lifting, tolerate the cardio and hate the diet with the fire of a thousand suns.” Blondie says.
As we’ve been talking I’ve made us all veggie and egg white omelets.
“Blondie’s mom is a great cook and sends him care packages all the time. I make him freeze all of it and only let him have any on cheat days. I let the others eat it too.” I say.
“That is so mean.” Tom says.
“I know and I’m supposed to be the dominant one and he’s the submissive masochist.” Blondie says.
I blush a little.
“I’m not so submissive.” I say laughing it off.
“Wow I’m learning things today.” Tom says.
“I still can’t get over Jay badmouthing Alexander. Without him all he’d have is student debt. If Alexander turns up dead I’d put money on Jay being the murderer.” Blondie says.
“He’s not dead.” I say quietly.
“You don’t know for sure.” Tom says quietly.
“I do know.” I say.
“You need to be prepared.” Tom says.
“What are you guys up to today?” Blondie asks lightening things up.
“Booze run and groceries if Tom doesn’t mind the domestic stuff then chillin’ and just getting ready for tonight.” I say.
“I’m happy with normality. I guess you baby boy need me to get the drink.” Tom says and I grin.
We hang out all day chatting and doing some chores. We work out together and make out too. I feel so content with Tom, so safe.
In the evening I start to get ready for the party, making sure the drinks are chilled and we have supplies and towels for later.
The place is pretty clean, given it was done yesterday it should be. I wish Alexander was here, he loved hosting even though he rarely had the best time. I feel close to him tonight, like he’s here. Shit I hope that doesn’t mean he isn’t coming back. That he’s dead. I run cold. Maybe I do need to be prepared.
I hug Tom close.
“Thanks for saving me this summer. Not just when Alexander left but in London too. You hardly knew me but went out your way to help me.” I say.
“You were worth saving.” Tom says and kisses my cheek.
I let Harry and Bobbie in and introduce them to Tom. Felix and Troy come in and everyone starts mixing. It is slightly awkward when Eric arrives, he is still not comfortable with Bobbie and Harry.
I keep busy passing out drinks and listening to people but I feel very much on the edge. Tom keeps seeking me out and we chat some. I drink a lot. The gap where alexander should be feels huge tonight.
As predicted once we’re all drunk Felix announces its truth or dare time.
“As we’ve some newbies we need to get to know better it has to be truth or dare. Dares must be sexual in nature. Also none of this leaves this room. None of us want to go through what Peter has and his nudes were fake.” Felix says.
We all groan pretending we don’t want to do this but we’re all eager.
I double check for towels, condoms and lube and pass out more drinks.
I smile at the scene and wish Alexander was here.
“All ready? I’m going first.” Felix says and we all laugh.
“Okay Tom, truth or dare?” Felix asks.
“Truth, I’m not risking a dare yet.” Tom says grinning. He’s a good sport playing along with us kids.
“Who is better in bed Peter or Max?” Felix asks.
“How did you know about Max or did I just confirm it, shit. In any case Peter, obviously, nothing sexier than a big dicked top who really knows what he’s doing.” Tom says grinning.
I laugh and kiss Tom’s cheek.
“Wait I thought you didn’t last night.” Felix says,
“One question Felix.” I say laughing.
“Troy truth or dare?” Tom asks laughing.
“Wait why me?” Troy asks.
“You’re new too apparently.” Tom says.
“Truth.” Troy says.
“Are you and Felix sharing a bed every night?” Tom asks.
I look at them surprised. How self-absorbed am I? I know I’ve talked to Felix about dating but I had no clue about him and Troy.
“Not fulltime. We both see other people.” Troy says beet red.
I look at Felix and he shrugs.
“Come on babe, your turn.” Felix says.
“Uh Blondie truth or dare?” Troy says.
“Dare.” Blondie replies.
“I dare you to kiss Eric.” Troy says unsure.
The two guys shrug and stand and make out a little, it’s weird but kind of hot too.
“Tom truth or dare?” Blondie asks when done.
“How is it me again already?” Tom laughs.
“It just is.” Blondie says.
“Go on then. Dare.” Tom says.
“I dare you to spank Peter.” Blondie says grinning.
Tom looks surprised. I’m shocked and excited.
“Ramping things up fast.” I say.
“How many?” Tom asks.
“20.” Blondie replies.
I stand up and slip out of my jeans. Tom stands too and puts his hands on my shoulders.
“You okay with this?” Tom whispers in my ear.
“Last night you were very disappointing not fucking me.” Tom whispers.
I nod again and look down, slipping away.
Tom sits and motions for me to lie over his knee. I’m getting hard. The world slips away.
Tom is firm, I don’t feel it, I don’t notice I’m in a room full of my friends. It’s just me and Tom. Then he stops. It’s over.
I’m hard and wet. Tom pulls me into his lap and we kiss, he runs his hand over my bulging cock, pushing the waistband of my underwear down and letting it spring free. We kiss a little more forgetting the others.
“So fucking hot.” Blondie says.
“Fuck that’s a monster Peter.” Troy says.
“Brian truth or dare?” Tom says, surprising me, I’d forgotten the game. I slip from his lap and snuggle close.
“Truth.” Brian says.
“Aww things were getting going.” Felix complains.
“When did you set your sights on Jamie?” Tom asks. I’d told Tom of all the house dramas when I stayed with him this summer but I’m surprised he went there.
“Yes why did you steal my boyfriend?” Felix laughs.
“After Eric dumped me Jamie and Peter took care of me, Jamie was heartbroken too and Peter was struggling with long distance but they both put a lot of energy into me. I was a bit in love with them both, Jamie was straight and Peter way, way out of my league.” Brian begins.
“I’m not out of anyone’s league.” I say upset Brian sees me as shallow.
“Yeah you are snuggled up to a TV star and date a movie star you are not one of us.” Brian says.
“I’ve dated all sorts of guys. If I’d been single I’d have been more than a bit interested.” I say still annoyed.
“Get to the boyfriend stealing part.” Felix complains.
“Once I came out of the fog of my Blondie breakup I came into the kitchen and saw Jamie and my heart skipped. We started hanging out a lot. We jerked off together out of horny frustration. Felix okayed that. It progressed to making out a lot while jerking each other and then to just making out. I was his, he broke up with Felix and was free to be mine. I love him. I’m sorry for not waiting, I just fell for him so hard.” Brian says quietly.
“So you took full advantage of his loneliness.” Felix says.
“Yeah maybe. I never thought anything would really happen, he always said he liked Felix not men in general.” Brian says.
“I was fucking with you, I told you I’m okay with it.” Felix says.
“Jamie truth or dare?” Brian asks.
“Truth.” Jamie says quietly.
“When did you know you were into guys?” Brian asks.
Tonight is full of surprises, surely Brian could have asked Jamie in private.
“I guess I’d been in denial a while. Maybe since freshman year, But the first time I thought about being with a guy was Alexander.” Jamie says.
We all stare at him shocked, including Felix.
“Remember he promised me three dates and a bj? And if the girls didn’t put out he’d suck me? Well that got me really excited. I’d not thought of doing anything with a man until then even with Felix getting up to allsorts with me in the room. I was pretty disappointed when that girl put out but then I met Emma and I forgot about it.” Jamie admits.
“That summer did you think of me or Brian then?” I ask.
“No, I was in a breakup mess. Then I started seeing another girl but she was frustrating. I was jealous of how despite the drama most your relationships were straight forward. Then Felix kissed me and everything changed.” Jamie says laughing.
“I was the super convertor.” Felix shouts standing and helicoptering his dick. I’ve no idea when he stripped off.
“Harry truth or dare?” Jamie asks.
“It’s all a bit heavy. Dare.” Harry replies.
“Kiss Felix, he’s always liked you.” Jamie says.
Felix bounces over to Harry and they start making out. It seems to be the cue for everyone, lips are on lips, mouths on cocks, fingers in holes all around me.
“Is it okay if?” Tom asks.
“Go have fun, Fuck my friends, Use my bed I’ll sleep downstairs,” I say kissing him.
As my friends take advantage of one night of partner swapping, I slip downstairs and make a bed on the basement sofa. I dream of my love as always. Nothing upstairs compares to him.