Alexander’s first year of grad school is tough. He has given himself a high mountain to climb at a fast rate. Between his classes, study groups, research and teaching duties he has little time for me. He makes a huge effort though. He really makes sure I don’t feel unloved or forgotten. Morning sex, bring home takeout when he’s late and knows I’ve been busy studying too. Making sure we have one date in the week and he tries as hard as he can to keep one day a weekend free for us.
I try and keep him happy and loved too. I am so crazy about him that it’s easy for me. All I want is for us to be happy together forever. I ache to marry him, to call him my husband. I know he won’t commit yet, he wants to see how we cope when I’m done with school. I’m ready when he is.
We enjoy living with just Eric and Jamie, they are as close as we are. The others visit from time to time.
We host Mom and Abigail for a week at Christmas as Peter doesn’t want to take any time off. It is pretty stressful but really rewarding. We have a great dinner and spend a lot of snowy days playing scrabble and sharing stories. Mom and Abigail hit it off straight away, I feel I have 2 adoptive moms at times which is amazing.
A little after Christmas I hear I’m being offered a major action film role. I really want to take it but it is the worst possible option for my relationship. It isn’t just one movie, all being well it will be three, filming in New Zealand. I’d be away for 5 or 6 months at a time.
I’d love to work in New Zealand I have heard how friendly film crews are down there. I really want to work with the director, we met in London and talked about another project I was interested in. We got on so well and I know I would be stretched. I’d be able to give Peter the space he needs to work and by the time I finish the movies he would be close to finished too and we could start our life together properly.
“So I have your blessing?” I ask Peter after explaining my reasons.
“It’s not what we’ve talked about. You hate that sort of pressure and all the publicity. Are you sure you want to? Are you sure you won’t get sick?” Peter asks.
“It’s a great offer. Great money. I really want to work with the director and it’s not like I have any other offers.” I say.
“But there’s no rush and money shouldn’t influence you, you have loads. I don’t understand spending all that time doing the sort of work you don’t want to.” Peter says.
“I do want to do it. If it comes off I’ll be able to do anything I want to. I’ll be able to produce myself.” I say.
“I’d never stop you from doing your career, I just need to know you’ve really thought about it.” Peter says.
“You’re so busy you won’t notice I’m gone.” I say laughing.
“I’d miss you every second.” Peter says quietly.
I take the job, I don’t feel like I can turn it down.
We spend spring break on the island. Peter doesn’t really want to go away and so we compromise that he will spend some of each day working. I spend time fishing or working on repairs while he’s busy.
Having proper time alone is a real help. We love being nude all the time and I love that we can sleep in every day. I love having Peter’s full attention every evening. I love him. Peter soon relaxes and becomes super loving and attentive. He cooks a lot and fusses round me trying to look after me.
I let him. I know he’s found it hard this year not having more time.
We reluctantly go back to school, making plans to return when we can.
The week of my graduation Peter is quite agitated, his classes are over so he should have more time but he isn’t home much. I’ve been sorting my things, packing things up and sorting what I need to take to the shoot.
It’s rough on him knowing I’ll be gone, but he has his friends here and his work.
Then he springs a huge surprise on me and his mood and unavailability make sense. He has organised a big graduation dinner for me as a surprise. I didn’t get to celebrate high school graduation and so this is a huge deal to me. Abigail, Mom, John and Mart and all our friends are there. Mamma Cat has catered and stays to eat with us too. It is perfect.
I can’t believe he pulled it off without me guessing a thing. He is amazing.
“I love you baby. Thanks everyone for coming and celebrating with me. It’s going to be a good while before I see any of you again so I really appreciate you being here today. Without a family I don’t get to do this kind of thing. But here I have two adopted Moms in Mom and Abigail and Mart and John are family too and the rest of you hangers on. Well you help fill the time.” I grin.
I look at Peter and I’m so full of love for him. He looks up at me and his smile takes my breath away but he doesn’t say anything. I was hoping he had everyone here to propose, I thought maybe that was why he was so antsy the last few days. I wish I had been prepared to it would have been perfect but I had no idea everyone would be here.
Once the oldies head off to our hotels we former housemates all sit around talking about how we first met. About Eric and Blondie braving it to say hello to us after seeing me and Jay. How I befriended Jamie and Felix to get access to a car. I was a dick. I’ve really changed.
Peter leads me to bed and fills me over and over. I cling to him. I taste him all over trying to commit all of him to memory. That I’m leaving is suddenly hitting me hard. The reality of not waking up with Peter in two days time is unbearable.
The next morning we are all having coffee outside everyone is leaving or heading out for the day leaving Peter and I alone for our last day.
“Thank you so much for organising this. I can’t believe you found the time.” I say.
“It wasn’t hard. My classes are over.” Peter replies.
“It took a lot of effort, don’t down play it. You are amazing, I am going to miss you so much.” I say kissing Peter gently on the nose.
“I’m sorry baby. I just can’t do this.” Peter says quietly.
“What?” I ask confused.
“I can’t do long distance again. It’s over.” Peter says.
“No baby. No. You love me. It’s not over.” I say in complete shock.
I move towards him, pushing my lips against his forcing them open with my tongue. Feeling all his love and his pain.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I should have done this earlier but I wanted extra time with you. I wanted to hold on to you.” Peter says tears falling down his face.
“We have one more day. Please baby just one more day.”