I wake feeling hot and sticky. I realise Peter’s chest is my pillow, I smile and snuggle closer the discomfort instantly melting away.
“Still love me?” Peter asks quietly stroking my hair.
“Still want me back?” I ask just as quietly.
“Still taking me back?” Peter asks.
“One night with you has changed everything. I will never let you go again. I’m all yours.” I say as I kiss Peter over and over.
I slept so well in his arms. I hoped I would but I didn’t expect the reality to live up to expectations. A night in his arms is everything to me and I could never, ever voluntarily give him up again.
I loved every minute with him yesterday until the Jorge implosion. Every minute I was falling deeper and deeper back into him. I feel like after 5 lonely years I am finally able to be myself, the self that is totally, utterly in love with Peter.
“Let’s go for a run then I’ll make lunch.” Peter says making the day normal, minimising our monumental choice.
Peter lends me some running clothes, the shorts are a little tight but we both like that. Peter takes us on a pretty challenging route which has me sweating like crazy. We run downhill to the sea and Peter strips down to his shorts as he goes and runs into the sea, I follow quickly after him.
We swim a little and then mess around splashing and throwing each other. Having fun. We dress and dry off as we run back to the house.
“Wanna have me in the shower?” Peter asks.
“No, now, out here.” I say grinning and pulling his top off.
I kiss his salty face and run my tongue down his neck to his pecs. I’m screaming inside I’m so happy, I cannot believe this is real. I bury my face in his armpit and breathe deeply before licking tentatively at first then letting go.
“Arrrgh you’re so fucking sexy.” I groan. I’m stiff as can be.
“You too baby.” Peter grins at me.
I’m just so excited to be with him, I can’t control myself as we sink to the floor and continue making out. I lick him all over, take him in my mouth grinding against his leg as I suck him deep.
“Fuck baby that’s so good.” Peter moans. His big cock is pulsing for me and I try and take what I can. I need him to fill my throat.
I bust my load all over him 6 good shots. He looks at me and grins as I look up bewildered. I return to his cock and bob away until he gives up his juice. I lick my lips then lick his head clean.
I lie on him for a moment trying to get the strength to stand again. Fuck.
“You okay baby?” Peter asks laughing.
“I was just too excited. You taste too fucking good.” I pant.
“It was beautiful baby.” Peter says softly.
He gets up then helps me up and we shower together taking our time. A lot of kissing. Oh it’s amazing to wake up with someone I’m so attracted to and not have to keep my hands to myself.
We get dressed and Peter starts cooking. I help out making a salad and slicing bread. We stop and kiss and touch every few seconds, we need to feel connected all the time.
“I love that you still love to cook.” I say.
“Do you?” Peter asks.
“Yeah when I can. It was hard on location, sometimes I’d get an apartment or suite with cooking facilities. Something to keep me grounded.” I say.
“You’ll take your turn tomorrow.” Peter says smiling.
“Yup, I haven’t really had a chance to kit out my kitchen. I don’t have to now I can just use your stuff, if we’re going to live together we can just merge and see what we still need.” I say.
“That sounds like a dream.” Peter says grinning.
“It’s going to be our life baby, wherever we live it’ll be together, one set of kitchen things.” I say.
I sit down and Peter puts the food in front of me.
“Have you anything on this week?” Peter asks.
“Nothing I can’t move around.” I say honestly.
“I’m off for 2 weeks, the end of next week I have to go to LA for TV interviews. I need to go to the clinic tomorrow and we’ll need supplies.” Peter says.
“Okay. I can move my meetings to the days you’re in LA and you better get me an audience ticket.” I say.
“You want to come watch?” Peter asks.
“Of course. It’ll be a nice change to watch you baby.” I say.
“I know you want to take things slow but it feels like you woke up going full speed.” Peter says.
“Yeah, I meant it, a night with you changes everything. I remembered everything I was missing and I hate taking advantage when you’re vulnerable but I don’t want to go slow I want to be yours, now and always.” I say.
“So you’re in?” Peter asks.
“Yes!” I say firmly.
“Thank-you.” Peter says quietly.
I stand and kiss his neck and shoulders. I realise this means just as much to him as it does to me. He isn’t just reacting to his breakup or bad luck with guys. He really wants this.
Our time apart and missteps have shown us exactly what we want from a relationship we barely need to have that talk. We both want to take care of each other and have a quiet life together. I know our careers will make that hard but I know we’re both ready to fight for it.
I can’t believe it has been less than a day, that yesterday Peter was in full breakdown mode and today he’s my Peter again, taking care of me, showing me he loves me with every breath. He is such a good man and I am so lucky.
“Thanks for lunch.” I say.
“Anything for you. I loved coking for someone who enjoys eating it. You are the fussiest eater I know so it really means something to me when you enjoy it.” Peter says.
“I always ate your food and loved it. I loved that summer where we learnt to cook better.” I say.
“I loved all my time with you. Even the difficult parts, because we got better at getting through them. Until I threw us away.” Peter says.
“But you’ve pulled us back together. Thanks for being so tenacious last night. It is too soon, it still feels crazy but it feels so good to be yours.” I say.
“It doesn’t feel crazy to me. I know I’m like in the middle of a break up and you’re worried if I am sincere or just reacting to what has happened. You need to know I am for real and I am in for as long as you want me.” Peter says making my smile uncontrollably.
We clear up from lunch and settle on the sofa together. We both have a strong need to just be together, just us. I’ve missed this so much. Every moment with him reminds me of how much I have missed him. How on earth could I have thought I was over him enough to get married? Why couldn’t I let him in? I am so stupid, being in his life was the only way to get him back.
“You’re my brave, strong Peter. Letting me in after I’ve been so stupid, being open to us even though you’ve just been hurt. You’re amazing. You make me strong too.” I say.
Peter stiffens a little and loosens his grip on my chest. We’re laid next to each other on our sides, me in front. Having a tall boyfriend who has bought furniture for our length is amazing.
“What’s up?” I ask a little worried about what I’ve done wrong, what has upset him.
“I need to tell you something. I’ve not been very strong recently and I am a bit scared to tell you.” Peter says quietly. I turn my head back to kiss him.
“Peter we might have only had a day together but I know you are still you. You are strong and brave. You were upset yesterday and sure you frightened me a bit but you pushed through.” I say.
“I’m not talking about yesterday. Shit. I need to tell you this so you can get out now.” Peter says quietly.
“Baby I am going nowhere.” I say as Peter nuzzles my neck and kisses my ear. I relax a little at his gesture.
“I lied to you after the dinner.” Peter says and takes a deep breath.
“Okay.” I say quietly unsure what he means.
“When I was coming out here, when I heard the announcement about you and Eric I turned the car and drove it into a tree. I wanted everything to be over. I wasn’t in a motel crying for 3 days I was on a psych ward on a seventy two hour hold. Mom and Tom had to come and get me and sort treatment for me here. I gave up. I wasn’t strong at all. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Peter cries, his tears hitting my neck and back.
My blood runs cold I was so close to really losing him. I had no idea things had been so bad.
“Baby, why didn’t anyone tell me? I would have been there.” I say trying to wriggle round to face him.
I kiss away his tears and then it hits me.
“Shit, mom tried to tell me and I wouldn’t listen. She begged me to talk to you. I was so proud of myself for moving on and getting engaged I thought there was nothing I needed from you. I had no idea you needed me, that she was asking because you were ill not because you were upset. Oh baby I am so sorry.” I say joining with his tears.
I hold him close as we let it out. Fuck, fuck, fuck how could I have let this happen. I think about how I would have felt if I’d heard the same about him, I’d have been unhappy but it wouldn’t be unexpected Peter is so great everyone should want him. But he was on his way to get me and he bought those rings, in his head we were heading for marriage and I fucked up his plans.
“We’re you hurt from the crash? Are you doing okay now?” I ask, finally remembering it is not about me.
“Just a few bruises unfortunately, nothing major.” Peter says.
“Unfortunately? Do you still wish you were hurt?” I ask terrified.
“No, no. When it happened yes I was upset I was okay. It was good it was just the car that was hurt and not me. Gave mom and Tom less to worry about.” Peter says.
“I’m glad Tom was able to be there and wasn’t working.” I say genuinely glad Peter has had one consistent good friend.
“He was working. I was calling him every night to let him know where I was and I didn’t call so he spoke to Mom and they tracked me down, sorted the car and got me back out here, I stayed with Tom for a while.” Peter says quietly.
“And you’re doing better now? You’re down on yourself but not that low?” I ask.
“I’m going to therapy, I know you never liked it but it is good for me. I’m dealing with everything we brushed away before.” Peter says.
“Good. You always moved forward so well, I guess we both ignored how much you pushed things down. I’m happy you’re getting help. I’m super mad at myself for not being there. Please don’t hide anything from me. You know you can share anything with me and I won’t judge or belittle you. I love you so much and you’ve just given me a huge reality check. I didn’t spend any time thinking about things from your point of view, I’ve been so selfish.” I say feeling utterly shit. How could I have not known? Why didn’t anyone pull my head out my ass?
“Same to you. We need to be open this time.” Peter says quietly.
“We do. Thanks for telling me. I don’t love you any less. I could never.” I say.
“I need you baby. I’m sorry if I’m being needy. I know this is a lot given we’re just starting. I just needed you to know before you were in too deep so you could walk away.” Peter says.
“I would never, fuck you looked after me when I was sick and when I wasn’t. I just feel so guilty that I added to your problems. I should have been more forceful, you should never have found out how you did.” I say.
“It wouldn’t have mattered how I found out. It wasn’t that you were getting married so much as I didn’t have a plan b. I had no idea what I was going to do. I’d pushed myself so much at work and with my book and my only other focus was on winning you back and when I failed I couldn’t take it. I just didn’t want to start over.” Peter says.
“Plan A was a good plan. Working yourself to the edge wasn’t. Did Brian and Jamie not notice? Did no one try and stop you or discourage you?” I ask.
“No, they’d tried over the years to get me to take you back, so many interventions. They were all for it. To be fair although we thawed our fight after Blondie I was never close to those guys again, only Felix and he thought it was about time. We all thought you and Eric were broken up.” Peter says.
“We were. You seemed to bounce back pretty fast, all those dates even without success and you wrote some really good papers here.” I say.
“I had to move on, therapy and the medication helped. You were no longer there in the back of my mind as my safety net. I let myself mope for a while then I went for it. No doubt the wedding set me back a bit but after, after things didn’t work out with Tom I felt I finally had a clean slate. Of course it wasn’t real. I was still in love with you deep down. I never stopped, seeing you at the dinner totally threw me. I think I maybe went over the top with Jorge after to prove to myself it wasn’t real that he was my future. But yesterday running in to you, I don’t know, it felt so real, so naturel. We both felt it we were making every excuse to spend more time together, to hug and show affection, you broke that side of me wide open in seconds.” Peter says.
“I know it was crazy. The dinner threw me too. I was clearly nowhere near close to over you. Those rings gave me so much hope. I was so jealous of Jorge, the way he stood up for you, I thought you adored each other. I loved you, I’d been so closed off and that time with you made me feel everything again. I knew exactly what a poor choice I’d made, how little I’d settled for.” I say.
“Now we have everything.” Peter says smiling.
“We do. I hate how hurt you have been and I know I’m not a magic potion but I think together we’ll be amazing, strong and happy.” I say.
“And horny all the time.” Peter laughs.
“Yes okay I’m hard even though you’ve been telling me about terrible, terrible events in your life. You’re still so fucking hot and sexy with tears drying on your face.” I say.
“It means everything to me that you desire me. That I make you feel like this.” Peter says.
“What do you mean? You’re hot babe, so hot, I bet you give boners to loads of guys.” I say.
“With Jorge he wanted me when he was horny, I didn’t make him horny. We never just snuggled watching TV or in bed and got each other going.” Peter says breaking my heart again.
“No more worries of that, you just have to smile at me and I’m good to go. I’m not promising I’ll always be ready when you are but fuck, I have missed you so much physically. You used to tell me how you dreamed of me when I was on the island and it felt real, I’d often dream of you in the same way. Wake up wondering where you were.” I say.
“I know that feeling. Sometimes I wouldn’t even be aware of the dream or what I was missing when I woke up.” Peter says.
“I love that we have such a strong connection. I love how you could see through your pain to me last night.” I say.
“You were always mine. I feel so much better knowing that. Even though you got married I never really lost you.” Peter says.
“I like to think that. I never truly lost you, our connection was always there.” I say and we start kissing passionately.
“I need the bathroom, make yourself comfortable.” Peter says.
I am comfortable here. I love Peter’s place it already feels like home. Whether we end up here or at my place or somewhere else it doesn’t matter, together is amazing. My publicist calls while I wait for Peter, we’ve made the gossip sites already.
“Look.” I say to Peter as he comes back in.
I show him 2 sets of pictures on my phone. One lot are of us in the market and the others at dinner, fortunately before it all went wrong.
“We look good together. They’re nice pictures. It’s creepy as fuck as we didn’t see them being taken but I like them.” Peter says.
“We do look good. I like the market ones, we weren’t together but we look so naturel, a total couple.” I say.
“It is how we secretly felt isn’t it?” Peter asks softly.
“I was hoping. I thought it impossible but we’re here and I love you like crazy.” I say.
“You make me so happy. We best call mom though as these are out there.” Peter says.
“Good idea. I told my publicist that we were just friends, is that okay? I just thought as you were still with Jorge when they were taken.” I say.
“That’s good, I want to keep this as just us for a bit. Not to hide you but because we’re still getting used to it.” Peter says.
“I love our love bubble.” I say.
“I love you.” Peter says and grabs the tablet to call mom.
“Oh my goodness my boys are back together. You make me so happy.” Mom says.
“We can’t hide it baby she saw it all over our faces.” I say.
“It makes a change to see you both happy. I’ve been so worried about both of you. Alexander you mustn’t leave it so long next time. I know we fought but families fight and still love each other.” Mom says.
“I’m so sorry and I’m sorry for not listening to you when Peter needed me. I’ve been a total fool but I promise I will never let him or you down again.” I say.
“Water under the bridge. Make sure you take care of each other. Oh gosh I am relieved. What happened with Jorge?” Mom asks.
“He was cheating, for ages. I found out yesterday when Alexander and I were at dinner.” Peter says.
“Well I never liked him he was too high maintenance and so cold with me. Alexander thank you for being there for Peter when he found out.” Mom says.
“I couldn’t leave him. The minute I saw him in the market yesterday I knew I couldn’t stay away any more. I wouldn’t have made a move with Jorge in the picture and I took some convincing once he wasn’t but after an amazing night sleep I woke up and knew that what we have is all I want.” I say.
“Me too mom, I’m so happy, I didn’t know I was unhappy with Jorge, I knew it was work, I didn’t know how down it had made me. Alexander makes me so happy. He doesn’t demand anything from me. I can be myself completely.” Peter says sending a zing of joy through me.
“I’m so glad you told me. That you’re ready to share already.” Mom says.
“There are pictures out already from yesterday, so we had to call. I wanted you to know too, maybe not quite so soon.” Peter says sending mom the link.
“Oh those are lovely pictures. You best call your father too.” Mom says.
We say our goodbyes and Peter calls his dad. I massage his shoulders as he does so. Their relationship is better than it was but they never quite regained their closeness.
Once they finish I start kissing Peter’s neck. He turns and kisses me hard. I love him so much. I want to melt into him.
“Come to bed I need you.” Peter breathes into my ear. I groan I want him so much, so, so much.
We take our time undressing each other, kissing touching and just looking at each other. Each time I see him naked I can’t help but swoon. He is so beautiful, his body so defined but smaller than before, so sexy, his long legs, his veined always leaking cock all turn me on. But mostly his mouth gently against my skin making every pore sing that tells me this is all I ever dreamed of.
My fingers run up and down his crack and I push him back on the bed and dive right in with my tongue. I am rewarded with the most guttural groans from Peter. I’m as hard as I have ever been. I tease and explore and his cries of pleasure turn me on so much.
“Fuck me.” Peter says trying to pull my head up, I resist and continue to probe him a little more.
“Please baby, I need you in me.” Peter groans. I look up and smile.
He kisses me not caring where I’ve just been and rolls a condom on me. I sigh, hating his cheating shit of a boyfriend. Though maybe It will slow me down. I try and finger him a little, he’s super tight but totally relaxed and happy.
“Just fuck me, I’ll be fine, I want it so much.” Peter groans.
I can’t disappoint him. His legs high in the air I begin to push in, he’s so tight and I’m super slow. His face is sheer joy as I look down at him. He kisses me as I hold still halfway inside him.
“More baby, more.” He whispers and kisses me more. I kiss him back and he looks at me so passionately, with so much longing I can’t believe my luck. As I begin to move gently he groans and pulls me close again, he needs us to be touching as much as we can. Oh hell so do I.
“Fuck you feel so good my love.” I moan as I pick up speed.
He curls his toes and groans some more. His face is sheer bliss. He’s all mine, I own him entirely. We rock together, he bites my shoulder and we cum together gasping in delight and shock.
“All mine, you are all mine.” I groan, I cling to him tightly, not wanting to pull out.
“No one else ever.” Peter whispers in my ear.
“Rule one.” I whisper back.
“I love you baby. Thank-you.” Peter says stroking my back clinging to me.
“I love you so much.” I say slipping out and cleaning up a little. Peter climbs on top of me as I lie back down and I wrap my arms around him.
“It’ll work this time baby.” Peter says.
“It has to. No one can make me feel like you.” I say enjoying the full weight of my man.