Role reversal

“How is it possible to feel so satisfied and yet want to go again right away? I cannot get enough of you.” Peter says propped up on his elbow looking at me all sexy and sweaty.

 

“However much you want to go again I can’t. You have worn me out you sexy scamp.” I say laughing.

 

“I don’t need anything, anyone but you. It felt so good baby. So, so good. You are incredible for me.” Peter says stroking me lightly.

 

“You mean it?” I ask, I always have that sliver of insecurity that I’m not what he wants sexually, however good it is.

 

“Yes I mean it. I only ever want you. I’ve tried other things, other relationships but I am never happier than when I am with you. I love sex with you, all our loving is great for me, and you know that.” Peter says.

 

“Good to hear. It’ll always be a sneaky thought in my head.” I admit.

 

“Well I’m glad you told me. We need to talk about all our fears, always.” Peter says.

 

“I know. I really know that. I hope you will talk to me too.” I say.

 

“I will. I promise. I love you. My biggest worry is losing you.” Peter says.

 

“Well that just isn’t happening.” I say.

 

“We best get on the road. Drive through breakfast?” Peter asks.

 

“Sure lets shower.” I say.

 

We are soon on the road heading back to LA, Peter has 2 chat shows to tape and we both have meetings with our agents. I look over at Peter driving my car just like old times. Still can’t believe my luck. Over the last week and a half I have kept pinching myself to check it is all real.

 

“I used to dream of you a lot. It’s funny most the time you lie on me to sleep or you’re the little spoon but I’d dream that I was that you were protecting me in your arms. I don’t know what from, I’d wake up disappointed you weren’t there.” Peter says.

 

“Really? I know you always had some love for me but I thought you did the best job of moving on, of living without me.” I say.

 

“I was better at faking it. Hiding it.” Peter says.

 

“I love how relaxed we’ve been this last week. It’s the most relaxed I’ve been since the island.” I say.

 

“You had a freaking honeymoon in the Maldives, surely that was relaxing.” Peter exclaims.

 

“Kind of. It was a beautiful place and I enjoyed it in parts but Eric wanted to be super public so it was exhausting being in Sandy mode for most of the time. I wanted to please him, I wanted things to start off so well. How come we both went from being selfish please ourselves guys, to utter doormats for guys who didn’t appreciate it?” I ask.

 

“I don’t know. Karma for treating others like shit? Maybe we just loved doing things for each other as it made us so happy that we carried on forgetting other guys will happily take just like we used to.” Peter says.

 

“I do love doing things for you. I can’t wait for you to be back from tour so I can spoil you.” I say.

 

“I’m looking forward to being spoiled. You should think about what you want from me too.” Peter says.

 

“I just need to be married to you when you’re ready.” I say.

 

“How do you go from it’s too soon, to take it slow, to let’s get married in under 2 weeks? Baby you are crazy.” Peter says laughing at me.

 

“I’m being upfront. I hope it’s not too much pressure or too full on. I know its fast but it isn’t. You were ready a year ago, I was ready 5 years ago.” I say.

r

“I like hearing it. I’m not going to run away because you’re being honest. I just worry that you think I’m that guy from 5 years ago and you’re wanting to commit without getting to know the current me properly. You might find me too needy, too weak, too much hard work for forever.” Peter says.

 

“Stop it. I love you. I loved you then and I love you now even with your lack of self-esteem and short hair.” I say laughing.

 

“You’re really not going to get used to my hair.” Peter says laughing too.

 

“You all ready for these interviews?” I ask.

 

“What should I say if they ask about us? No comment, just friends or the truth?” Peter asks.

 

“Whatever you think is best. I won’t complain.” I say honestly.

 

“I used to like it when you said how happy you were with me in interviews. If they ask I’ll say we’re together if you’re truly okay with that.” Peter says.

 

“I am as long as you’re sure. Remember how crazy it got before?” I say.

 

“I know but whatever I say in a couple of months we’re going to be seen everywhere together. I’ll be at your next premiere, we’ll be seen having dinner, running, whatever together. It’ll be less intrusive if we’re upfront rather than being caught out.” Peter says.

 

“And it won’t hurt in helping you sell more books.” I say.

 

“I’m not using you. I am not Eric.” Peter says pouting.

 

“I know. It’ll help me just as much in promoting the movie.” I say worried he thinks I think poorly of him.

 

“Do you need to let Eric know before we go public? Do you need to tell your PR people or Jay? Should I tell Blair? I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.” Peter says.

 

“I don’t know. I suppose I should tell Eric if he hasn’t heard from our friends. The rest I’d rather not, if that’s okay.” I say.

 

“Sure, prepared responses are weird. As long as they don’t call me a liar.” Peter says.

 

“I’ll confirm myself after. I don’t want to jump the gun if it doesn’t come up and I don’t want Blair and Jay coming up with some joint strategy.” I say.

 

“Oh sure, I do not want that either, no offence but I don’t want to be in your shadow on my tour.” Peter says.

 

“Exactly. I’d end up being sued for promoting you and not the movie.” I laugh.

 

We arrive at the hotel, we’re staying here until Peter leaves on Monday, it’s better for him to fly out from here. I am in total denial about the next 2 months. It is scary how attached I am after such a short time. He thinks he is the clingy, needy one but I am. I love how he wants to be close all the time, I do too. I love giving him reassurance, I wish he didn’t need so much but I love being needed. I worry that I like him being broken, that I’ll feel less wanted when he’s feeling better.

 

We shower and change and I call Eric and leave a message. I don’t care too much. He didn’t tell me he was officially dating Max, well not that he needed to, they had been seeing each other since before Eric and I started and they didn’t stop.

 

I was such an idiot. A complete fool. How I ever convinced myself that he loved me and would be a good husband is totally beyond me. I worry about Peter’s self-esteem but mine was in the shitter and I’m doing fine now. I know I deserve a great guy like Peter and all that he gives me. Even a broken Peter is a million times better for me than anyone else could ever be.

 

“You look so handsome.” I say as Peter comes out in a suit of mine.

 

“Am I right to wear it now? Should I just take it to change into so I don’t crease it too much?” Peter asks.

 

“Yeah wear something comfortable and change there. Nice choice though, you look really hot.” I say.

 

“Even with short hair?” Peter asks laughing.

 

“Maybe I’m getting used to it. Or maybe I didn’t even look above the waist.” I laugh.

 

“Pervert.” Peter says.

 

“Guilty. Want a bj to calm you before we go?” I ask.

 

“Let me hang up my suit. Do we have time?” Peter asks.

 

“Depends how quick you are. I might have to finish you in the car.” I grin.

 

“Oh you’re just asking me to take ages.” Peter says stepping out of his clothes and hanging them up carefully.

 

I kneel before him and take his stiffening cock in my mouth my hands kneading at his ass.

 

“That’s good baby.” Peter groans.

 

I’m barely started when the call comes to say the car is here. Peter hurriedly dresses, we grab his suit and run down to the car.

 

“Want more?” I whisper in Peter’s ear in the back of the limo.

 

“Later.” Peter says and kisses me hard.

 

Peter is whisked away to makeup and get dressed. I find Blair and wait with him.

 

“Are you here as a supportive friend or something more?” Blair asks.

 

“As a friend. I’m the friend who knows all this stuff.” I lie just in case Peter changes his mind about going public.

 

“I’m glad he’s back in your life, in whatever capacity. You’re a lot easier to deal with when he’s around.” Blair says.

 

“Hey, I’ve only been back with you guys a few months.” I laugh.

 

“Have you decided to go back to work yet?” Blair asks.

 

“Yes and no. Nothing too big, nothing too far away, nothing for too long. For the next year or so.” I say cautiously.

 

“Nothing too big? Unless it is being filmed locally or at all?” Blair asks.

 

“If it’s local okay but only if it is brilliant. It isn’t like I need to work, I’ve a few films still to come out so my profile won’t fall too far unless they’re flops. I don’t need the money. I need a life.” I say.

 

“Have you told Jay?” Blair asks.

 

“I’m meeting him tomorrow to talk about everything.” I say.

 

“Good. Will you consider overseas advertising?” Blair asks.

 

“No. Unless it’s filmed here. After this next tour I’ll not go overseas for a year.” I say firmly.

 

“Just thought your divorce might have been expensive.” Blair says.

 

“Not at all, I had a great pre-nup. Eric only gets minimal spousal support for a short time.” I say.

 

“Of course, of course.” Blair says.

 

Finally ready we slip into our seats. I’m really proud of Peter that Blair wants to be here and involved. Oh I know he must see dollar signs. I’m not sure how, books don’t make that much money anymore and I’m not sure this sort of non-fiction ever did. I can only assume he thinks Peter is very marketable though I expect he’s anticipating promoting Peter the hero not Peter the scientist.

 

It turns out Peter has 2 slots on the show. He’s filming the first, a showy experiment with the hosts young son first.

 

“This is my son Barnaby, he loves your book and insists on having it for his bedtime read aloud instead of fiction, so I am learning a lot along with him. If you could do a math book to help me relearn that to help with homework I’d be grateful.” The host says and we all laugh politely.

 

The segment goes well. Having Peter talking the kid through most of it is a lot more natural than just talking to camera. The kid is super enthusiastic and precocious, not afraid to ask questions which helps move things along. As it is unrehearsed it goes really well and they only reshoot a couple of parts for angles.

 

“You’ll have a dozen offers for him as soon as this airs.” I say to Blair when filming breaks to set up the interviews.

 

“Peter can be a big star, young, smart and very handsome. He already had the hero hook and now he has this science platform. Every parent watching will buy his book and no doubt we’ll double up his shows on the road, once this airs everything that is currently ticketed will sell out.” Blair says.

 

“So between his work and mine you’re telling me I won’t see him for 2 months.” I say sadly.

 

“Given you’re in Asia for Christmas I don’t think either of you will have time off. Unless you’ll consider joint appearances.” Blair says.

 

“No he needs to establish himself alone on this.” I say resigned to being apart.

 

I barely listen to the first guest, feeling too sorry for myself and unhappy. Then it is Peter’s turn and I brighten up.

 

“We’ve tried to get you on the show a few times before but you always turned us down. What’s changed?” The host asks.

 

“Well I have a book to sell.” Peter says laughing.

 

“I walked into that one. It is a great family book, as I said my son loves it. Are there more to come?” The host asks.

 

“Yes I’ve expanded out each chapter for a full length book, the next one will be about the weather.” Peter says and the camera turns to the kid sat with his thumbs up.

 

“And you are heading out on tour, what can people expect?” The host asks.

 

“I’ll be giving guest lectures at colleges, some on the book, some on my research depending on the audience and I’ll be doing experiments and workshops for families. And of course book signings.” Peter says.

 

“So there will be something for young kids but also college students and adults who want to learn more?” The host asks.

 

“Exactly. I hope whole families come along and I hope to get people excited about science. Lots of people loved science class in middle school but got put off in high school when classes got too hard. I want to de-mystify concepts and open people up to the idea that they can learn and enjoy.” Peter says.

 

“Even though your book is just out you are already a familiar face. How did you meet Sandy Green and Tom Sands?” The host asks.

 

“Sandy and I were in college together and we dated for most of that time. Tom I met through Sandy when we went to see him in a play, we hit it off and became the best of friends. I put up with the photographers and intrusion because they are both great guys and have done so much for me. Let’s be honest it gave my book a head start.” Peter says.

 

“But you were never just arm candy. You caught a stalker in London and took a punch that was replayed around the world. You took that awful beating from a rogue security guard in Sydney, helped capture one of the FBI’s most wanted and my favorite stopped a sperm stealing stalker.” The host says.

 

“You make me sound like some kind of action man, I’m just a research scientist who acts as a good citizen should.” Peter says laughing.

 

“That last one, the sperm stealing stalker. How on earth did that happen?” The host asks.

 

“I have a really good memory for faces and became pretty paranoid spending so much time with Sandy, I was always on high alert when we were in public. One time with friends in a hotel I didn’t like how this one maid was cleaning our room but Tom and Sandy told me I was imagining. Then a month or so later she shows up in another hotel across the country and I called security. I was right, she was not there to change our sheets.” Peter says laughing.

 

“That was amazing, it’s a terrible thing but I could never remember what one hotel employee looked like. I am always polite but I just don’t notice people that well.” The host says.

 

“Usually I wouldn’t, I was just suspicious.” Peter says.

 

“And it was your suspicion that lead to the capture of one of the FBIs most wanted.” The host says.

 

“That came out of tragedy when travelling with Sandy our personal assistant was murdered. Obviously the police spent a lot of time with us after that and they had pictures of a man we’d spent time with saying they wanted to speak to him. Maybe 2 years later we were staying on a boat in England and I spotted him on the next boat, I snapped a picture and sent it to the police back in LA. I didn’t get a reply so thought I was mistaken. The next morning a huge coordinated operation happens and he’s arrested.” Peter says calmly.

 

“Wow you do have a good eye for faces and you were honored both sides of the Atlantic.” The host says.

 

“Yes I was treated really well. I don’t think what I did was a big deal but it turned out to be very useful. I’m not suggesting people spy on their neighbors but I think it’s a good idea to be aware of your surroundings and report things that don’t add up. The man who hit me in London that turned out to be a stalker I just didn’t like the way he was talking to my boyfriend and I was right.” Peter says.

 

“And is he your boyfriend again now? There have been pictures.” The host says.

 

“Those were taken when I was still in a relationship with someone else. We were hanging out as friends.” Peter says ignoring the question.

 

“You looked pretty friendly. Do you hold hands with all your friends?” The host pushes.

 

“That is a Sandy thing, he is very big on physical affection with all his friends.” Peter says grinning, I can’t help but smile at the thought of all the affection I’ll be showing him later.

 

“You were in a relationship did it end recently?” The host asks.

 

“Yes just after those pictures were taken. Sandy has been helping me through it. The breakup wasn’t because of him, my ex was cheating on me. My instincts totally let me down.” Peter says sadly.

 

“I’m sorry to hear that but glad you’ve had a shoulder to cry on. Is there any hope of a reconciliation?” The host asks, one final push.

 

“Who knows. The breakup was less than 2 weeks ago.” Peter says but with a big giveaway grin on his face.

 

The interview wraps up with a final plug for Peter’s tour.

 

“This tour is sounding more and more commercial, not a researcher doing a few lectures and selling a few books. Don’t work him too hard, he’s still fragile.” I say to Blair as we walk through to find Peter.

 

“The tour is just to see what market there is. The opportunities are waiting for him they always were. You remember how the teen girls reacted to him, to the pair of you. I’ve been waiting for this.” Blair says.

 

I start to worry not just about Peter being swept into this life but also about Eric’s reaction. He’ll go apocalyptic when he hears about this.

 

“Eric and Max have signed a reality deal. I was approached to see if you’d agree to be filmed. I turned them down.” Blair says.

 

“So he’ll not notice this?” I ask.

 

“Not until it flops.” Blair says cruelly.

 

“Hey baby you were so good out there.” I say to Peter who is in conversation with the host.

 

“Blair you were right to push this one. My production company would love to film some of the lectures on tour.” The host says.

 

“We’ll talk soon, there is interest.” Blair says.

 

“Of course, of course.” The host says.

 

We say our goodbyes and get a car back to the hotel.

 

“I’m exhausted. Can we just room service and sleep?” Peter asks once in the room.

 

“Of course baby. What do you want to eat?” I ask.

 

“Just dessert, chocolate cake or something.” Peter says.

 

“Are you sure? You know how food can be on these tours.” I say.

 

“Role reversal. You choose, you know best.” Peter says, not annoyed but not exactly happy either. I only want what’s best for him.

 

Peter lies down and dozes as I order.

 

“Let’s get you out of this suit.” I say rousing him.

 

I undress him and hang up his clothes. Looking after him the way he did to me so often.

 

Peter is fast asleep long before the food arrives. I eat both portions and get ready for bed. I spoon in behind him just like in his dreams. He wakes enough to clasp my arms close to his chest.

Give it to me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s