“Come on Blue you can’t leave over this.” Spence says in Blue’s room as he angrily packs.
“Well I’ve done nothing wrong and I’m pushing every compromise but Robin and Andy are being dicks and I just don’t want to be around them. Not just today, ever. This situation is insane. I can’t live with this petty shit.” Blue says.
“You’ve got so much going on and you have hardly been hanging out with us anyway. Just keep doing your thing and you’ll be fine.” Spence says.
“Hey I’ve spoken to Elliot and I’m going to move over there for a bit. If you two are sharing and I can’t see it I think I’ll be fine.” Andy says coming in to the room.
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pushed out. We can probably share again as friends soon enough. Though I’d rather Blue wasn’t in with Robin.” Spence says.
“Agreed. Blue I know you would have found what he did great and terrible in equal measure. I’m sorry for being such a dick about you two sharing. I thought Spence was doing it to punish me. I totally get why no one wants to share with Robin right now. We need to sort what to do about Gervais.” Andy says.
“Robin won’t leave. Maybe we should go see Mike and see if anyone else in a single will swap. But however much we’re not as close right now and however much better he’s doing I think he’s best being close to me.” Blue says.
“Lets go try again. Thanks Andy for finding somewhere.” Spence says.
“End of the day I do love you so, so much and I hate that I’m causing so much pain. I’m hurting like crazy and time apart will help us both.” Andy says.
Blue knocks on Gervais door and walks in.
“Are you okay?” Blue asks.
“No. I’m sorry for making it all about me though. I should have followed you last night.” Gervais says.
“It’s okay, I lived. I just wanted a hug and some reassurance that I handled things okay.” Blue says.
“I guess I’m over reacting.” Gervais says.
“No, not given your past. But the situation is being blown up. I’ve come on to Robin loads of times. It wasn’t entirely unexpected that he decided to take me up on it when he was wasted. He’s of no danger to you.” Blue says.
“I guess I’ll lock my door any way.” Gervais says.
“Andy is moving out for a bit. He and Spence need some real space. So I can move in with Spence at least. I know we’ve been on the outs. My jealousy has been out of control, not because I want you but feeling I’m not closest to you. I’ve not really had many friends my own age. I felt pushed out I guess.” Blue says quietly.
“I don’t want to lose you as a friend. You’re just hard to be around when you’re in a low mood. I know I should persevere but sometimes it’s too exhausting. I’m sorry.” Gervais says.
“How about I stay with you for a couple of nights, so you feel safe and we can reconnect.” Blue suggests.
“That would be nice. Spence will need some space. I guess you’re over Robin now.” Gervais says.
“Totally. How he behaved tonight and towards Jenna, just so off putting.” Blue says.
“I’m glad. You’ll finally get yourself out there.” Gervais says.
“I think I need to learn how to have friends before I try and find a boyfriend.” Blue says.
“You have loads of friends. All the yoga class would die for you, including the kids. You know how to be a great friend. You just don’t know how to be vulnerable with them.” Gervais says.
“I guess. I thought I was super open but I guess I’m not.” Blue says.
“Have you got some food we can have for this sleepover?” Gervais asks.
“Yes I do. I’ll go nuke some and find some cookies. Thanks for forgiving me.” Blue says.
“Nothing to forgive. I need to learn to read you as well as you read me.” Gervais says.
“You don’t need to pack everything. Just take enough things for now.” Spence says to Andy as they sort through his things.
“Thanks but Blue will need somewhere to keep his things. Not fair for him to have to use Robin’s room all the time. God isn’t it ridiculous that Robin gets his own room.” Andy says shaking his head.
“The biggest one at that.” Spence says.
“Did you really tell Jenna?” Andy asks.
“Yeah. I had to. We speak maybe once a week still, she’s been our friend just as much as Robin was. I couldn’t let her find out the way I did.” Spence says.
“Surely you knew I was messing around. Or at least suspected.” Andy says.
“I do now but I didn’t. Even right up to being told what I might have. I thought it would be something else.” Spence says.
“I am really sorry. I got so arrogant and just started taking what I wanted all the time. Hard to believe Blue hasn’t found anyone, guys are pretty easy here.” Andy says.
“Stop, please I do not want to know.” Spence says.
“Sorry, its weird not telling you everything.” Andy says.
“Well you’ve been hiding a lot.” Spence says rolling his eyes.
“Okay this will do for tonight. I’ll come over when you’re out so you don’t have to watch again.” Andy says.
“Thanks. I am going to miss you so much.” Spence says.
“Me too. Take care baby.” Andy says tearing up as the reality hits him that they’re going to be apart.
“We’ll talk soon.” Spence says and they hug quickly.
Spence sits for a while once Andy is gone not sure what to do. He’s barely had a moment to himself to think about what is happening. Robin knocks and lets himself in.
“Sorry for going off on one. I was so shocked you’d told her. I was planning to break up next weekend. I had it all planned. I wasn’t going to string her along.” Robin says.
“Why do it? Was jerking off so bad?” Spence asks.
“Yes. No. I didn’t realize how little privacy I’d have here. I didn’t know how much I’d miss normal affection and just talking to her all the time. I just needed that and a few girls have been pretty forward.” Robin says.
“So it’s been since you got here. Sleeping in bed with Blue, fucking other girls. Seeing Jenna on weekends. Seems like you were getting loads. So why the need to shove your dick at Blue?” Spence asks.
“I was wasted, horny, had just been ditched. The first day he said he’d be happy to help me out. I stupidly thought he’d be gagging for it.” Robin says.
“You are such a dick. You knew that was just talk and he’s totally clueless.” Spence says.
“I was wasted.” Robin shrugs.
“Good job it was just Blue if that’s your attitude. If you’d done that to a girl you could be out of here, or worse.” Spence says.
“I’m not like that.” Robin says.
“Tell that to Gervais. You’ve scared him shitless.” Spence says.
“I’ll apologize tomorrow. He must know I’m not about to hurt him.” Robin says.
“You don’t know half of what he went through. I can only guess. It was hell. He’s come so far out of his shell and his thing with Jesse is a massive deal however much he plays it down. We have to be careful around him.” Spence says.
“I know, I know. I never thought Blue would tell anyone what happened. It was just drunk wrestling that got out of hand.” Robin says.
“Well next time use me not him.” Spence says.
“See you gay boys are always coming on to me.” Robin laughs.
“Your ego is almost the size of Andys.” Spence rolls his eyes.
“Well I’ll go to bed, all alone.” Robin grumbles and leaves.
“Is this okay?” Blue asks Gervais as he throws his arm over his friend. They’ve enjoyed snacks and watched a movie and are ready to go to sleep.
“It’s really nice.” Gervais says pulling him closer. He loves Blue, he’s been annoyed with him more recently but he still loves him and it feels so good to be close. Jesse is just a distraction from the unobtainable, a very fun distraction but Gervais knows what he really wants.
Blue kisses Gervais neck and ear lobe and Gervais murmurs in appreciation and they both settle down to sleep.
Gervais stirs first and feels so happy. He slept really well, feels so safe and happy with Blue. Nuzzling back against Blue for the first time he wonders about riding the stiff cock behind him. Gervais has worked hard to make sure he can have sex without feeling panic or terror and so far that has meant he has topped but he feels so safe with Blue and so attracted that he’s curious and turned on.
“Did you sleep okay with me here?” Blue asks groggily.
“Oh yes, it was nice having you here.” Gervais says, Blue smiles to himself and again presses his lips to Gervais neck. Gervais curls his toes and pushes back against Blue some more. Blue gently kisses along Gervais shoulder. Gervais can’t stand it any longer, wriggles round to face Blue, pushes his hair from his face and kisses him deeply. If Blue is surprised he doesn’t show it, he kisses back with full enthusiasm. They are both a little dazed as they pull apart.
“That, that felt like my real first kiss.” Blue says stroking Gervais face.
“Felt like you knew what you were doing. Another thing you’re really good at.” Gervais says looking up at his friend with love.
“Shall we go stretch?” Blue asks.
“Yeah.” Gervais says jumping out of bed. He needs to think about what they’re doing. He love’s Blue but still doesn’t believe Blue is in to him, not really.
The two boys musky from the night together piss separately and then go through their morning yoga together. Blue is pushing Gervais more and more and he’s growing stronger and more secure.
They shower separately and head to breakfast. Blue piles up on fruit rather than his usual pancakes.
“Whats with the change?” Gervais asks.
“I like fruit. I decided I need to have variety at the meal that offers me the most options.” Blue says.
“Sounds good. I am so glad you are out of your funk.” Gervais says.
“Me too. I’m sorry you bore the brunt of it.” Blue says.
“That’s okay. I know it was because I’m your closest friend. I’m so sorry about not being there for you.” Gervais says.
“You will be from now. Think were both forgiven.” Blue says.
“Yes, I know I want to make sure we stay great friends. I just need to learn to read you as well as you read me.” Gervais says. Blue’s heart drops like a stone. He thought they were finally going to be a lot more than friends.
“Spence and I are taking Ocean to gymnastics tonight. Cheryl will top up my supplies, want to have a late dinner together?” Blue asks hopeful that maybe it will turn into a date.
“That sounds really good. I love her food.” Gervais says.
They make plans and head off to class.
That afternoon Blue and Spence take Ocean to gymnastics. They watch together from the viewing area. The kid has a blast and throws himself into everything with no fear. Blue watches him with joy and Spence watches all the coaches, trying to understand each of the drills they use.
Once the class is over they go down to collect him and Ocean is full of excitement and insists on introducing the boys to everyone.
“He’s great, his flexibility, lack of fear and light frame are idea for gymnastics. I hope he keeps coming and if he continues we’d love to give him a trial.” One of the coaches says.
“Blue is my yoga teacher, he’s why I’m so bendy.” Ocean says.
“Are you the guy who worked with the team? You teach kids too?” The coach asks.
“Yeah, Spence asked me to do a couple of sessions and I teach this monkey and his friends once a week.” Blue says.
“He’s really good.” Spence says coming over.
“I imagine so. I hear good things about you too. We have a few coaching courses coming up, you should book yourself on.” The coach says.
“Thanks I will, I’m loving helping out.” Spence says.
“Did you have fun?” Cheryl asks as Ocean runs into the café.
“It was so good. I am going to go every week and win all the medals.” Ocean says. Blue and Spence laugh as they watch his enthusiasm.
“They said he did really well and if he keeps it up he can get a trial for a club squad.” Blue says.
“Sounds expensive.” Cheryl says.
“I could help.” Blue says.
“You know I would never ask. Once a week is enough for now.” Cheryl says with a smile.
“Thanks for this and I’ll see you Thursday.” Blue says.
“Thanks for taking him. Oh wait Spence here’s your juice.” Cheryl says.
“Wow, thanks so much. What is it today?” Spence asks.
“Spinach, celery, pineapple and ginger. You’ll enjoy it.” Cheryl says.
“Thanks so much. See you next week. Be safe when practicing.” Spence says.
“He loved that so much. Thanks for coming up with the plan.” Blue says in the car.
“No problem. We’ll come up with some plan between us if Ocean needs to take more classes. Maybe if I start coaching we can say it’s a staff discount or something.” Spence says.
“I am sure we will. But he’s a kid he might change his mind in a couple of weeks.” Blue says.
“True. He was a naturel though.” Spence says.
“For sure. Great that you get a chance to do the coaching course. Will you have time for a wrestling club too?” Blue asks.
“I hope so. I really do. It’s hard as a freshman to get things going as others want to be seen to be the organizers.” Spence says.
“Ahh and then do nothing. Well if you need some help ask.” Blue says.
“Thanks. What are you doing now?” Spence asks.
“Dinner with Gervais in the suite. Joining us?” Blue asks.
“I’ll grab a to go box from here and yeah be nice. I’m too tired for the gym and I need to not be alone.” Spence says.
“Sure, I’ll take up your juice and nuke this stuff.” Blue says.
“Hey Blue, how did it go?” Gervais says looking up from the TV.
“Ocean loved it. You home alone?” Blue asks.
“Yup. No sign of Robin.” Gervais says clearly relaxed.
“You look cute.” Blue says. Gervais looks up and smiles.
“Thanks for dinner.” Gervais says.
“Spence is joining us in a minute. Is that okay? He needs people right now.” Blue says.
“Of course. I can’t believe Andy fucked up like that.” Gervais says.
“Did you know for sure he was cheating?” Blue asks.
“I suspected. Didn’t think he was stupid enough to bareback with randoms though.” Gervais says.
Both boys go quiet as Spence comes in.
“How was last night for you two?” Spence asks, he is curious as to why these two don’t just get together. They keep bringing up excuses but then look at each other with hearts in their eyes.
“It was really nice. Gervais is so tiny and cute he barely took up any room.” Blue says smiling.
“Blue is the perfect protector. I’ve calmed down now about Robin, Blue explained everything. I still think Robin was a douche but I’m not worried.” Gervais says.
“So I get Blue tonight?” Spence asks and Gervais can’t disguise his disappointment.
“I’ll go wherever.” Blue says.
“Hey I haven’t split the beds in my room yet and have a good mattress topper both of you join me. Then no one is alone.” Spence says.
“Sounds like a proper sleepover. I’m in.” Gervais says and Blue smiles.
“Will we be having pillow fights in our underwear?” Blue laughs.
“For sure.” Spence laughs.
“How you feeling? Are things clearing up?” Blue asks.
“I think my mental anguish has made me forget the physical. But yeah I’ll be fine soon.” Spence says.
The three prepare for bed shortly after. They all want to talk about sex and relationships and it feels like the bed is the right place. They are also avoiding Robin.
“So are you still having that date on Friday?” Spence asks Blue.
“It’s just coffee. Yeah I think it is time I made friends outside of this floor.” Blue says.
“Has he been texting you?” Gervais asks.
“Not today. Is that a bad thing? Is Friday too long away?” Blue asks.
“It’ll be fine.” Spence says.
“Do you think he’ll be the cherry popper?” Gervais asks.
“I’m trying not to think about that. I don’t want that pressure. I am fucking desperate but that thing with Brad totally threw me off.” Blue says.
“You’re so sexy that he won’t be able to resist you.” Gervais says almost sadly running his hand over Blue’s chest and the lying his head on it.
“Yeah, this body needs to be explored.” Spence says copying Gervais movements.
“How lucky am I to be sleeping between two hot guys.” Blue says putting an arm round each of them.
“Are you going to spill what Jesse is like in bed?” Spence asks Gervais but with his eyes on Blue to check the reaction.
“It was a lot of fun. He is pretty submissive and lets me lead entirely and he’s moans so gently but so appreciatively, keeps me hard and gets me off easily. What is it like with Andy?” Gervais asks.
“Sometimes he is so rough and other times super loving. He always sets the pace and that is usually okay with me.” Spence says feeling sad.
“Did you ever top?” Gervais asks.
“Not often, not for over a year I don’t think. I hate that he let someone when cheating.” Spence says.
“I can’t imagine being on top, seems so much pressure.” Blue says.
“Oh no it’s awesome. You get to drive the other guy wild and that is such a turn on.” Gervais says.
“Guys are going to want this big dick.” Spence says running his hand over Blue’s underwear.
“Well I want theirs. I crave it. I just need the opportunity.” Blue sighs.
“You will. You need some confidence. Maybe this Mac will be good for you. If not I’ll take care of you and set you on your way. I thought you needed to get to know someone but I think maybe we should yank this millstone from you.” Spence says.
“Hey no way are you getting there before me.” Gervais says.
“You said you wanted to be just friends.” Blue says quietly.
“Did something happen last night?” Spence asks.
“Gervais kissed me this morning and it was incredible.” Blue says sadly.
“You kissed back.” Gervais says.
“Of course I did. I really like you, you know that.” Blue says.
“What happened to not ruining the friendship?” Spence asks.
“I already almost did with my jealousy.” Blue says.
“So you think a relationship would work?” Spence asks.
Before Blue can reply Gervais pipes up “No. No offence Blue but I don’t see us like that. The kiss was nice but it didn’t change anything.”
Spence looks across at Gervais unsure of what he’s hearing.
“Thanks for letting me know where I stand.” Blue says.
“Do you want me to go to my room?” Gervais asks.
“No, this is nice. I don’t want things to be weird between us. Tell me your first time stories.” Blue says trying to lighten up.
“Mine was with Andy. We’d been together a while and had been fooling around a lot. I had a really good wrestling meet and he’d been watching and I guess he was turned on as he was begging to go straight back to mine and skip the party and we did. It was pretty great. I went home showered and cleaned up as I knew what he wanted and while I was in the bathroom he tidied my room for me which was really sweet and we were both suddenly shy around each other and I thought maybe it wasn’t going to happen and we’d just stick to head. Which we did but Andy stayed over and in the night we both woke and fucked and it was pretty great. Like finally it had happened. I took Andy in the morning but it wasn’t so good for either of us, I wasn’t able to do to him what he did to me, not my first time anyway.” Spence says.
“And you just kept fucking and fucking.” Gervais laughs.
“Yeah. It is so weird to have you two in here and not him pestering me.” Spence says.
“You still had a lot of sex even though he was getting extra?” Blue asks.
“Andy can go 2 or 3 times a day, every day. I didn’t notice him asking for less and it was still mostly him making the first move.” Spence says.
“Wow. That’ll be an adjustment for you.” Blue says.
“Well until I get the all clear I can’t be with anyone. That actually helps. What about you Gervais what do you count as your first?” Spence asks.
“Well yeah there is a lot I don’t count. Summer after junior year I decided I needed to have normal healthy sex. I mean I still had urges, I wanted to and I felt ready. One of the team I was gaming with had come out the year before, he lived maybe an hour from my Dad’s place and I started flirting and we met and I spent the night with him and it was a lot of fun. It really was. I was in control, I wasn’t scared. It was risky but I felt like I knew him.” Gervais says.
“That’s cool. Did you try and make him your boyfriend?” Blue asks.
“No. I think I just wanted to know I could do it. I was so anxious I couldn’t manage to talk to him after. I mean after I left, I froze, couldn’t text or anything. I quit playing that game and I guess I ghosted him.” Gervais says.
“So you’ve not had a boyfriend.” Spence says.
“No. I like you Blue and I like Jesse but I don’t feel ready to trust anyone at that level yet.” Gervais says.
“Fair enough.” Spence says.
Gervais and Spence sleep on Blue’s chest. Blue struggles to get to sleep worried about what is wrong with him. He really thought Gervais wanted more, he can’t believe the kiss was just okay. He was sure Gervais felt more too, the look on his face this morning was of a lot more than okay.
Gervais and Spence wake first.
“Jeeze he really is huge.” Spence says accidently bumping Blue’s morning wood.
“Oh yeah.” Gervais says quietly.
The two slip out of bed to let Blue sleep a minute.
“So why don’t you want a relationship with him? You both say one thing and act another. Must be confusing for you both.” Spence says.
“When Blue gets his confidence he’ll be able to get anyone. I don’t want to put the work in only to have him skip off with some hot muscle jock once he’s ready.” Gervais says.
“You have no idea he’d do that.” Spence says.
“I don’t think he’d do it on purpose but you know the looks he gets. I wouldn’t be able to hold on to him. Not yet. It’s like you and Andy, you met too soon. You two could easily last 50 years but Andy needs to fool around first. He love you and you are so good as a couple but you’re too young and inexperienced.” Gervais says.
“I guess so. I just find it hard when I feel ready for that and have no real interest in anyone else. I might joke about sleeping with Blue but I never would.” Spence says.
Blue listens from inside the room to his two friends rejecting him and feels even worse. Not that he ever saw himself with Spence but knowing he’s not good enough for wither of them is depressing. He’s already mentally rejected Mac as he was ready to start something with Gervais but now he is feeling utterly lost. Blue filters out any compliment from the 2 and focuses only on the rejection.
“I’ll just go for a swim today.” Blue says walking in to the main room.
“Okay. Want company?” Gervais asks and Blue shakes his head and walks into a bathroom.
“Looks like you turning him down has sent him back into his funk.” Spence says.
“He’ll be fine.” Gervais says.
“I hope so. With his mood swings I can see why you might not want him.” Spence says.
“I love him, happy and sad.” Gervais says.
“But you’re not ready. Spence says.