Suite saga part 12

Andy wakes alone and hates it. There are several empty rooms in Elliot’s dorm as people move to better blocks when they can. Andy was able to bribe the RA Brent for a key with no trouble. Brent is one of Elliot’s many conquests and hopeful that the favour will help him get back in Elliot’s bed.

Andy stares at the ceiling and tries to work out what he wants. He aches for Spence, he misses his boyfriend terribly and cannot believe they are over. He’s unsure what to do. He wants to win him back but is very unsure if he can commit again. But if he leaves it to go and explore some more then Spence might find someone else. He’s not sure about how fair it is to ask Spence to consider waiting. For the two of them to spend the next couple of months apart and then reunite. Would that be enough? Would Spence wait?

Spence would not use the time to play, he’d be with someone new in no time Andy is sure of that. Would Andy, could Andy win Spence back if he had a new boyfriend? Andy contemplates this for a long while and figures he’d have the edge over almost any one.

This doesn’t solve his immediate problem of an empty bed. He wishes he was still in the suite, Blue or Gervais would be good to snuggle. Maybe even Robin as he was always that way with Blue.

He’s not sure why he’s so against sharing with Robin, probably the same as Spence he loves Robin but living any closer and they’d likely fall out. He’s also pretty mad at him over the Blue situation. Like Spence Andy feels quite protective of Blue and Gervais. He warned Robin over and over that he needed to stop leading Blue on but he just had to go and push too far.

Being over here will give him the space from all of them that he needs. Over the next week that is what he has. The clinic confirm both boys had chlamydia and gonorrhoea which curtails Andy’s exploits but he’s relieved that he’s already on treatment.

The following Wednesday Andy, Elliot, Blue, Gervais and Jesse all go to the climbing club. They are all signed up for the weekend camping trip and Blue adds Spence’s name to the list.

“It’s okay with you that Spence is coming?” Blue asks Andy.

“Of course, is he sharing with you?” Andy asks.

“Yes, nothing is going on I promise.” Blue says.

“I know you tell me that every time we meet. What happened with Mac?” Andy asks.

“We had coffee, it was nice. I thought maybe it could go somewhere but he told me at the end he’d just started seeing someone. I guess he was hedging his bets and I came up short.” Blue says.

“Man that sucks. We’re away this weekend but next how about we go out again. Maybe with everyone?” Andy asks.

“Sounds really good. We had such fun last time. Are you coming out for dinner now? It would be good to catch up we really miss you.” Blue says.

“Yeah we’re coming.” Andy says.

“Are you and Elliot?” Blue asks.

“Just friends. Have Gervais and Jesse stepped things up?” Andy asks.

Blue nods unable to get the words out. It still really stings that Gervais has chosen Jesse and they are now together. Blue takes a few deep breaths.

“Jesse gave an ultimatum as neither of them were seeing anyone else.” Blue says pained.

“I’m sorry. I thought you two were finally getting there.” Andy says.

“Me too. It’s okay, I’m clearly not his type given he chose Jesse.” Blue says.

“Did he know you were an option?” Andy asks.

“Yes. He kissed me but said he just wanted to be friends.” Blue says quietly.

Andy hugs his friend and they head out for food with the others. They have a fun time. Blue is trying to push all his disappointments behind him. He and Spence are happily sharing a room. They have separated the beds to end any confusion and are getting really close as friends. Blue is helping Spence try to set up his wrestling class and they are both working with the gymnastics team and will both be doing the basic coaching course in a couple of weeks.

On Thursday Blue, Spence and Gervais go to yoga together and then shop for camping equipment.

“Why didn’t Jesse come too?” Spence asks.

“We decided Thursday yoga is my thing. He’ll find something else to do. We need more time apart.” Gervais says.

“Are you tired of him already?” Spence asks.

“No, not at all. I just want to explore college more and not only do things he wants to do. I also want to see you guys more without him. He can be quite high maintenance when we’re in a group.” Gervais says.

“How do you manage your anxiety with that?” Blue asks softly.

Gervais looks at Blue for a moment, wondering how he can always see right inside his head.

“It is difficult. I asked for Sundays apart so I can fully recharge and do homework and game and that really helps. But yeah reassuring him and making sure he gets enough attention when I need to just concentrate on not fleeing is really hard. Pushes me though, I am learning lots of coping techniques. Tonight really helped thanks for a great class. I miss our morning sessions. I miss our whole routine of yoga and breakfast.” Gervais says.

“Me too. I feel like I lost you and Robin. Spence is great but he’s so busy and I find myself doing a lot of his activities just to have some company.” Blue says. Gervais feels a pang of guilt. He really has mostly dropped Blue for Jesse, who is very insecure about his friendship.

“I’m sorry. We had just made up and I dropped you.” Gervais says.

“It’s okay. I know you’ll come back. I won’t hold a grudge that you love your boyfriend more than me.” Blue smiles.

Spence has been hanging back letting the two have some space. He can see that despite time apart and Gervais new relationship the two are still crazy about each other, probably even more so than two weeks ago when they were on the verge of starting something.

“Have you seen much of Robin?” Gervais asks Spence.

“No, he has a new girlfriend and spends a lot of time with her. I met her earlier she seems nice enough. He asked about you guys but didn’t want to make plans to meet up.” Spence says.

“I’m glad he’s okay. I’m surprised he’s talking to you and not me though. I miss him.” Blue says sadly.

“He’ll come around. He’s forgiven me for telling Jenna.” Spence says.

“I’m excited for this weekend. Lots of walking and climbing. I hope it doesn’t rain.” Gervais says.

“Swimming too, the campsite is near a lake.” Blue says.

“You might want to freeze to death but I like being warm and dry.” Gervais laughs.

The three happily pay and load up the car. Robin is actually in the suite when they return, watching a film.

“Hey stranger.” Blue says with a huge smile, he really has missed Robin a lot.

“You guys been shopping?” Robin asks.

“We’re going camping this weekend with the climbing club.” Blue says starring at Robin intently. His crush is gone but he still finds Robin beautiful.

Robin nods without comment.

“Spence says you have a new girlfriend. What’s she like?” Blue asks.

“It didn’t work out. Still that’s the rebound done.” Robin sighs.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Is it okay if I come and get some things out the room?” Blue asks.

“Sure, come on.” Robin says and Blue follows him.

“I’m sorry things got out of hand. I really missed you.” Blue says as he collects some things from under his bed.

“It’s not your fault. I just felt so embarrassed I couldn’t face you.” Robin says.

“No need. It happened, we’re over it. Please can we hang out again?” Blue asks.

“Why don’t you stay in here tonight so we can catch up?” Robin suggests.

“You lonely having the big room all to yourself?” Blue asks.

“I’ve only had 1 or 2 nights here. Things with Madeline were a bit of a whirlwind.” Robin says.

“Why’d you split up?” Blue asks.

“She turned out to be a raging homophobe! Can you believe it? We ran into Spence earlier and I introduced them, after she asked me if she could set him up with one of her friends. I asked what he was like and she refused to believe Spence was gay. Started coming out with a load of religious b.s. and I was out of there.” Robin laughs.

“Wait did she not know all your roommates were gay?” Blue asks.

“I guess it didn’t really come up. We were still in the fuck all the time mode and hadn’t got to the meeting each other’s friends stage yet.” Robin says grinning.

“So your getting to know you stage was purely physical?” Blue asks grinning.

“It was. I am such an idiot. I should have known such a hot girl would have to have serious flaws to be into me.” Robin says.

“I can’t believe you were basically in bed for 2 weeks and then she gets all religious, what a hypocrite.” Blue laughs.

“I know. I guess I needed to prove things to myself after you. I do absolutely like women and just women and I am sorry for what I did. I took things too far that night and before that I was leading you on. I see that now.” Robin says.

“I didn’t feel like you were, I knew where I stood with you. I liked sharing a bed and so did you. I think we both listened to the others too much and should have talked more to each other about their worries.” Blue says.

“So am I in your bed tonight?” Robin asks.

“Sure, let me just get my stuff.” Blue says.

“What’s going on?” Spence asks.

“I’m going in my old bed tonight to catch up with Robin. Just getting my stuff.” Blue says.

“Is that a good idea?” Gervais asks.

“Yes it is.” Blue says without qualifying himself.

“You know it isn’t.” Spence says.

“You two don’t own me.” Blue says annoyed and heads into Spence’s room to grab some things.

Gervais and Spence wait in silence until Blue is back in Robin’s room.

“Let’s go in mine.” Gervais says and Spence nods.

“He’s right we don’t have any claim on him. He can sleep where he pleases.” Spence says.

“But he’ll never meet anyone if that crush is lit up again. Surely we owe it to him as his friends to stop him making these mistakes.” Gervais says.

“Well it’s only one night as we’re going camping.” Spence says unsure what is best.

“I guess. We’ll talk to him over the weekend.” Gervais says.

“We can’t be too confrontational, he’ll cut us out.” Spence says.

“I don’t want that. I miss him so much.” Gervais says.

“I don’t want to judge but why are you with Jesse and not Blue? I thought you didn’t want a relationship. Seems like you are punishing yourself not being with him.” Spence asks.

“I’m happy with Jesse. Yes I have feelings for Blue, no question and I doubt they’ll fade any time soon. But I’m learning a lot with Jesse, with him not being so outgoing or confident I get a chance to grow more than I would with Blue who would be all about making things easier for me. Jesse will let me drown a bit.” Gervais says.

“That doesn’t sound so romantic.” Spence says.

“If I was with Blue I would never really feel like he needed me. Not in the way I lean on him emotionally. With Jesse we’re much more evenly matched.” Gervais explains.

“You really downplay your good qualities. Blue likes you a lot and the connection you two have is so special. Can you honestly tell me the kiss you shared wasn’t better than any you’ve had with Jesse?” Spence asks and Gervais looks away, totally caught.

“Butt out. Seriously man, I appreciate the concern but I’m not going to dump Jesse for Blue.” Gervais says.

“That’s me told.” Spence grins.

“What about you and Andy?” Gervais asks.

“We’re over. I’ll need a good long break from guys to get over him.” Spence says.

“I bet you have someone in your bed within a week.” Gervais says.

“When I say long I mean like 3, 4 more hours.” Spence laughs and Gervais joins in.

Spence is driving Gervais Blue and Jesse to the campground Friday after school. Gervais is in the front as he sometimes gets carsick and Blue is struggling to engage Jesse in conversation in the back.

“Are you enjoying classes now?” Blue asks.

“Not so much.” Jesse replies.

“Has Gervais taken you on any cool dates?” Blue asks.

“Not really, I guess this weekend.” Jesse replies.

“Do you like camping?” Blue asks.

“I’ve never been, I hate the idea but it’s this or leave Gervais with you for 2 nights and that isn’t happening.” Jesse says.

Blue gives up and tries to nap.

Some of the others are already there. They set up camp as its getting dark then have a quick look around. Andy and Elliot arrive with some of the others and Spence pulls Blue aside.

“Please don’t leave me alone with him. I am so angry when I see him, I don’t want to fight in public.” Spence whispers.

“No problem. I think we’ll all hang out and drink tonight and not much else. Don’t worry. I’ll even follow if you need to piss.” Blue laughs.

“Thanks.” Spence says.

The guys help others set up as they arrive and the group sits down round a campfire drinking and chatting late into the night.

“You seem a million times more relaxed than you have been recently.” Spence says to Blue as they settle in their tent.

“You know I love to be outdoors. I’ve been looking forward to this weekend for ages. I really need this. I don’t care how cold it gets.” Blue says.

“You’ll be outside doing yoga at dawn.” Spence laughs.

“I will. I can’t wait.” Blue says snuggling closer to Spence. The two are very comfortable around each other. There is no sexual tension they are just friends and happy to be sharing a room and now tent.

As Spence predicts Blue wakes early pulls on shorts and flip flops despite the low temperature walks down to the lake shore and begins his morning routine. Gervais joins him within minutes as if responding to a telepathic signal.

Blue takes them through a different routine to normal, more linked moves, more invigorating.

“You two are certainly limbered up.” John one of the group leaders says as the two walk back to camp.

“I feel so good.” Gervais says.

The two pitch in with getting coffee and breakfast ready. Jesse comes out looking for Gervais and gives Blue the darkest of looks when he sees them together.

After breakfast the group head up the trail to the first climb. Blue introduces Spence to lots of people and he’s soon happily chatting away. Andy and Elliot are tanning in the winter sun at a distance from the others, Gervais and Blue chat with them now and then when not climbing.

Spence takes to the activity easily and is soon in Blue’s group working on more challenging routes.

Blue is feeling good after completing a particular face quickly and stands back to watch others. He notices Gervais is a little away from the group, not too high up but seems stuck. Blue can see a lot of easy holds around him and realises Gervais is frozen. Without thinking safely Blue bounds over and climbs up beside him without a rope.

“Hey buddy. I’m here just breathe.” Blue says gently to his friend.

Gervais is white and trembling and unable to catch his breath, in full panic mode.

“Close your eyes and concentrate on breathing. Then its just three steps down. I’m right here and will stay with you okay. Just breathe like this morning. Imagine you’re back with me by the lake. You have full control of your body. It is just me and you.” Blue says slowly taking his time between instructions. Gervais breathing slows a little and Blue guides him down.

On the ground he unhooks Gervais, picks him up and carries the still shaking boy away out of sight of the group. He nods at one of the leaders as he does it making sure they know they’re not missing.

Blue hands Gervais some water and chocolate out his pack and waits.

“Thank-you.” Gervais eventually manages feeling terribly embarrassed.

“What happened to your partner?” Blue asks.

“I don’t know, I think someone else had a knot issue. But it wasn’t his fault, I had a bad flashback and it set me into a panic. I’ve not had one for ages.” Gervais explains.

“Hey it could have been worse, you could have been higher up.” Blue jokes.

“I just feel so stupid.” Gervais says.

“Why? You have anxiety due to trauma. You’ve had it under control for a while and climbing never set it off before. You couldn’t prevent it.” Blue says quietly.

“You understand me so well. It was a smell, I don’t know if someone was wearing cologne, that would be a bit weird out here but it was a smell and it sent me straight back there.” Gervais says.

“Maybe it was lingering on someone’s jacket. Shall we go back to camp?” Blue asks.

“I don’t want to spoil your day or make a fuss.” Gervais says.

“You could go and lie with Elliot and Andy but you’d feel more conspicuous. Lets go back to camp, let them all gossip about us and get it out while we can’t overhear and then it’ll be out their systems by the time they get back.” Blue says.

“I don’t want to stop you climbing.” Gervais says.

“I’m happy just being outdoors. I don’t care about the climbing, yes it’s fun but so is hanging out with you. We can take a walk round the lake and see what wildlife there is here.” Blue suggests.

“That sounds nice.” Gervais says.

“I’ll go and let them know. Do you want me to ask Jesse to come?” Blue asks.

“No, just let him know please. Thanks for not making me go back over there.” Gervais says, Blue smiles and goes back round.

“Jesse I’m taking Gervais back to camp so he can rest.” Blue says after letting John know what is happening.

“I’ll take him. I’m his boyfriend I should do it.” Jesse says.

“Honestly it’s fine, he doesn’t want to stop you from climbing.” Blue says.

“Blue just step off okay. It’s hard enough getting our relationship off the ground with you hanging around looking all dejected. I’ll take him back, I’m here for him not the activities.” Jesse says quietly but firmly, not wanting to make a scene.

“Okay, he’s just at the top of the path.” Blue says quietly and goes to sit with Elliot and Andy.

“You okay?” Andy asks, Elliot quickly steps away to give them space to talk.

“It’s hard, I can accept being just friends but it is hard to remember that Jesse should be the one to look after him and not me.” Blue says.

“Especially when he’s crazy about you.” Andy says.

“He isn’t, he wants Jesse. We barely see each other anymore.” Blue says.

“Looked like your morning routine was still in full swing this morning.” Andy says.

“We don’t often as he has Jesse over most nights.” Blue says.

“Well it looked as hot as ever and was very useful for identifying the other gays in this group. Actually the girls were pretty appreciative too.” Andy laughs.

“Perv.” Blue laughs back.

“Hey I just appreciate the male form, in every darn position you put yours in.” Andy laughs.

“How are you doing? Robin and I made up.” Blue says.

“I’m hating having an empty bed but don’t miss the guilt. I miss Spence every day and have to stop myself from texting him 50 times a day.” Andy says.

“Are you still meeting lots of guys?” Blue asks.

“Not so much, a few. I guess I ran through most options pretty quickly and accept there is not an endless stream. I’m being careful now though.” Andy says.

“I should hope so. Give Spence more time, he’s still pretty angry but he also misses you like crazy too.” Blue says.

“I hope we can be friends again soon. I’m really glad he has you and Gervais.” Andy says.

“I guess you’ll be pleased to know he hasn’t got anyone else yet.” Blue says.

“Is he dating?” Andy asks.

“No, he’s working hard and doing a million things to distract himself.” Blue says.

“I’m still a total hypocrite. I would never have coped with him seeing anyone else if he’d agreed to be open. Still want him to accept it from me though. I suck.” Andy says.

“You still want freedom over his love?” Blue asks.

“Blue I ask myself that every day.” Andy says with a shrug.

“Looks like Elliot is having a good time.” Blue says looking at Elliot who is deeply flirting with one of the climbers.

“Ah yes, one of the ones you outed this morning.” Andy laughs.

The group moves on to the next site. Blue contemplates returning to camp to check on Gervais but figures he has to give him and Jesse space.

“What was up with Gervais?” Spence asks as they walk up the trail.

“Panic attack. Not at the best time.” Blue says.

“Is he okay?” Spence asks.

“Not really but Jesse is with him, I’m sure they’re fine.” Blue says.

“I’m sorry.” Spence says seeing how hurt his friend is.

“I can’t force him to like me. He has chosen Jesse and its right that he looks after him, Jesse shouldn’t have had to tell me that.” Blue says. Spence feels so frustrated at the situation, here’s Blue thinking all his feelings are unrequited and that he’s got all the signals wrong when he hasn’t. If anything Gervais has the stronger feelings.

“Then maybe he should have been looking out for his boyfriend in the first place and read the signs he was in trouble like you would have.” Spence says trying to keep his frustration in check.

Blue shrugs. He throws himself into the afternoons activities and has a lot of fun. Spence is also enjoying himself, he hasn’t had much relaxation time since the breakup and is enjoying trying new things and meeting new people.

The light fading the group head back to the camp and then offsite to dinner. It is a fun evening, the group largely have the restaurant to themselves and the long-time members of the club have a lot of stories to tell. Gervais looks to be back to normal and Blue stops worrying so much.

Back at camp John takes Blue aside.

“I’m supposed to have a go at you for ignoring the safety rules earlier but no harm done and it was clear you needed to do what you did.” John says.

“I’m sorry. I know I was rash. He shouldn’t have been left alone, he was on the easy climb because he’s a beginner.” Blue says.

“Agreed and a separate conversation is going on about that. You’ve both been good members and we don’t want to scare you off. Spence is a good guy too but he says he can’t make it to our regular meeting.” John says.

“He has wrestling on Wednesdays. He might come to some free sessions now though but he does so many activities it is hard for him. Still he was great today and he’ll come on our next trip for sure.” Blue says.

“Good to hear it. Gervais is okay now?” John asks.

“He looks it.” Blue says smiling as he looks over at his friend.

“If you ever need someone to talk to about how much unrequited feeling suck I’m here.” John says suddenly and Blue follows his gaze to Dylan the other leader of the group who is laughing and talking to a group of girls, his arm casually around his girlfriend Susie.

“Him or her?” Blue asks.

“Him for 3 years now. It never quits.” John says sadly.

“Are you single?” Blue asks making sure he’s doing things in the right order this time.

“I am. Want to do something when we get back?” John asks.

“For sure. Are you free Tuesday?” Blue asks.

“I can do Tuesday. Lets go to a movie or something. I’ll text you.” John says with a smile.

Blue feels hopeful, he has a lot in common with John, and they already get on well. This could actually be something. Blue sees Andy is alone and bounds over to him.

“Keep it quiet, I have a date on Tuesday.” Blue says with a smile.

“Who with?” Andy asks.

“John.” Blue says nodding in the direction.

“That is great. I had no idea he was one of us. He didn’t give himself away this morning.” Andy says laughing.

“Don’t you dare try and steal him.” Blue says.

“I may be a shit boyfriend but I know how to be a good friend.” Andy says.

“Are you going to need somewhere to sleep tonight?” Blue asks as Elliot is tightly cuddled up with a guy.

“Looks like it.” Andy says.

“Spence! Spence!” Blue calls out beckoning his friend over.

“What’s the panic?” Spence asks plopping down beside them.

“Would it be too awkward if Andy was in with us tonight?” Blue asks motioning to Elliot.

“It would be fine with me. If its not awkward for you.” Spence says.

“I’m happy to find where his friend was due to sleep.” Andy says making it clear it isn’t his idea.

“No, we were pretty cold last night, an extra body will help.” Spence says looking at his ex and trying not to show all his pain and desire.

“Thanks, I didn’t really want to share with someone I didn’t know. I’ll go and tell Elliot.” Andy says.

“Hope that’s okay. I’ll not leave you alone tonight but you should talk sometime.” Blue says.

“Yeah, seeing him is hard. I was so angry earlier, now I don’t know, shall we say I’m thawing.” Spence says.

“I need to talk to Gervais, I don’t want him to think I abandoned him earlier.” Blue says.

“He’s okay but yes do quickly, looks like Jesse is heading off to pee.” Spence says laughing.

“How you feeling?” Blue asks Gervais.

“Good. We took your suggestion and walked round the lake. I wish you’d come too.” Gervais says.

“I don’t like butting in. Jesse doesn’t like me and it would have spoilt your day if we’d been competing for your attention when you’re not up to it.” Blue says.

“He doesn’t replace you. I still want you in my life, I need you. I needed a friend today not a boyfriend. I understand why you did it but I want you to know I wanted to be on that walk with you.” Gervais says suddenly almost angry.

“I guess you were in a far from romantic mood. I hope he wasn’t too pushy.” Blue says suddenly realising what Gervais needed.

Gervais looks at the ground.

“It was fine. He was a bit sulky but he said he understood and we had a nice afternoon. It was good to have some alone time just talking.” Gervais says.

“Have you told him everything?” Blue asks.

“No, I won’t do that. He knows I have anxiety and depression and despite today I’m mostly okay. He knows about my Dad. But the rest, hell I’ve not even told you everything. I don’t want him to look at me differently.” Gervais says.

“I never have.” Blue says.

“No, well sometimes you baby me but no you don’t treat me as less desirable.” Gervais says.

“We need to make some time to hang out, not just yoga class. Maybe we can start doing breakfast again just once a week or something I don’t want to pressure you or take away from your time with Jesse but I really miss talking with you.” Blue says.

Gervais reaches his arms around his friend and pulls him into a hug.

“I miss talking too.” He whispers.

As if sensing his boyfriends closeness to another Jesse reappears as the boys break apart.

Blue drifts away and finds Spence talking to John.

“I was telling John about the coaching I want to do, he coaches tennis.” Spence says.

“Wow that’s cool. At school?” Blue asks.

“As part of an outreach program at local prep school. Disadvantaged kids get to use their tennis courts and transport. I’m in a big brother program and it started from there.” John says.

“Sounds a bit mean, saying look what you could have if you were rich.” Blue says.

“Yeah it can be and tennis is hardly high up their list of needs but its only one aspect of the program, there is mentoring too and academic help. Tennis is just a way to let off steam in a safe environment and they mostly start out at the same level unlike if we did basketball or even soccer.” John says. Blue likes John’s attitude and is getting more excited for their date.

“I’m trying to work on something with the wrestling club but it is proving difficult logistically. I really need something to piggyback on. If they fancy adding wrestling let me know. I know its not suitable for all kids.” Spence says.

“I’ll ask around. Spence says you teach yoga.” John says.

“I do a kids class and a community class above a vegetarian café. It’s not serious but I like it. Back home I live near a big yoga retreat and have trained and volunteered there, doing kids classes and the like. My school was too small for sports so we’d do yoga or swimming for exercise.” Blue says.

“So you’ve done it your whole life? Bit different from us doing team sports.” John says.

“Yeah t-ball and little league are a world away from what Blue had.” Spence laughs.

“But we all ended up in the same place.” Blue says with a grin not wanting to go into his alternative upbringing with John too much yet.

“That’s true. You two did great today, drama aside. Its great to have new members who throw themselves in and are happy to help out with the chores. A lot turn up and never even offer to wash a cup.” John says.

“We’re both fully housetrained. Neither of us had a normal upbringing but we both have good manners.” Spence laughs.

“It’d never occur to me not to help out. I didn’t notice anyone shying from chores.” Blue says.

“Actually this trip has been better for that. I think you guys and Gervais helping set up last night and pitching in with breakfast set the standard for the other new people so thanks for that.” John says smiling.

The group move round the campfire again for drinks. Most people are pretty tired and some slip off to bed as more stories are traded and beers drunk. Its clear a lot of couples have formed and there is a fair bit of negotiation over who is sleeping where.

“Lets go, I keep almost nodding off and losing my beer.” Blue says to Andy and Spence. They nod, the three get ready for bed. Andy had brought his stuff over earlier.

“I have fantasised about this situation.” Andy laughs as the three lie squashed together.

“No getting ideas.” Blue laughs.

“Oh my dreams will be full of them. Watching both your asses all day was bliss.” Andy says.

“You’ll never have a better one.” Spence says.

“That is very true. I will never have better than you.” Andy says snuggling up to his ex. Blue smiles to himself as he can feel the happiness in Spence.

In the morning Blue is up even earlier than usual. He looks at his two friends, they are fully entwined, sometime in the night they must have unzipped their sleeping bags. Their legs are wrapped together and Andy’s head rests on Spence’s chest, arms tight around each other and Blue smiles and hopes his friends will reunite fully.

Gervais is already stretching by the lake when Blue gets down there.

“Wow I thought I was early.” Blue says.

“Couldn’t sleep. How was the overcrowding?” Gervais asks.

“Good, much warmer and I think there will be a big thaw between those two.” Blue says.

“I hope so. Andy has been awful but they are so good together.” Gervais says.

“We could be like them, best friends and boyfriends. Without the cheating and STIs.” Blue says suddenly wanting to push for another shot.

 

“I’m with Jesse. I know you don’t like him but I thought you’d accepted it. You only ever wanted me once someone else did.” Gervais says.

“That’s not fair. I do like Jesse and I think you’re great together. He hates me. I liked him before you got together remember, yes I was less than nice to him when you first started things but I’ve tried to make it up to him. I try and take an interest he’s just rude and angry with me.” Blue says.

“Well why should he like you when you want us to split up?” Gervais asks.

“I’m sorry.” Blue says ashamed.

“Come on lets do this. Its too cold to sit still.” Gervais says.

Gervais leads the two of them this session, he can see Blue isn’t in the mood. He wishes his friend would find someone for himself or get ugly overnight.

Andy and Spence wake up together and are both so happy in each other’s arms. Spence kisses Andy’s lips gently.

“I missed you.” Spence says.

“I still love you.” Andy says back.

“I love you too.” Spence admits kissing Andy again.

“Take me back?” Andy asks.

“I want to but need some more space.” Spence admits.

“Okay. I respect that. But I meant it last night I won’t find better than you, not just your booty. I’ve done my thinking and I’m going to try and win you back.” Andy says and feels instantly lighter the decision made.

“I’m going to enjoy having you chase me.” Spence says and moves to kiss Andy again before pulling back so Andy has to make the move.

The guys help out with getting everyone packed up and after a last hike they head back to school. Even though Blue has a date with John to look forward to he hates going back to the city.

“You have to stop with the morning yoga, so embarrassing today.” Jesse says to Blue in a low voice in the car.

“What? Why was it embarrassing?” Blue asks confused.

“You two wearing almost nothing, with your hands all over each other and everyone watching.” Jesse complains.

“It wasn’t like that. For sure we correct each other but we didn’t do it to show off we did it to feel good. You shouldn’t stop Gervais doing things that help with his anxiety.” Blue says.

“Look just leave him alone. I know you’re jealous and are trying to steal him from me but he loves me and not you.” Jesse says.

“I know that. I know he wants you and not me. I know I’m not good enough for him, not his type, not what he wants and I’ll never be that. You do not need to be worried about me because yes I asked him to reconsider me but he chooses you. I can’t make my feelings just go away but I will never act on them.” Blue says and looks out the window.

“It’s not just the yoga, you need to stay away, don’t text him, don’t talk to him. He is mine and you are not in his life any more. If I even think he’s been talking to you I will make your life hell.” Jesse says with force.

Blue keeps starring out the window blinking back his tears.

 

Give it to me

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