Gervais slowly eats his meal. He feels so stupid. He told Blue not to wait for him, he rejected him over and over. Doesn’t make it hurt any less now he has someone new. Gervais tries to wash his dishes but feels too woozy to stand upright, flops onto the sofa and watches tv.
Blue comes back a few hours later and Gervais is asleep on the floor, he’s rolled off the couch and not had the energy to climb back on. Blue looks at him full of affection and then scoops him up.
“Do you want to stay in here or back to bed?” Blue asks.
“Out here is fine. Sorry about the dishes.” Gervais says quietly.
“Shall I nuke up some noodles and soup?” Blue asks.
“Yeah that sounds good. I thought you’d stay over the night.” Gervais says.
“I didn’t want to leave you too long and Austin didn’t come back for me. He came back to take advantage of empty rehearsal studios and will be working with his group the next 2 days.” Blue says.
“Bet he was happy to see you anyway. How did he get back?” Gervais asks.
“It was good to see each other even if just for a couple of hours. He said the snow is really local, its all clear up to about a mile from campus and the roads were clear from the airport.” Blue says.
“Did you miss him?” Gervais asks.
“I was too busy worrying about you and studying. It’s not like I get to see him every day yet anyway.” Blue says.
“Was it better this time?” Gervais asks.
“You’re nosy today.” Blue says.
“You don’t have to stay with him, if it is bad.” Gervais says.
“It isn’t bad.” Blue says not believing it himself. Knowing it would be different with Gervais.
“Don’t waste too much time.” Gervais says.
“Why? You ready to dump Jesse for me?” Blue asks joking.
“You wish.” Gervais jokes back wishing he could just say yes.
The boys eat together and snuggle into bed to watch movies. Gervais dozes off and on feeling as content as can be with Blue holding him.
Robin finds them together the next morning. He has decided to stay at school and be like Spence and take advantage of all the extra circular options. His Mom is not best pleased given the attack but she accepts his choice. His dad has been more encouraging than Robin expected, especially about climbing and trying other activities. Proposing the two of them taking a camping trip his summer was a delightful shock to Robin.
“You two finally together?” Robin asks.
“No, he still doesn’t want me. Even after I had to prop him up on the can.” Blue says.
“I used your bed Robin I need to change it.” Gervais says.
“I did it already.” Blue says.
“Thanks. Are you feeling better?” Robin asks Gervais.
“Yes, I’m still a bit shaky but the fever has gone and my head cold is clearing.” Gervais says.
“Are you staying here?” Blue asks.
“I am. I was so close to deciding the other way but a bit of distance helped. I realized it wasn’t cheer I missed exactly but being in a social team. I’ll join you lot climbing and go to open gym to tumble and find some other activities.” Robin says.
Blue jumps out of bed almost knocking Gervais on the floor and hugs his friend.
“I’m so happy you’re staying.” Blue says picking Robin off the floor and trying to swing him round.
“I knew you would be. I bet Elliot won’t be so happy.” Robin says.
“And I can’t steal your parking permit but I’ll just carry on stealing your car.” Blue laughs puts Robin down and kisses him on the mouth. Both boys laugh at the gesture.
Blue turns back to Gervais.
“Are you okay or do you need help?” Blue asks gently stroking his friends face.
“I’ll be okay. The dining hall will be open again today and I really need food. Once I’ve eaten I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Gervais says and slopes off to the bathroom.
“I’m so jealous of you two, that intimacy you share is beautiful. I really need a girlfriend, I want someone to look after and have fun with.” Robin says.
“No need to be jealous of us, it is a painful situation. I’m trying to move on but then Gervais looks at me that way or needs me like the last few days and he becomes my whole world and I forget Austin exists. Then of course I push for a relationship, he rejects me and reality hits.” Blue says quietly, clearly very upset.
“I’m still jealous; I just want to care about someone as much as you do for him. I guess enough is enough though. You do have to accept he treats you badly and make that the reason to forget about a relationship with him.” Robin says and Blue nods.
“I know, I need to knock him off the pedestal, like I did with you. It is so hard because thinks are not perfect with Austin and I feel like they would be with Gervais, we’d have issues but I know what they are upfront.” Blue says.
“What isn’t right with Austin? He seems to really like you and is cute and interesting.” Robin says.
“Exactly he is all of that and I find him great and everything we do is great until it comes to anal. He loves it and it bores me. Gervais said I had to try different positions and I did yesterday but Austin didn’t enjoy anything I tried, I like that he likes to dictate but I don’t like what we do. Sorry totally TMI.” Blue says blushing.
“It’s fine, you forget I’m best friends with Spence and Andy. Have you told Austin how you feel?” Robin asks.
“Not yet, I hoped I could fix it but I will talk to him. I’m seeing him tomorrow.” Blue says.
“Good talk to him and I’m sure it’ll be fine. If he reacts badly then you know you’re back to looking for someone else.” Robin says.
“He has 2 friends, Miles from climbing who introduced us and Emilie his girlfriend. She is very much your type, strong and independent but appreciates attention and being looked after. Want me to ask if she has any single friends?” Blue asks.
“Yes. And put me on red alert if they break up.” Robin laughs.
Blue messages Emilie and she comes back quickly asking if Robin is free that night.
“Is tonight good? I need to see if Austin is free. She’s suggesting we meet here in the pool room and have pizza. Low key group of friends thing.” Blue says.
“Perfect. I have an easy escape if I don’t like her and you can go home with Austin if I do.” Robin laughs.
“Thought you wanted a relationship.” Blue laughs.
“Oh yes but you know I might get both. Invite Gervais and Jesse too, if Jesse is back. I want to see Gervais react to you on a date.” Robin says.
“Okay, I’ll go ask Gervais.” Blue says he stops into the lounge and calls Austin. He’s already heard from Emilie and will come by.
“When is Jesse back?” Blue asks Gervais.
“On his way now. Can we go eat?” Gervais asks.
“Sure. Do you two want to come and play pool tonight and get pizza?” Blue asks.
“Like you’ll have pizza. But yes of course, if I can stay awake.” Gervais says.
“Cool, I’ll just grab my card and Robin and you can stuff your face.” Blue says with a smile.
“Blue.” Gervais says grabbing Blue’s arm. “Thanks so much for looking after me. I really appreciate it. It would have been really s without you.”
“Anytime. Though don’t get sick on purpose.” Blue says hugging his friend.
The three hit the dining hall and Blue and Gervais eat and eat while Robin has a more modest portion.
“You can tell you two didn’t have a turkey dinner and pie and leftovers.” Robin laughs.
“Gervais has had hardly anything to eat in days. I’ve lived on soup and sandwiches. We’re both craving vitamins.” Blue says.
“We should have shopped properly but we didn’t expect the snow or me being sick.” Gervais says.
“We’ll prepare next year. Are we going to live together next year, now you’re staying?” Blue asks.
“I want to. What about you Gervais? Will you be with us or with Jesse?” Robin asks.
“With Blue, with you I mean.” Gervais says and gives Blue that look, sheepish desire.
Robin shakes his head and wishes he could get these two to see how stupid they are being.
“If we can all afford it I think we should go for the new dorm, similar to ours now but with bigger kitchen area and better bathrooms. Some suites have all singles. Though that wouldn’t suit Andy and Spence, if they want to stick with us.” Blue says.
“I think Spence wants to get an apartment. A suite with 3 or 4 singles would be amazing, if Elliot could join us.” Gervais says.
“I doubt he’ll want an expensive option. I hear it will have a pool and garden on the roof.” Robin says.
“I would love that so much. Though not much good when its snowing.” Blue says.
“We’ll talk to the others later. It’s a couple of months before we get to apply.” Robin says.
“Sure I just wanted to sort out the who part of it.” Blue says.
That evening Blue and Austin grab salad boxes from the dining room then join the others. Elliot is tagging along and so is George as Jesse is the only one from their suite who is back. Elliot has brought some vodka back from home and the guys decant it into water bottles to take with them along with some cups and soda.
“Do you not eat pizza either?” Elliot asks Austin.
“I do but only when it has veggie cheese, which is when I make it myself.” Austin says.
“Oh wow maybe you two are a good pair.” Elliot laughs and Blue punches his arm good naturedly.
When Emilie and Miles arrive they introduce Ally to Robin but as Blue helps make introductions he is aware of the spark between Robin and Emilie and feels guilty. He knew Robin would like Emilie but not that it would be mutual.
Still Robin is always a good date and is soon playing pool with Ally and getting to know her. They double up with Jesse and Gervais for their next game. Miles and Emilie are playing with George and Elliot. Blue and Austin are sat together chatting making the most of the extra time together.
Everyone is drinking and having fun. The couples playing pool switch round, and everyone is getting to know each other. Ally and Robin are getting along but every so often Emilie or Robin crack a joke that only they seem to get. Blue is mesmerized by what is unfolding and feels terrible for Miles.
After a couple of hours everyone is pretty drunk and just sat around talking.
“So would you ever have a foursome, just to see if your boyfriend is more into you than Gervais?” Elliot asks Austin.
“I really don’t know you well enough.” Austin says taken aback and pretty confused.
“What about you Jesse, would you let Blue into your bed to let Gervais get him out of his system?” Elliot presses making everyone except Robin uncomfortable. Robin just wishes he’s had the balls to ask.
“Gervais chose me. There is nothing for him to get out of his system. He had his chance to be with Blue but he chose me every time.” Jesse replies with confidence.
“So it doesn’t bother you that they showered together this weekend.” Elliot counters.
“Gervais was sick and I am grateful Blue looked after him. Blue told me about everything.” Jesse says surprising everyone.
“And me. I’m proud of him for putting his friend before his own comfort.” Austin says.
“Stop shit stirring.” Robin says even though he wants to know how everyone feels.
“Please we all want to understand it. I get that Jesse is maxing out with Gervais but Austin is hot and despite Blue being a clear ten he could get someone just as hot not in love with his best friend.” Elliot says.
“Have you seen anyone hotter than Blue on campus? Please he’s smart and beautiful and the best sex I’ve ever had. Have you seen his dick? I’m the luckiest guy in the world. Plus we are just starting out we have mystery. He and Gervais have none, nothing to learn, where is the fun in that?” Austin says.
“So what does Blue get out of this?” Emilie whispers to Robin.
“Nothing, from either of them.” Robin whispers back.
“We should have lunch some time.” Emilie says.
“I think we can do better than that.” Robin says and Emilie blushes and smiles.
Miles looks at his girlfriend from across the room and sighs, he knows he’s lost her. He looks round the room. He really likes this group and wants to hang out with them more. Ally holds no real interest, she’s cute but not his type. It’s a shame Blue is taken as Miles thinks they’d get on pretty well, though the food is a pain. Elliot is far too aggressive and clearly not a relationship guy. His eyes rest on George sat next to him. He’s not out but has been looking at Jesse occasionally.
“We should go on a date sometime.” Miles says to George without thinking things through.
“I’m not, you know.” George says quietly.
“I’m bi, I get crushes on so many people, it was confusing for a long time. Is Jesse your first boy crush?” Miles asks.
“I’ve never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. I thought I’d meet girls here who were my type but I haven’t yet. Sometimes I tell Jesse I’ve a date or need the room.” George admits.
“Let me give you my number, we can have lunch or play pool here anytime if you want to talk.” Miles says.
“Do you think Blue is the best looking guy in the world?” George asks suddenly.
“Maybe not the best but he’s very handsome and being such a good guy makes him glow like he was in twilight.” Miles says.
“I wondered when I met him if I felt how I did because I’d never met anyone who looked like he did. Like if I met some movie star in the flesh I’d be just as dumbstruck.” George says.
“So it’s Blue you like not Jesse?” Miles asks a little disappointed.
“I don’t know. I don’t have a thing for Jesse; I like him as a roommate but nothing more. Blue is just kind of breathtaking. I don’t know if I like him like that or if I just like to look at him.” George says.
“That I understand. Like Victoria’s secret models they look amazing but I’m not sure I’d know what to do if I had one.” Miles says laughing and George joins in.
“I have to go, I am so glad you persuaded me to come over tonight it was good to see more of your friends. I’ll call when I’m done tomorrow.” Austin says kissing Blue goodnight.
“Hope I can see you tomorrow. Are you sure I can’t sleep over?” Blue asks hopefully.
“Not tonight. I’m sorry I know my life is a pain. I need to be in top shape for next week I have so many boards and observed classes to get through.” Austin says.
“I understand. I just hate an empty bed.” Blue says.
“Me too. You are just too sexy to leave alone in the morning though.” Austin says and steals a final kiss.
The group breaks up and heads to their rooms.
“I’m sorry for earlier.” Elliot says to Blue.
“I’m glad you asked.” Robin says back in the suite.
“Why?” Blue asks.
“Because we heard firsthand how Robin feels about your relationship and it’s a long, long way from how you feel.” Robin says.
“I know.” Blue sighs.
“Are you getting anything out of it? I know you two looked cozy together tonight but you get that from me and Gervais too.” Robin says.
“Stop it. First you lot are on at me to get dating, to find someone, to not have hook-ups and now I find someone I like and have fun with and you’re all on at me to stop. I don’t see you giving Gervais or Jesse the same hassle.” Blue snaps.
“But you come to us for advice about sex and then your boyfriend claims it is amazing. We’re going to question you on it.” Robin says.
“I said I’d talk to him and I will. S is just one aspect and not the only or most important one for me. I’ll know not to ask for advice in future.” Blue says and heads to the bathroom slamming the door.
“What was that about?” Jesse asks coming in with Gervais.
“His frustration and Austin’s obliviousness.” Elliot says.
“That was so weird tonight, Austin going on about how great it was and us all knowing Blue isn’t feeling it at all.” Jesse says.
“He told you too?” Gervais asks surprised.
“He’s asked us all for advice and now is mad when we suggest maybe Austin isn’t right for him.” Robin says.
“But Austin really likes him. They can work on it once Blue opens up.” Gervais says quietly.
“Of course you want that. As long as Blue has a boyfriend you can pretend that all is well with you and Jesse.” Elliot says bitchily.
“All is well. We’re happy.” Gervais says.
“You love Blue. You don’t love Jesse. Blue would take you in a heartbeat and that scares you to death, being in a relationship that means something.” Robin says sick of all the pretense and excuses.
“How many times do you want me to be humiliated tonight?” Blue asks coming back in and going straight to his room.
“I’m going too. You all think I’m stupid being with Gervais when he isn’t in love with me. None of you bother to get to know me to know that maybe the relationship suits me this way.” Jesse says and leaves without kissing Gervais who looks at the door sadly.
“Come in my room, both of you.” Gervais says quietly.
“Look I’m sorry about that. I’m just tired of seeing you two look at each other like you do while being unhappy with your boyfriends.” Robin says.
“No its fine. You’re right but I can’t be with Blue until he decides to end things with Austin himself. I have to wait things out. Please don’t try and influence him to end it. He needs to figure everything out himself.” Gervais says.
“So you’re ready for him and want to be with him now?” Elliot asks.
“Yeah, I could have said something this weekend, he gave me the option but I knew it wasn’t the right time for him. I’m not waiting for perfect timing but I don’t want him to have any what ifs.” Gervais says.
“What about Jesse?” Robin asks.
“I’ll end it after finals. It would be cruel to do it right before. I do care about him a lot.” Gervais says.
“I joked with Blue earlier that I wanted to see you around Austin. Will you really cope with them together?” Robin asks.
“I will. It isn’t like Austin will come over here often as he has a single room. And I know how bad Blue finds the sex which is a small comfort.” Gervais says.
“I’d be long gone.” Elliot says.
“Blue has nothing to compare it to.” Robin says.
“And it might get better.” Gervais says.
“Yeah, I was pretty awful my first few times.” Elliot grins.
“Hey while you are here we were talking about our room next year, do you want to come in with us or will it be too expensive for you if we go for the new dorm?” Robin asks Elliot.
“With you 5?” Elliot asks.
“With three of us, I think Spence and Andy want to move off campus.” Gervais says.
“I am up for that, if I can afford it. I don’t know if I can.” Elliot admits.
“If you’re not proud Blue will likely help. He’d rather live with people he likes and pay the difference for you.” Gervais says quietly.
“I’ll talk to him. See if I can work it off or something.” Elliot says.
“Are you moving down the hall next semester?” Gervais asks.
“Yeah, after Robin let me down. I’m glad you guys have an in with the RAs and housing, made it really easy and I totally queue jumped. You getting beat up meant my safety was a factor or something.” Elliot smiles.
“I’m glad you’ll be close by.” Gervais says.
“Oh I will be hanging out in here all the time.” Elliot laughs.
“Good we need you for balance.” Robin says.
“Yeah since Spence and Andy became ghosts we need someone fun.” Gervais says.
“So what about you Robin, sparks were flying with the wrong girl tonight.” Elliot says.
“I got her number and she took mine and will call when she’s single but we’re having lunch this week too.” Robin says.
“You were like one of those cartoons when the heart pops out of the chest.” Gervais says.
“It felt like it. Blue said she was my type but I didn’t know just how right he would be. I feel bad because I liked Miles and I want to join you all at climbing next semester.” Robin says.
“So when you know you know is real.” Elliot says.
“I guess so. She was so perfect for me.” Blue says.
“Blue and his magic senses.” Gervais says.
“If it comes off I owe him big time.” Robin says.
“How can he not read people for himself?” Elliot asks.
“I have no idea. He just doesn’t see himself as desirable. He doesn’t notice when people notice him. Did you see George practically drooling over him tonight?” Gervais asks.
“I didn’t know George was gay.” Elliot says interested, he thinks George’s ultra nerdiness is very cute.
“He isn’t out. I thought he’d been seeing a girl. Maybe he is undecided.” Gervais says.
“I would like to help him explore.” Elliot laughs.
“I’ll set something up tomorrow with me and Jesse, low key not a date. Movies?” Gervais asks.
“Yeah okay. That would be good. Robin come too to make it not a date?” Elliot asks.
“I am not being the 5th wheel. I’ll come if Blue will. Then I have someone to talk to.” Robin says.
“Deal, just 6 nerds going to a movie.” Elliot grins.
“You so can’t pass for a nerd.” Gervais jokes.
“Watch me.” Gervais says.
“Hey what’s up?” Robin asks as he comes into the room to find Blue crying on his bed.
“I’m sorry for shouting before. I just feel shit and confused.” Blue says.
“I’m sorry for judging your relationship. I need to back off and live my own life.” Robin says slipping onto the bed beside Blue.
“I wish Austin wanted me around more, we can’t sort things out when we only have little bits of time. Tonight was nice, I do get something from being with him it isn’t all one way. I hate that you’ve only heard me complain.” Blue says.
“You don’t complain, you ask for constructive help. We’re all jumping the gun because you haven’t spoken to him. If I found out my girlfriend was faking it or not having a good time and I’d not noticed I’d feel so shit, he’ll want to fix it.” Robin says.
“Yeah I thought that too. I don’t think I’m faking it. I mean I act loving I don’t just pump away with a look of anger but I don’t make a big fuss or say it was amazing after.” Blue says.
“Do you when you do other stuff?” Robin asks curious as to how dense Austin is.
“Oh yeah, I’m not loud or anything but I let him know I had fun.” Blue says.
“It’ll be okay when you talk to him.” Robin says.
“Are you breaking Miles and Emilie up?” Blue asks.
“That is up to her. You were right she’s my type, 100%.” Robin says.
“And you are hers. I feel so bad as Miles found Austin for me, I need to find someone for him.” Blue says.
“Hey we’re all going to the movies tomorrow. Invite him and find out who he’s looking for. If it’s not too awkward me being there.” Robin says.
“Okay I will. Sleep with me tonight?” Blue asks.
“Yeah, back in a mo.” Robin says and hugs his friend before going to the bathroom.