I look over at Alexander, he’s still so beautiful. The time on the island has tanned us both and we’re lean from the limited diet and active days.
It has been amazing. We know everything about each other, no secrets, no feelings suppressed. We’re a strong team and we’re almost ready to face reality.
Alexander is more than ready, I’ve held us back. I love being here with him. Focusing only on each other and day to day tasks has been joy. I needed a break, not just the break I had in the clinic but a real break from reality, from people wanting and expecting things from me.
Alexander gets me like no one ever did. I could not dream of a better husband and I know I am a good husband to him. Loving him is so easy now, we can read each other’s moods and guess the other’s needs. We barely need to talk. But we do talk, for hours and hours. Sometimes we light a fire and sit on the beach talking all night long. Some days we’re out fishing and don’t say a word.
We’ve not been more than a few feet apart since we got married and we are yet to grow tired of it. The thought of not seeing him for any length of time is something I don’t want to face.
“Ready to go home?” Alexander asks.
“No. I want to stay here forever.” I reply, it is a conversation we’ve had daily for the last week.
“Our house is ready.” Alexander says.
“And we’ve a wedding to get to.” I reply.
“I don’t want to get dressed.” Alexander says.
“A whole day in clothes, you can barely manage a few hours when we go to the mainland.” I laugh.
“I really don’t want you to be dressed. You look so good.” Alexander says.
“I feel good and you look amazing.” I say.
“A real hot shower with products sounds good though.” Alexander says.
“And fluffy towels after.” I say.
“It’s not forever.” Alexander says.
“We’ll be back.” I agree.
We stare at our boat with our bag in it. Look at each other and silently dress in shorts and a shirt. I look at Blue and laugh.
“What?” He asks.
“You best put underwear on.” I say his junk visible through the worn denim.
“You too.” He laughs.
We dress again and head back to reality.
Felix and Gavin meet us at the airport. We’ve managed not to be recognized the whole time and are feeling confident that our peak fame is over and we’re just two guys coming home from honeymoon.
“Wow you are so tanned.” Gavin says.
I stare at them tongue tied completely forgetting how to talk to people other than Alexander.
“It’s good to see you two.” Alexander says. Felix and Gavin look happy. Incredibly happy. “So good.” I echo finally finding some words. “Where’s your things?” Gavin asks. “This is it.” I say holding up our one battered bag and the duty free shopping. “Let’s go.” Felix smiles. “How’s the wedding planning going?” Alexander asks once we’re in the car. “All done. Thanks for letting us use your place, your landscapers have done an amazing job. It is going to be perfect.” Felix says. “And is the house okay, your house?” I ask. “Yes, we love it. We love the bathing and stepping onto the deck straight from the tub.” Gavin says with a big grin. “It is so convenient for work and we just love it. We feel properly settled. Thank-you so much.” Felix says. “How’s school?” I ask Gavin. “For me, brilliant, I’m doing great work, getting published. I feel like having Felix by my side is the confidence boost I needed.” Gavin says. “He gets offers all the time from industry.” Felix says proudly. “And your work is going well?” Alexander asks. “Yeah it is. I’ve been working on another couple of cities so I’ve had to travel some but I found some great people. Things are going really well for us. Honestly stability at home has made all the difference for both of us.” Felix says. “No more stressful dating, no trying to be who we’re not. Monogamy and marriage are liberating for me.” Gavin says. “Hey we’re not married yet.” Felix laughs. “I feel like we are.” Gavin blushes. “Me too.” Felix says quietly. “What about the others? Any news?” Alexander asks and I feel tense. Felix and Gavin are the only friends we’ve spoken to since we got married. “Brian and Jamie will be here soon. It took longer to get everything sorted than they thought. They both have jobs and they will stay with us while they find somewhere to live. Tom bought a house up the coast and started his theatre job. He’s happy, dating around. He asks after you a lot.” Felix begins. “He’s not going to be back in our lives.” I say adamantly. Time has not healed all my wounds and my anger towards my mother and Tom still lingers. “Bobbie has hooked a sugardaddy and seems really happy. We see them out and about sometimes. Harry is lonely and pretty down. After things didn’t work out with Tom he dated a little but no one clicked, we’re pretty worried about him.” Felix says. “We’ve got a heap of guys coming to the wedding to try and set him up with.” Gavin says. “It is so frustrating that Jay couldn’t keep a lid on the crazy because those two really do want the same things.” Felix says. “How is Jay? And Eric?” Alexander asks tentatively. I tense further, it has been bliss not having to think of my husband’s exes for so long. “Jay has been in treatment for most the time since you’ve been gone. Mart and John really laid down the law with him. He’s doing okay, long way to go. He’d appreciate a visit. I know it’s a big ask but he would.” Felix says. “And Eric?” I ask wanting to get it over with. “I bet you could have predicted it. The show did well, despite the fakery, pushed Eric’s profile right up and it went to his head. He does get a lot more work but it isn’t what he dreamed of. He’s not entirely sober but sticking to weed and alcohol and I think that is as clean as he’ll get.” Felix says. “Thanks for organizing moving our things up here.” I say as we get out at the house. It looks amazing, pretty intimidating but really cool. I can’t believe it’s ours. “Least we could do. Your cars are in the garage. Here are the keys. Alarm code. The paperwork on how to rest is in here.” Gavin says walking them through the practical stuff. “We have a lot of shopping to do.” I say looking at the mostly empty rooms. “You sure do. Starting with soap and deodorant.” Felix says. “Sorry we’ve been travelling for a day and we’re pretty used to our own smell now.” I laugh. “We’ll leave you to get on with it. Please come to ours for dinner tomorrow.” Gavin says. “Here, whiskey and cologne. We owe you like a gazillion favors.” I say handing them the duty free bag. “Are you kidding? We loved coming up here and using the beach on weekends. Checking up on the build and sorting your things was no big deal.” Felix says. As soon as they leave Alexander and I peel off our clothes. It’s the longest we’ve been without being intimate in months and the longest we’ve worn clothes. “I need the bathroom.” I say. “No showering, I want you while you still smell of my island boy again. Please?” Alexander looks at me with his big eyes. “Let me go get ready. Then out by the pool or something? We don’t want to stink up the clean bed.” I say and kiss him. I find Alexander on a lounger by the pool, he’s naked and dozing and still takes my breath away. I love him so much. I snuggle up next to him on the daybed and he grins and kisses me. “My sexy husband by our beautiful big pool.” I say kissing him back. “It came out perfect. I love everything I’ve seen so far. We finally have our home.” Alexander says. “We walked in didn’t let me carry you.” I say sadly. “Yeah would have been awkward with the others here. But maybe it’s good because we’re equals here, it’s our house.” Alexander says. “Our home.” I say and feel so good. We fuck hard on the pool side. Alexander pounding me until I can’t breathe. I love every moment. “Sitting with our toes in the water after a great fuck. Not so different from the island.” Alexander says as we sit on the edge of the pool cooling off. “I love this pool. It is so sexy.” I say. We use the outdoor shower for the first time, it is bliss to have a strong blast of water on our backs and I know we’re both having flashbacks to our first vacation together. We lie in the sun to dry off not in any rush to do anything. “We really do need to go and shop.” I say. “I know. That shower was good but I’m still salt encrusted.” Alexander says. “Let’s go find some clothes and see if we can remember how to shop in a normal store.” I say. “And if we can remember how to drive.” Alexander laughs. My Alexander is so carefree and happy now. He has let go of everything and is the man he wants to be. Neither of us is sure what we’re going to do next but we’re not stressing about it. Together and happy are the only rules right now and they are easy to stick to. In our dressing room Felix and Gavin have put our clothes away for us. We dress slowly, laughing at how we look in smarter clothes. The cotton of a clean t-shirt feels nice and soft against my skin and it smells so good. Maybe being home isn’t so bad. We spend a couple of hours shopping for toiletries and food. We need more furniture but we have the things from both our houses but we want to buy most things together. “Want to eat out tonight?” I ask in the supermarket. “No, I want to go home. I know it’s been forever since we’ve been out but I want us to make something together and eat outside and watch the ocean. I’m not up to other people yet.” Alexander says. “Perfect.” I say and grab his hand.“You’re perfect.” Alexander says.“You are too.” I say, We’re crazy in love and happy and just want to hide away from the world. Back at the house we step into the biggest shower together and scrub off months of dried on salt. Running our hands over each other feels soooo good and as soon as the suds are gone I sink to my knees, his cock in my mouth my own in my hand, knowing he loves watching me as much as he enjoys being sucked and I love his dick. “It’ll be easy to cut ourselves off from the world up here and I don’t know if that’s a good thing.” I say as we sit down to dinner outside. “Yeah, that was the whole idea but however much I love, love, love it being just us, we can’t hide forever.” Alexander says. “We’re going to dinner tomorrow. Felix and Gavin looked so happy together. I’m really excited for their wedding.” I say. “We’re letting everyone in that day.” Alexander says. “And it will be fun. There will be people I don’t want to see here and at the bachelor party.” I say a little worried. “I know, but there are people we do want to see. And we can just hang out together.” Alexander says. “We didn’t run out of things to talk about yet.” I laugh. “Lets go to a movie tomorrow. It’ll get us out but we won’t have to deal with anyone.” Alexander suggests. “That sounds good. Babe are you happy to be home?” I ask. “I’m with you.” Alexander says simply. We have fun at the movies and I keep an eye on Alexander to see if watching a film reignites his ambition but it doesn’t seem to. He seems to be relaxed in no hurry for anything. Just like me.
I keep looking at Peter to remind myself that everything is real, we’re home in our beautiful house and we’re married and it’s real. Our honeymoon was like a dream and I was never sure it was real. Peter loves me and is the best husband. I want to shout it from the rooftops that he’s mine and let the world know how great he is. At the same time I want to keep him hidden away, keep him all for myself. We get out the car at my old place. It is weird seeing it now. I bought it to be near Peter, it represented hope for me. We had some happy times here but it never felt like our home. Peter slips his hand in mine and smiles at me. “Ready?” Peter asks. “Sure baby.” I say and kiss his cheek. The house is so different. It looks like a home and it’s as if it was built for Felix and Gavin. “Wow this looks so different.” Peter says. “It is totally you guys.” I laugh. “We know. This is why you owe us nothing for the help on you new place. I swear the minute we moved in we knew for sure we were going to work out. We knew we wanted to get married before but this sealed it, all doubts about it being too fast were gone.” Gavin says. “That’s my man.” Felix grins. “You really are so happy.” Peter says with a big grin. “Tell us all the wedding plans. Best thing we ever did getting married, I wish we had years ago.” I say. “Good to hear. We are so excited.” Gavin says. “We have everything in place. We’re doing the whole thing on your lawn, ceremony and breakfast. The rehearsal dinner we are having a cookout here. Our families haven’t met yet and so we want it to be a low key all day event.” Felix says. “Is it just family?” I ask. “You two are family. Of course you’re invited.” Felix laughs. “Just tell us what we need to bring.” Peter says. “Booze. It would really help us out if you guys managed that for us.” Felix says. “Of course. For the wedding too?” I ask. “We’ve got all that ordered, my parents are covering the catering.” Gavin says. “Cool well anything we can do. We’re sorry we’ve not been here to help.” I say. “We’ve had fun planning it and doing it to our budget and not yours means our families will be more comfortable.” Felix says. “How did your families take not being at your wedding?” Gavin asks. “We’re the only family that matters.” Peter says firmly. I’m not pushing him either way to get back in touch with his mom, they were so close, we were so close and I’m certain in time they’ll work it out but for now he needs my full support. “So what next for you two?” Felix asks. “We’ve both been writing a lot. We have some commitments we have to fulfill but mostly we need to be together and we’re not worrying about working.” I say. “Really?” Gavin asks surprised. “We have both done a lot in our careers so far and we are lucky that we can afford to take our time to decide our next move.” Peter says. “I’m glad you two are back to being one.” Felix says. “You two are the same.” I say. “We are lucky. I think with all of our friends we can see how much timing plays into relationships working. You two being a prime example, although I can never figure out how you two broke and didn’t speak for years.” Gavin says. “I was stupid and didn’t realize what I was losing.” I say. “I didn’t know I could ask him to stay.” Peter says. “We’ll never be apart again, not even for a day.” I say. “So no more movies?” Felix asks. “Not unless Peter is there too.” I say and he smiles at me. “Won’t you be bored, you’ve both always been over-scheduled?” Felix asks. “Because we were apart. We had to fill the empty gaps.” Peter says. “All those nights we spent in bars looking for a guy for you when none of them were ever going to be Alexander.” Felix laughs.“When you stopped looking there was Gavin.” Peter says. “It’s so nice to be happy, to know he is just as in to me, to not be settling.” Felix says. “At least you didn’t marry your compromise.” I say. “Who you calling a compromise?” Peter laughs and I kiss him. “Thanks so much for dinner. It was good for us to get out.” I say as we leave. “Yeah thanks for even talking to us again after we took off.” Peter says. “See you at the bachelor party.” Felix says as we go and we nod and smile. “Do you think we get to have this normal life now?” Peter asks in the car. “Hanging out at home, dinner with friends?” I ask. “No photographers, no agents, no prying into our lives.” Peter says. “I think so.” I say entirely unsure. Can I really give up my career entirely?