The suite saga 74

As much as he wants answers Blue bides his time. He sends a message to everyone to suggest hanging out in the suite on Friday night, making sure to ask Gervais to invite Chris.

There is no climbing this week and he wants to see who else was involved and make them feel as shit as he does.

“What movie are we watching?” Elliot asks as Blue sits down.

“I need to say a few things first.” Blue says as all the guys except George drift in.

“Why are you here?” Chris asks glaring at Blue.

“I need to talk to everyone.” Blue says.

“I don’t need to hear anything from you.” Chris says.

“Yes you do. Shut the f up and listen.” Blue says shocking the rest of the room.

“Is this about us moving in to your room? Because we’ve put the last of your stuff in ours.” Elliot says.

“Where is George?” Blue asks.

“He’s moved into mine.” Jesse says.

“Funny two of us originals pushed out by you sickos.” Blue says.

“What is going on?” Andy asks surprised at Blue’s manner.

“Robin and Gervais hatched a sick plot to get me and George to break up. I’m betting most of you knew. I know Chris knew, he told me all about it. Looks like you all knew except the Ds. Nice. None of you thought to warn me?” Blue asks.

“I told them I wouldn’t go along with anything.” Spence says.

“Thanks.” Blue looks at Spence with surprise.

“Look we had to try. You were a mess with George.” Andy says.

“And you didn’t trust me to work through it myself? Why do you all think you can insert yourselves into my relationship?” Blue asks.

“You’ve always helped us without asking. You were in trouble.” Gervais says.

“So you decided the best way to help me would be to torture me, break my heart and ruin any relationship I had with Chris and Bea? You planned to treat me like some sort of science experiment a lab rat.” Blue shouts.

“It wasn’t like that.” Robin says.

“I’m not following.” Dylan says.

“At the party Gervais told Blue he wanted him back to get him to break up with George. It worked and showed Blue up for being the scum he is. He’d go after his own brother’s boyfriend. Well joke was on him because Gervais was never going to leave me and now he’s alone and blaming everyone but himself.” Chris says like some sort of cartoon villain.

“But Blue was planning to break up with George before the party, I helped him move that afternoon.” Dylan says.

“And I never went through with it.” Gervais says quietly.

“You were going to though. Chris was encouraging you, trying to set me up and you and Robin were plotting to do it.

You all thought I needed to get away from George when it was Robin, Chris and Gervais who were trying to really mess up my life. And all of you thought that was okay. You all thought I could cope with a couple more heartbreaks no problem.

But what really hurts is that you all thought I was the type of guy who would try and get with my brother’s boyfriend. You all thought that I would put Chris through the sort of pain I went through this summer.

That’s the other thing little bro, your plot didn’t expose me it exposed you. I’m through with all of you.” Blue says and leaves.

“But George found the two of you in bed.” Chris says to Gervais as the door slams.

“Fully clothed, Blue was taking care of me, I had a panic attack at the party.” Gervais says.

“You guys are sick.” Dylan says and he makes to leave, DeShawn and Deke follow him.

“Did you know what they planned?” Spence asks Andy who looks down.

“I didn’t know exactly but I thought it would get Gervais and Blue back together.” Andy says.

“Thanks.” Chris says.

“Do any of you know Blue at all?” Jesse asks and they look at him blankly.

“Come on babe its not our drama.” Elliot says.

“No? Blue has subsidized our room all semester, he’s helped us out so many times even though we’re not close. We owe him. I can’t believe these guys all thought so little of him. Gervais are you really so arrogant you think you can just snap and get him back? After everything you’ve done to him. I just don’t get how you can treat him like this.” Jesse says.

“He’s no saint. He used to try and get with Gervais when you were dating him.” Elliot points out.

“Yeah but Gervais was fucking Jesse while telling Blue he loved him and leaning on him emotionally. Blue was his boyfriend in all but name.” Robin says.

“And I hated him for it but he backed off when I asked him to.” Jesse says.

“But he tried to snake on your guy.” Chris says satisfied.

“It wasn’t like that. Yes he asked me to leave Jesse but I was encouraging him all the time. I was in the wrong because I was the one in a relationship. And anyway I asked him to leave Austin for me over and over.” Gervais says.

“I’m going to see him.” Robin says getting up.

“Let me know how he is.” Gervais says.

“Yeah, if he’ll talk to me.” Robin says.

“I’m sorry if I’ve messed up your friendship.” Gervais says.

“We’ll bounce back.” Robin says and heads off.

“Can you just go?” Gervais says to Chris once back in his room.

“Why?” Chris asks.

“Because I am so mad at you I can’t look at you and I don’t want to say anything I shouldn’t.” Gervais says.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” Chris says and leaves. He wants to stay and state his case but from what he’s heard tonight Gervais and Blue were a much bigger deal as a couple than Gervais has let on. He knew Blue had helped Gervais through bad times but Gervais had almost painted it as they were friends who tried a relationship and it didn’t work so they went back to being friends.

Tonight he learned that Gervais has tried to end two of Blue’s relationships, and he can’t help but wonder whether the motives for getting Blue to leave George were something other than concern for a friend.

“Do you think he’ll forgive us?” Andy asks Gervais.

“Not for a while.” Gervais says patting his bed.

“I wish I could have dropped you in it and said I didn’t agree with the plan. You didn’t even tell me it but as soon as the words were out of Chris’s mouth I thought maybe there was more to it. Are you ready to go back to him?” Andy asks.

“Why do you always want us back together? Even when you had your own crush on him.” Gervais asks with a smile.

“Neither of you lets it slip often but I know you still love each other. I saw you guys for a second the other night before he shut the door, you were clinging to him as he rescued you. I get that Chris existing and being who he is has made things more complicated than either of you can handle. I’ve no idea what the solution is or how long you have to wait. I get that you have something real with Chris but it isn’t the same.” Andy says.

“I love Chris. No it isn’t the same but it is a whole lot easier. I know that what Blue and I had was special, I really know and moving on has been tough for us both. But I have moved on. With Blue there was so much pressure for it to be perfect, not from him but from me and all of you. It was just too intense. I will love him forever but I cannot be with him.” Gervais says hoping Andy will accept it and move on too.

“I get that you want me to back off and I will but are you sure? Are you certain there isn’t a part of you that wants him back and wants that life you planned together?” Andy asks gently.

“It was a fantasy. A dream. It wasn’t a plan.” Gervais says.

“Are you sure? How will you feel if he builds that life with someone else?” Andy asks.

“I’ll be there and so will you. We’ll be there for Sunday dinner drinking his wine, all of our kids playing together, fighting and laughing.” Gervais says and Andy knows he can’t push any more. He can see plan on Gervais face that he still wants that life with Blue.

“I can’t wait.” Andy says.

“We’re wishing our youth away wanting to be parents and living that life.” Gervais laughs.

“It makes sense that the two of us want a chance of a normal family life. A chance to give some kids what we couldn’t have.” Andy says.

“It would be just as easy for us to both go the other way and say we’d never have kids so we don’t fuck them up.” Gervais says.

“What can we do over break to get Blue back onside?” Andy asks.

“Just be nice. He won’t want us groveling he’ll feel uncomfortable. I plan to go ahead and do most of his chores for him and volunteer any time Clara asks him to do anything.” Gervais says.

“Do you want to come in with me and Spence tonight? I don’t like you on your own.” Andy says.

“I’m okay. I can go in with Robin when he gets back if I’m feeling lonely as I expect he’ll be the same.” Gervais says.

 

“Is he okay?” Robin asks John as he lets him in.

“I’ve been out, just got back. What has happened?” John asks.

“He and Chris have had a huge misunderstanding and it’s all my fault. He’s mad at all of us. He’s right to be we were really stupid coming up with plans to break him and George up. Some jokes got taken seriously and it’s all a mess.” Robin sighs.

“This whole thing with his family is unreal. I can imagine everything gets blown up into a big issue right now. Good luck.” John says with a smile.

 

“Can we talk?” Robin asks.

“Sure. I’ve had my big moment. I’m calm now.” Blue smiles.

“I hoped that would be the case. It was just a throwaway thing I said. I didn’t take it seriously and I never expected it to be put into action. I thought we were planning to monopolize your time and be affectionate and generally wind up George up.” Robin says and Blue smiles.

“I couldn’t work it out. I didn’t think you or Gervais would do that to me, not really. But Chris sounded so sure and then no one denied it tonight. With you and Bea back together I couldn’t see why you’d mess with Gervais and Chris.” Blue says.

“I wouldn’t. He didn’t do it either and I really don’t think he would have unless he really, really feared for you. He’s really upset.” Robin says.

“He should be.” Blue says and grins at Robin.

“None of this is unfixable then?” Robin asks.

“Of course not. You know that. You know I am useless at staying mad. I’m just wary of Gervais. We were getting close again as friends, really close and this whole thing has given me time to think and while he is dating Chris we can’t be friends at all.” Blue says.

“Why not?” Robin asks.

“His first priority is Chris and I have been feeling really weird about the whole thing. Being with Gervais was super intense and I’ve told him things I’ve never told anyone and we shared so much, good and bad. I feel weird that when he tells Chris about things he is telling Chris about my life too. I trust Gervais but I’m not his priority and I shouldn’t be.” Blue says.

“Do you feel the same way about me dating Bea?” Robin asks.

“Not so much because I’m getting to know her myself now. She started off learning about me through you but has been more than open to my side of everything and she doesn’t care about relationship stuff, just my home and momma.” Blue says.

“And you know I’d never tell her about certain events between us.” Robin says.

“Sure and neither will l. But Gervais might tell Chris, not in a specific way but a my ex and I had a 3 with a straight friend general way that is obvious when you’re the only straight male we hang out with.” Blue says.

“I don’t think that Gervais would intentionally drop any of your secrets to him. I get why you’re uneasy. I don’t like Chris much and that’s because I really only hear Bea’s take on him. I know he must be alright as Gervais is with him and he seems to treat him really well.” Robin says.

“I hate him.” Blue says.

“Because he wanted Gervais to bait you?” Robin asks.

“Yeah, he was gleeful at being proved right about me. He was like Dylan at his worst. He wants me to be the bad guy and I don’t know why. The way he guilt tripped Bea over not telling me has bugged me too. He is just so money orientated that I worry for Gervais too.” Blue says.

“I don’t have a different opinion. Other than as I said he treats Gervais well.” Robin says.

“He does. So I will back off and leave them be.” Blue says.

“Will you live here for good?” Robin asks.

“No I’ll come back after break. I love the pool too much and the kitchen.” Blue smiles.

“I can see us sharing one of these senior year.” Robin says.

“I was talking to Gervais about buying somewhere between us. The 5 of us. I know your parents were keen on the idea. But now I feel like maybe it’s too risky.” Blue says.

“My mom is super keen on getting somewhere. She’s been keeping an eye on listings and wants to look. Agree it needs to be just the five of us but Gervais might want to live with Chris.” Robin says.

“He might by august but for now he likes having his own space.” Blue says.

“I’ll speak with Andy and Spence as they might be looking for somewhere for just them.” Robin says.

“Me too over break we can talk with Momma.” Blue says.

“I’m glad we’re okay.” Robin says.

“You knew we would be.” Blue laughs.

Blue lies back and smiles to himself after Robin leaves. He feels a lot better and wishes he hadn’t stewed on everything all week. His friends are still his friends and they just wanted to protect him.

“Can I come in?” Gervais asks surprising Blue.

“Sure.” Blue says smiling.

“I called John and he let me in. I didn’t want you to refuse to let me in.” Gervais says.

“I’m not mad at you anymore.” Blue shrugs.

“I hoped. Can I stay over?” Gervais asks.

“I don’t think Chris would like it.” Blue says.

“I’ve not really seen you since the party and so I haven’t had a chance to thank you for what you did.” Gervais says.

“I don’t need thanking. Anyone would have done the same.” Blue says.

‘I know Robin’s plan was stupid. I don’t even think he meant it as a real plan and I should never have repeated it to Chris I was so mad at you when I did, you were going back to George and I was frustrated. When Chris…” Gervais says and Blue cuts him off.

“Please don’t talk to me about Chris, not conversations you have alone. It’s really freaking me out.” Blue says.

“I never talk to him about you.” Gervais says getting it.

“How have you been this week?” Blue asks.

“Pretty jumpy and anxious but I’m okay, been to the doctor, checked my meds, been to therapy.” Gervais says.

“What happened? You have managed for ages.” Blue says.

“I think just stress and it was so crowded.” Gervais says.

“It was so crowded and we didn’t help clean up.” Blue smiles.

“You’re being nicer than I expected. I would never, ever have hurt you like that. I really hope you know that.” Gervais says.

“Did you ever think that it wouldn’t work?” Blue asks.

“I didn’t. I really am that arrogant that I thought you would jump at the chance for us to be together. I would never have asked but I never contemplated you saying no.” Gervais says.

“Because deep down you wanted it to work. We cannot be around each other. Not while you’re with Chris. He and I will never get along while we’re both marking our territory over you.” Blue says.

“I need you.” Gervais says.

“You cope without me.” Blue says.

“Please Blue.” Gervais says.

“I can’t. I can’t risk feelings developing for you again. Thanksgiving and after the party, it felt too good and it wasn’t one sided. I know it wasn’t.” Blue says.

“I know. We have to be friendly to get through winter break but after that.” Gervais says.

“Are you okay if I move back to the suite after break?” Blue asks.

“Yeah of course. I’m not the one who wants this, not this time.” Gervais says.

“We both need it. I hate it, we were in such a good place. This stupid reveal messed everything up, me and George, me and you being friends. I wish I didn’t know.” Blue says.

“Me too. It’s changed our whole world. Sometimes I wish I’d never met Chris, I wish I’d never been to that club that night.” Gervais says.

“But you love him.” Blue says.

“I do. Ugh I shouldn’t be talking to you about this.” Gervais says.

“Then don’t.” Blue says.

“I’ll never know for sure if he wanted me for me. And I don’t know if I stay with him for me or for you.” Gervais says.

“And that is why we can’t be close right now. You need to figure out you and him separately to me. Like you were doing before. You need to forget that we were friends and that he and I are related. I might have forgiven you and Robin but I can’t forgive him. And I can’t talk to you about it because you have to defend him. I feel like we could always talk about the hard stuff together and right now I can’t confide in you and I don’t want to have to censor myself with you. It’s all or nothing with us whether we’re friends or in a relationship.” Blue says.

“We do not do casual.” Gervais says.

“I wish we could. Andy and I flip between the two so easily without being offended but I get so annoyed when you are like that.” Blue says.

“Me too. That’s why we always blow up and scream to be left alone. I love you for making the choice for me. For not making me choose between you and Chris, for letting me put our friendship on hold.” Gervais says.

“It is on hold and not forever.” Blue says.

“I know. God I hate that I did this to you a couple of months ago, it hurts so much. I didn’t want to hurt you again and I really did.” Gervais says.

“You did. Friends or not we have to be honest with each other. No more lying to make things easier or manipulate each other.” Blue says.

“Deal. I am going to miss you like hell.” Gervais says.

“Me too.” Blue says wiping a tear before hugging Gervais goodbye.