The guys are all excited as they pile into the cars on Friday. Spence has Deke and Jesse in his car, Dylan is taking Elliot, Andy and George and Blue has Birch, Gervais and Robin.
“I really hope we get some warm weather.” Birch says as they get going.
“Anything feels warm after the last couple of months.” Blue says.
“Be a bit cold for swimming though.” Gervais says.
“I’m up for it.” Blue grins.
“So what’s the deal with you and DeShawn for this week?” Andy asks Dylan.
“We’re pretty open any way but he said there was no way he was putting any restrictions on my final spring break.” Dylan laughs.
“Great stuff. I can’t wait to sleep in for a week and laze on the beach. This semester has felt stressful.” Andy says.
“It has been stressful. All the drama with Chris. The breakups. The room swapping. I am looking forward to a good sleep on one of those fancy mattresses. I might not get out of bed all week.” George says.
“Thanks for making me come. The thought of one of Spence’s beds is making my back buzz in anticipation. I hate dorm beds.” Elliot says.
“l am so happy Spence and I are still friends. You and Jesse seem to be managing okay.” Andy says,
“It is so hard living together. All the things that made him cute when we were together are just annoying now and I cannot wait for summer.” Elliot says.
“My mom will be making him keep his room tidy this summer.” Dylan laughs.
“Are you having sun or looking for someone new?” Andy asks.
“I’m easy for any guy with his own place.” Elliot laughs.
“l can’t believe I’m the only one in a relationship.” Dylan says.
“Are Blue and Birch not together?” Elliot asks.
“No they’re just friends.” Andy says.
“Friends who go on 2 or 3 dates a week.” Dylan says.
“They’re not dating.” Andy says petulantly.
“They are. They have a standing Wednesday date, they brunch with Willow every Saturday and hang out at Birch’s place after. They often go to a late movie after yoga on a Thursday. They are dating,” George says.
“Birch is sleeping with me not Blue.” Andy says.
“Are you sure?” Dylan asks not meaning to needle Andy but genuinely curious.
“Blue is dating Birch and fucking Tyler? And Birch dates Blue and fucks you? Weird setup but pretty nice for them if they don’t have that chemistry.” Elliot says.
Andy sits and sulks. He hates that they don’t see as his and really hates that Blue still has Birch and Tyler.
“How are you both feeling about being around the exes for a week?” Deke asks.
“Its okay for me we’re still close friends.” Spence says.
“I was looking forward to a break from Elliot. I am utterly dreading seeing him whoring it up all week.” Jesse says.
“Same.” Deke says.
“I’m used to Andy being that way anyway.” Spence says.
“Are you staying faithful to your mystery guy this week?” Deke asks.
“I’m still one foot in one foot out. He’s great, mature, handsome, ambitious and caring. He is on paper perfect. But I know med school will be tough and he won’t have time for me. I keep meeting guys who would be perfect down the line. I hate that my instinct is always to settle down. I’m like a bloody lesbian, I always want to be domestic, make a home together straight away. I’m not saying I’m a natural homemaker like Blue, but it’s what makes me feel good.” Spence says.
“I’m the same. I want to be all in right away. Scares guys off.” Jesse says.
“I’m fighting against it now. I know I should just date and fool around but it isn’t fun for me and I’m so busy I need someone who is happy with snatched time.” Spence says.
“You and Andy should never have broken up. I get why it happened but you two had turned it around. If you had gone skiing or whatever like usual you’d still be together.” Jesse says.
“But Andy is mooning over Blue and not me.” Spence says sadly.
“You think they’ll ever get together?” Jesse asks.
“No way.” Deke says.
“No?” Spence asks curious.
“Blue doesn’t see him that way. Never will.” Deke says.
“l don’t know. I think if they end up in business together Blue will look around and see Andy is his best option.” Spence says.
“That’s forever away. I’d bet on Gervais and Blue being back together before then.” Jesse says.
“I wish they would. I wish they would right now. I had sex with them a few weeks back and they were so amazing together. Tiny little things, adjustments for each other. They totally included me but at the same time they were entirely focused on each other. At times they are back to how they were, they have those moments of total synchronicity. Its beautiful.” Spence says.
“I feel like them not making it means my own breakup with Gervais was a waste.” Jesse says.
“Really? But you and Elliot were so good together,” Deke says.
“Physically Gervais is my ultimate dream man. Plus he’s smart and sensitive and I was crazy for him. I was never crazy about Elliot which made us more stable but I’m actually less upset by this breakup than when Gervais left me.” Jesse admits.
“You were easier to get along with when you were Elliot than with Gervais. But that was mostly as we were all rooting for Blue and Gervais.” Spence admits.
“I’m not compromising next time. I want someone I’m into who is fully in to me and meets my physical ideal. That might make me sound shallow but I’m aiming high.” Jesse says.
“I don’t have an idea. Andy, Dylan and DeShawn are all totally different but I loved them all and they all made me shoot like crazy.” Deke says shyly.
“Have you anything going on now?” Spence asks.
“No, I mess around with my suitemates a lot. I’m happy without a boyfriend right now.” Deke says.
“I’m sorry we got between you and DeShawn.” Spence says.
“I’m pretty much over it now.” Deke says.
“So no ex se this week?” Jesse asks.
“I’d not say no.” Deke grins.
At the house they all run round bagging rooms and unpacking. Blue sorts the kitchen first and is last to get a room. He doesn’t mind being in a smaller room. Now they know that there will be a cleaning service coming in they don’t worry about sharing.
Blue grabs himself a beer and runs a bath. Katelyn made him some bath bombs for Christmas and he hasn’t had a chance to use them.
“That smells amazing.” Gervais says sticking his head in the door.
“Come talk to me while I bathe.” Blue says.
“l need to piss first. Was looking for an empty bathroom. Lots of prepping going on.” Gervais laughs.
“Go ahead. I’ve seen you pee before.” Blue laughs.
“When I could barely stand. You did so much for me. Do so much still.” Gervais says with a smile.
“Get in with me. You’re only little.” Blue says when Gervais finishes.
“You sure?” Gervais asks.
“Get in.” Blue grins.
Gervais leans back against Blue’s chest and lets out a long sigh.
“Feels good right?” Blue says.
“Oh you are still my comfiest pillow.” Gervais says.
“I just needed some time out before the chaos.” Blue says.
“We could go for a walk down the beach,” Gervais says.
“Nah I’ll get started on dinner after this.” Blue says.
“We can order in tonight.” Gervais says and Blue wrinkles his nose.
“I like cooking.” Blue says.
“It’s late and you are clearly exhausted, I bet one of the others is already on it.” Gervais says and Blue tries to relax.
“It’s weird us both being single.” Blue says.
“Are you?” Gervais asks.
“Yes, I like Tyler and he is super nice to me but he hasn’t the time to be a boyfriend, And I’m not at all upset by that so I know he’s not the right one. You need someone.” Blue says.
“I’m okay being single, working on myself.” Gervais says.
“You need someone to take care of you. Not because you’re weak or can’t do it yourself but because you’re lovely to look after.” Blue says.
“Tired of looking out for me? I know I’ve taken up your time recently.” Gervais says.
“Not at all I wish you’d let it be me full time. I’m over you don’t worry but I could happily fall back in to you so fast. I’m not going to ask or put that pressure on or even think of it when we get out this tub. But it would alleviate my worries if I knew someone else was looking out for you.” Blue says blinking back a sudden tear of emotion.
“I need to be single right now.” Gervais says.
“I get it, I do and you shouldn’t just get a boyfriend to make me feel better. I just want you to be happy baby.” Blue says kissing Gervais neck and collarbone.
“I’m doing okay. If Justin would leave me alone it would be great.” Gervais says.
“I’ll talk to him again when we get back. If it carries on we’ll make a complaint.” Blue says.
“I’m going to forget about him for the week and have fun.” Gervais says taking a sip of Blue’s beer.
“Good.” Blue says.
Reluctantly the get out when the water cools and go and get dressed separately. Both thinking seriously about what Blue said. Gervais tries to push it out his head. He knows Blue needs to date someone else. Someone decent. He needs to have a real chance with someone who will love him and not be a burden and not mess it up.
Blue thinks about how Tyler doesn’t make him feel the way Gervais does and while he’s wonderful and treats him well, is not the player Antonio suggested, he makes Blue feel desired but not needed.
For a moment Blue thinks of Birch and how he fits that role already, Blue often cleans up his apartment and shops and cooks for him, he’s not like a maid but sometimes Birch is in the zone and Blue enjoys making life easier for him.
Blue decides to let the others fend for themselves and goes to bed. He’s tired and doesn’t want to fake it tonight.
Blue wakes early and goes to piss meeting Birch on his way back from doing the same. They smile good morning and check each other out. Blue turns before opening the bathroom door to see Birch going to Andy’s room and wants to scream in frustration.
On the way back Jesse comes out of Gervais room and Blue just can’t take it. He quickly gets ready and heads straight for the beach, Its early chilly and quiet. He starts his morning routine and is soon feeling calmer but can’t shake the feelings of jealousy and disappointment.
“Hey thought I’d find you here. What’s up?” Robin asks.
“Just needed to clear my head. Its going to be a nice day I think.” Blue says.
“Want to come back and make breakfast with me?” Robin asks.
“l don’t feel like it. I’m liking it out here.” Blue says watching the waves.
“Blue its me, you can tell me what’s wrong.” Robin says gently.
“Jesse was with Gervais and Birch was with Andy last night. I know I have no right, I know I’m not dating them but I am jealous as all hell. It feels like a huge kick in the guts. I know I’m not Birch’s type and I should step back and stop fantasizing about him but it is so hard. It feels like we’ve been dating for the last couple of months and I thought that he was coming round to thinking of me that way but he doesn’t. He really doesn’t. I feel like Andy has been being nice to me to throw me off. Like they’ve both been laughing at me massaging my ego and making me think they were both interested when they’ve been banging each other’s brains out behind my back.” Blue say frustrated and angry.
“Birch is in to you that way. He never takes his eyes off you. He always gets mad when Tyler is around and tries to get you away from him. Maybe he’s been waiting for you to stop sleeping around.” Robin says gently.
“No he’s just a friend and I misread it again. Andy told me Birch didn’t think of me that way and I arrogantly thought I could bring him round but lets face it after weeks and weeks of nothing it is never going to happen. He never wanted me and I was a fool to hope he did. Of course he likes Andy and not me. I should have backed off when he asked.” Blue says.
“And Gervais? Why does who he sleeps with bother you?” Robin asks.
“I’ll always hate them together because their relationship robbed me of time with Gervais. We shared a bath last night and it felt so intimate, it could easily have moved to the bedroom. I will always feel inadequate next to Jesse. I’ve been so much happier and more confident recently and now I feel back to where I was.” Blue admits.
“Sounds like you’re done playing around.” Robin says.
“Not really. I mean I feel like twice I’ve found a man I could be with, if not forever for a really long time and twice I’ve not measured up. Gervais tossed me aside and won’t try again and Birch doesn’t find me sexually attractive. I don’t feel like I’ll ever find anyone like those two. I don’t think I even want to look because it feels like giving up.” Blue says.
“You can’t give up. There are so many men out there. You’ll find one that loves you back, that adores you and is hot for you. You can’t expect every guy to be that guy.” Robin says.
“I don’t. I’m having a lot of fun with Tyler but with him not here my head fills with what I used to have and what I thought I could have. Sorry this is fucking depressing. We’re supposed to be having fun. If you want help finding girls later I’ll miss hit the volleyball or whatever it is you straight guys do.” Blue tries to cheer up.
“You don’t need to apologize for sharing your feelings. We need each other. Don’t push all this down and get upset with yourself. They are the ones missing out on a great boyfriend. You’ve been amazing in all your relationships and Birch is a fool.” Robin says.
“I love you Robin. I couldn’t get through college without you.” Blue says.
“Same babe. You’re the best friend I ever had.” Robin says.
“Why are you not gay? We could be married tomorrow.” Blue says with a grin.
“Shall we go make breakfast now?” Robin asks.
“I’m going for a run to clear my head. Thanks for talking me down.” Blue says and kisses Robin’s cheek before getting up and jogging down the beach.
Back in the kitchen Robin puts more coffee on and sits at the table contemplating how to help his friend.
“Where’s Blue?” Andy asks coming in.
“Gone for a run.” Robin says.
“No baking smells meant I slept in.” Andy laughs as Birch pours cereal.
“Look I know its spring break and we’re all going to be loose and having fun but can you two be a bit more subtle? Blue knows he has no claim but he’s not made of stone and he’s pretty upset right now. That goes for you two too.” Robin says as Jesse and Gervais come in.
“Oh please.” Jesse says rolling his eyes.
“Blue knows we’re not getting back together. He’s over me and wants me to find someone.” Gervais says.
“Right and this isn’t coming from him. I am asking you to keep it out his face so he doesn’t feel like shit and go home like last year. It’ll be a shitty break if we can’t all enjoy it and I know I won’t if Blue is cutting himself off.” Robin says.
“I don’t get it. If you and he want to be together why are you still asking me for sex?” Birch asks Andy.
“It’s you Blue wants.” Robin says before Andy can say anything.
“No, we’re just friends. Believe me I have tried everything to get him to make a move.” Birch says.
“He’s totally in to you. Andy told him you told Andy Blue isn’t your type and Blue believed him. He’s been hoping you’ll change your mind.” Gervais says.
“Why the fuck would you do that? And tell me he didn’t like me like that?” Birch shouts turning on Andy who blushes crimson.
“Andy is in love with Blue.” Spence says coming in and pouring coffee.
“You’re serious? You’ve been feeding us both shit to keep us apart. Holy fuck that’s low.” Birch says stunned.