Blue, Andy and Tad get up early to get ready for the market. Blue and Andy drop Tad home and head to the bakery.
Blue and Andy are a whirlwind of activity, so are Spence, Larry and Tad when they arrive with Mike. Blue is surprised at Spence pitching in then figures it is probably to impress Larry.
The whole morning is busy, the crowd is more than Blue anticipated and even though it is a chilly march day he sees many people walking around with ice-cream. They sell the small cakes and bread easily and the soup does steadily well with them replenishing often from indoors.
Andy helps out with Claud’s stand and Blue watches his easy way with the customers and smiles to himself. Andy really does seem fine with the Larry and Spence situation. He notices Tad seems to drop by regularly to check Andy is okay, taking him coffee and food. He’s sure the pair will have a lot of fun over the week and Blue feels relieved that all temptations are out of the way. It would have been so easy to get it on with Larry or Tad this week.
As the day moves on and things quieten down Heidi heads over to the bakery for a while, when she gets back Blue heads over to see how Mike has done.
“It has been good. Not as crazy as the last one but a different crowd, hopefully everyone has done well. Lots of photographers from local websites about and the paper and student papers all sent people down. Gladys and Abby have been holding court in the bakery and doing a lot of the press with us lot taking turns in there. They all ask about you.” Mike says.
“Hope you’re all being nice.” Blue grins.
“Of course we are. We’re all giving you and Heidi props for getting us all in gear and doing this. It’s worked out. We’re all happy, the stores are all full, the cafes and restaurants are doing well. We just have to hope people come back before the next one.” Mike says.
“Yeah. We’ve done pretty well and I see people with ice-cream, which is great. And lots of people with coffee from the bakery.” Blue says.
“I saw the usual cheesecake line this morning. That is still a hit and those people stayed around. Your Andy suggested selling soup packs to me and Claud so we share produce and bagged up the things in recipe groups and they sold so well. People recognized the farm name from the soup board, asked for selfies the daft brushes.” Mike says shaking his head but clearly flattered.
Claud sees them talking and comes over.
“He’s a good one, your Andy. Made me a nice profit with his ideas. I felt famous all the pictures and being asked if I was the real Claud from the soups.” Claud laughs clearly pleased with how the day has gone.
“Uh we’re heading off. I’ll probably stay with Larry tonight, give you two some bonding time.” Spence says coming over with Larry.
“I thought you’d already gone. That’s fine. Why don’t you all and Mike come for a late lunch tomorrow?” Blue asks.
“That sounds good.” Spence says with a smile.
“So you’ll feed Mike, Larry and Tad but it’s a chore when it’s me.” Gervais says popping up with Robin behind him.
“What are you doing here?” Blue asks shocked, not meaning to sound so rude.
“We wanted to support your first market day. We always said we would.” Robin says.
“Where are you staying?” Blue asks.
“At the motel.” Gervais says.
“Bit grim, compared to the fancy hotel in New York. There are some nice places in the city you could have booked.” Blue says.
“Hello Gervais, Robin. Didn’t expect to see you.” Mike says.
Tad bounds over having glimpsed Gervais blonde hair through the crowd. Andy watches fascinated as Tad’s crush makes the usually together guy a stuttering mess.
“Didn’t know you were coming.” Tad gets out eventually.
“Wanted to support the first day of the market. It just took us longer to get here than we expected.” Gervais says.
“You should both come to lunch tomorrow, unless you have plans.” Blue says and Andy tries not to laugh.
“Thank-you. We’d like that.” Robin says with a smile.
“Are Gladys and Abby about? I should go and see them.” Gervais asks.
“They’re in the bakery. Did you get a chance to try the ice-cream?” Blue asks.
“Not yet. We will though.” Robin says.
“Are you really going to make them stay in the motel?” Andy asks.
“I’m going to make them sweat a night.” Blue grins.
“They deserve it. So manipulative, we wanted to support you.” Andy says in a whiney voice.
“Exactly. But they can stay from tomorrow night. But I’ll not be able to entertain them.” Blue says.
“Cool, I really want our us time tomorrow. I feel a bit like the/ re butting in. I don’t have a claim on you but we had plans.” Andy says with a grin.
They help pack up and go home and share a long soak in the tub, both too exhausted to get back out.
They are lazing on Blue’s bed, clothed when Will calls.
“Hey baby.” Blue says smiling, and Andy waves hello over his shoulder.
“Hey you two. Did today go okay?” Will asks.
“Yeah really good, we sold loads and it had a great atmosphere.” Blue grins.
“People ate a sea of Blue’s soup. It is so popular.” Andy says.
“He exaggerates. Go away and let us talk.” Blue says pushing Andy off the bed playfully. He falls dramatically and gets up and kisses Blue’s forehead and cheeks territorially.
“Do I need to worry about him?” Will asks.
“No. We did share a bath earlier. Is that okay? We were so cold and achy I didn’t even think about it.” Blue says.
“Its fine. As long as there was nothing in it. No touching.” Will says.
“Not that sort. I am finding it hard though. Really hard.” Blue says.
“Really? Its only been a week.” Will says.
“Longer than that, since before your op. It’s a long time for me.” Blue says.
“You’re feeling neglected?” Will asks.
“Just frustrated and needy.” Blue says.
“It doesn’t feel like that long for me. But I’m exhausted and it’s the last thing I think about. Unless I look at those pictures. We had some fun that day, I knew it was only a week.” Will says perking up.
“For you.” Blue says.
“Oh. You are feeling neglected, hard done and resentful.” Will says.
“No and yes. I don’t know. I don’t see what the big deal is if one of my friends helps me out while you can’t.” Blue says.
“The big deal is it would hurt me. Hurt me a lot and I wouldn’t stay with you.” Will says.
“But it, oh hell, I can’t say it, I sound like that guy. I’m sorry.” Blue says hanging his head feeling ashamed at trying to pressurize Will into agreeing to something that would upset them both.
“You’re going to have to improve your solo game because I am getting my shoulder done on Tuesday up here and I’ll be here for at least 2 more weeks.” Will says.
“Why are you getting it done now? What happened to rehabbing at school?” Blue asks.
“The team doctor wants to oversee things more closely and the facility is even better here. Plus there are people on hand to help me day to day so we can get done sooner.” Will says.
“What about school?” Blue asks.
“I’m sorting it out. Don’t worry I will finish, they are being pretty flexible with me.” Will says.
“That’s good.” Blue says with a half-smile. He knows he’s slipping into one of his funks, he anticipated it after the high of the market but didn’t expect to crash so fast.
“I know it means longer apart and I hate that just as much as you do.” Will says.
“I’m sorry. I’m just struggling with this. With being away from you, not just sex, everything. Can I come up there next weekend?” Blue asks.
“No, you’d not be able to stay here and there isn’t anywhere close by. I wish you could baby I really do. It is such a short amount of time in the long term. Just focus on that. In a few months we’ll be together 4 or 5 nights a week.” Will says.
“We will. Wait if you are staying extra what about senior night?” Blue asks.
“I’ll be missing it. I know it is going to be a shame for ocean but he’ll enjoy the meet and trip with his
“It’ll be weird without you there.” Blue says.
“You’ll still go?” Will asks and Blue nods.
“Just won’t get to treat you to the fancy hotel after.” Blue says.
“You’re mad at me.” Will says.
“No. I’m just sad that I can’t see you and feel rubbish that I’m being so selfish when you need my support. I’m going to go. I promise I’ll be in a better mood tomorrow.” Blue says.
“Are you sure? I’m happy for you to complain away, even if it is about me.” Will says.
“I don’t want our tiny time talking together to be depressing like this. I promise, attitude adjustment will be in place tomorrow. Tonight I need to wallow a bit and I don’t want you to see.” Blue says trying to be as honest as he can.
“I love you Blue, good moods and bad. You don’t need to hide any of yourself.” Will says.
“Thanks. I’m sorry. I’m just going to go to bed.” Blue says and ends the call feeling worse.
He can’t get a handle on anything. He feels totally out of control. He’s totally overloaded and wants to use sex as a way to handle it and can’t. He needs to be held and loved and that he knows what he needs makes it all the more frustrating.
He throws himself on the floor and starts to work through his yoga, trying to calm himself and get back in control but he can’t. He feels awkward, the familiar movements feel alien and uncomfortable and he gets more and more wound up. He pummels the floor with his fists and lets out a big wail.
Andy comes running in worried Blue has hurt himself.
“I’m fine, just being stupid.” Blue says.
“Let’s get into bed. You’ve been going non-stop since I got here. All week I imagine. You can sleep in tomorrow.” Andy says.
“You staying with me?” Blue asks.
“Yes.” Andy smiles.
“Thank-you.” Blue says and they get ready for bed.
“I’m gonna make you some brownies tomorrow.” Blue says rubbing Andy’s thin arms.
“Yes you are and cinnamon rolls and pancakes.” Andy says and Blue feels his friend smiling against his chest.
“How did you stay faithful to Spence early on? I mean you only fucked up in college, you had breaks apart for a few years. How did you deal?” Blue asks.
“Lots of jerking off. A lot of porn. And lots of family time. Chilling with Katelyn and doing fun stuff.” Andy says.
“I am so busy. I work long hours and when I’m finished I’m in an empty house all alone and sure Will and I talk and sometimes do more than talk but that doesn’t make an empty bed any easier. Weeks without sex. It is hard. I’ve been feeling like it’s too hard. I know Will is worth it. I love him, he loves me. He really loves me and I don’t want to push him, I don’t want to hurt him like Gervais did to me. But I am struggling.” Blue says.
“I’d offer to have sex with you but I think you’d throw me out. We should buy you a giant teddy bear to snuggle.” Andy grins.
“Maybe it is a twin thing, triplet thing, hating an empty bed. Too used to sharing a space. Uggh I can’t think about them. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Everything is going well with Will, yes we’re apart but it isn’t for long. I’m crazy about him. I’m never going to find anyone better and yet I am terrified I’m going to snap and fuck up.” Blue says.
“Stop putting so much fucking pressure on yourself. You are human. You’re young and have a big dick and a healthy sex drive. Of course you’re going to think about sex with others, crave it, and fantasize about it. Give yourself a break, lube up your ass and enjoy your dildo. You don’t want to fuck around, I know you. If you say you love this guy then you love him and you won’t fuck it up. Put that out of your head.” Andy says.
“It’s not about sex with others, just I want that release. I need a really good fuck and I can’t have one, not for ages and I really shouldn’t be saying this to you.” Blue sighs.
“I remember when you were a desperate virgin and miserable when Austin wouldn’t fuck you. You got through it and became an amazing lover. You’ll get through this and be the best Will has ever had, and he’ll treat you right. Give your relationship a chance. And call me anytime, I don’t care if you wake me. If you’re lonely you call. Plus I will send you loads of porn links.” Andy says and laughs.
“Thanks. I don’t want to mess up but I am such a thirsthound.” Blue sighs.
“You can do this. You will do this. He’s worth it. I saw how he looked at you in Vegas, he is crazy about you. Look I wouldn’t say any of this if I didn’t believe it because I would be yours in a heartbeat and you know it. I think he is right for you.” Andy says.
“I know he is. He’s amazing. And I don’t want to fuck up his recovery. Ugh I am so selfish. I only want him to follow his Olympic dreams because he would resent me if he didn’t. I wish he was doing his original plan of moving here after graduation and being a florist. Fuck I can’t believe I said that out loud.” Blue says.
“He sold you a dream and took it away. You’re allowed to be mad in private, you can’t let him know but you are allowed to be mad.” Andy says.
“Thanks for not judging me.” Blue says sighing.
“Why would I. Fuck you have listened to so much shit from me and given great advice. I don’t know how we get you through this. I don’t. But we will and then you’ll be happy. We all want you to be happy.” Andy says and Blue hugs his friend tightly. Before he can make the mistake of kissing him the way he wants to there is a knock at the door.
Blue runs down with Andy close behind, they find Gervais and Robin in the kitchen.
“Sorry the motel was creepy.” Robin says.
“Ah it’s fine he was only going to make you sweat it for the one night.” Andy laughs and Blue pulls his friends into a big hug. He is stressed and overworked and mad as hell at them but he loves them and wants them here.