A new Blue 75

“So what was that all about? How did she know you were going to be in town? Especially when I didn’t?” Blue asks.

“My fault, don’t tell momma but we’ve been talking a little. She asked my birthday plans and I told her. I’m sorry. I didn’t expect her to be quite so psycho since dad left her.” Chris says.

“Left her for who?” Blue asks.

“Well there are women who will latch on to a celebrity, however shittily they found that fame. He totally has his pick of wealthy idiots right now.” Chris says.

“Will, Robin, can I trust you two to keep these three from killing each other? I am going after her. We should have had everything out 20 years ago.” Clara says getting up.

“We can try but we’ll go home if these two show their usual behavior.” Will says.

“What sent her off?” Robin asks once Clara leaves.

“Will told her she was lucky Paul wasn’t in jail for hiding the money and for trying to pimp out his daughter. She was blaming Bea for him leaving and said it was her lies and attention seeking that did it.” Chris says clearly angry.

“Why were you talking to her at all?” Blue asks.

“I felt bad for how things were going for her. She’s my mom and I stupidly thought the money was all dad but it wasn’t. She knew. They are as bad as each other. The thing I’ll never understand is how she and momma ever became such close friends. I can’t see them ever being close enough for momma to do what she did. Especially not when mom was married to Paul.” Chris says.

“Momma love to help people. I don’t really get it either. I thought momma was hanging on to be there to mop up when Paul left. What happened with us, splitting us and not seeing us, shaped all three of them.” Blue says.

“And us.” Bea says quietly.

“No.” Blue says.

“Sorry.” Bea says.

“What?” Chris asks.

“Bea was going take the opportunity to push for me to be part of the study.” Blue says.

“Doesn’t take much to wire you two in. Blue we can’t live our lives apart. We can’t. We just can’t.” Chris says.

“You fucked it, both of you. You fuck me over without a second thought all the time. I am not ready to have you in my life. I might never be ready.” Blue says and Will squeezes his shoulder.

“I am going to move here with momma after the summer. I have to promise to stay out of your life, that is one of momma’s conditions. She has made us invest the money from the book and what we recovered from Paul and will pay our college costs through grad school. But if we pull any shit with you she will pull all funding and we’re on our own.” Chris says.

“You need to do a whole lot more than not fuck with Blue again. You need to make up for all the shit you’ve put him through.” Robin says.

“Can I get you anything else?” Saul asks coming over.

“I’ll take another milkshake and can I have a couple of scoops, whatever Blue’s best invention is.” Chris says.

“Just coffee for me. You guys?” Blue asks.

“Same.” Robin and Will say.

“Can I have another hot chocolate with whip. Thanks.” Bea asks quietly.

“That sounds good.” Chris says.

“You want both?” Saul asks.

“No I meant it’s good for Bea to have whipped cream, she’s trying this fat make you happy eating.” Chris grins.

“Oh I subscribe to that myself.” Saul laughs.

“It is our birthday. We’re treating ourselves.” Bea says.

“Of course. I forgot as Blue had his party at the weekend. Happy Birthday.” Saul says.

“He’s cute.” Chris says when Saul leaves.

“Married. Hands off.” Blue says.

“Are there any single guys around? Not that I’ll ever do better than Andy.” Chris sighs.

“You fucked that yourself.” Blue says.

“Do you think I don’t know that?” Chris snaps.

“I think you have no fucking idea how badly you treat people. How selfish you are and how your bad choices impact everyone else. Your sister, who has had a lifetime of your shit is struggling with multiple breakdowns because your selfish whims always imact her.” Blue says.

“She is worse than me. I don’t get why you blame me so much when she has been just as bad.” Chris says.

“She fucked over Robin but he was doing the same. What you did to Andy and Gervais doesn’t compare. Trying to get me chucked out of school. Fucking me over in public. You’re an asshole through and through and Bea is the same. I empathize with all you have been through but nothing changes. You never say sorry, never show you are sorry and never think of how your selfish choices affect me or momma. Nothing has changed since your last visit. Nothing.” Blue says.

“But we are different. Bea is in therapy and we are doing better.” Chris says.

“It isn’t enough. Blue had to sue a fucking magazine. He had to see his life broadcast everywhere and he has to be even more careful before at making friends. All while trying to start his life over. This conversation in Deja vu. You two are total twats with no conscience and no right to expect anything from Blue. We have said it before, get your shit together, show that you can go a few months without fucking Blue over and get on your knees and beg forgiveness.” Will says.

“We haven’t done anything to Blue in ages.” Chris says.

“Just a few weeks ago you were invading his house and asking for favors that would further fuck up his privacy. You are insane if you think he should ever see you again, ever.” Will says exasperated that the pair just don’t see it.

“You both lied from the start, you faked it with me and with Gervais, fucking up our relationships with Blue. Blue gave you another try and you shit on him over and over. You are insane. Utterly insane and therapy is just the start. You know this. Neither of you is so dense that you thin because your dad is fucked up that Blue should give you a pass.” Robin says rolling his eyes.

“I have tried to make it right. It wasn’t my fault that Blue ran off just as we were getting to a better place, all three of us.” Chris sulks.

 

“Ugh please after I left you told the world I was a fraudster and thief. Unless my house burns down and my businesses fail you will be jealous of me and be trying to bring me down. I can never trust you. Not ever. There is no fixing this now and I don’t need to. I have my family right here, I have my forever home and my work. I don’t need to be friends with you two to feel fulfilled. And I don’t care enough to try. I just don’t see there is anything in it for me.” Blue says.

“You do care though. You cared outside and you cared when you ordered my food for me. Like it or not you care. We could be friends but you are blocking it. I get it, I wouldn’t trust me either. But stop lying to yourself about not caring. Deep inside it bugs you that we’re not friends.” Bea says.

“I’m human. Just because I feel for you and want to make life a little less shit doesn’t mean I want to have a relationship with you. Can we stop this conversation now? It makes me feel worse and worse going over it. When I’m ready I’ll let you know.” Blue says.

“I just don’t see why you can’t start talking to me at least. Why can’t you put it all aside? You forgave Gervais, Andy and Spence.” Chris says.

“Nothing they did was as bad as what we did. Don’t you get it yet? Blue isn’t able to forgive us because it was unforgivable. All of it. We knew about him and we didn’t look for him. He left and we didn’t look for him. Forget everything else that we did. We had no idea what Clara was like and we left him with her. He wouldn’t have left us with our parents if he had known where we were. You know how hard it has been for us to forgive Clara.” Bea says quietly. She’s a different woman, all the brashness is gone. Blue can see she hit bottom and kept going and is barely off the floor.

“Therapy is working.” Robin says also shocked at the change in Bea.

“I don’t know. I’ve been talking to Birch a lot. Going out with him and Roe when they’re painting early morning. Birch knows us both pretty well and has helped me see your side more. He and Willow have been better than the therapist in some ways. I still think the study is the way to go for all of us. I know you have better coping mechanisms than we do but you still struggle a lot.” Bea says.

“He has me, and his friends. Blue doesn’t run any more, we talk things through.” Will says.

“Maybe that is true but Blue struggles with depression at times and while he might be better at being a boyfriend he still ought to learn how to be a brother.” Bea says determined.

“Nah Blue has Andy, Gervais and Ocean. He knows how to be a brother and is a damn good one. It isn’t like Andy and G have always treated him well either. The three of them fight but they are brothers. They made a family, Spence and I are more on the edge but it is a family.” Robin says.

“Robin you know I see you as more than a friend, that’s why I keep giving you chances.” Blue says.

“I know. I also know you are closer to Gervais again.” Robin says.

“You have a connection with Gervais but also with me. No one else would get away with ordering for me, you know that. You know I would have complained that anyone else was being cheap and insisted on the most expensive items.” Chris says.

“But what does Blue get from you?” Will asks genuinely curious about why Chris thinks Blue being wonderful is a reason Blue should want a relationship with Chris.

“Chris only knows how to take.” Bea says.

“Andy and Gervais saw something in me.” Chris says no idea what he should be saying.

“You fucked Andy over, big time and lied to Gervais your whole relationship. Hardly good adverts. Anyway I meant it before, I just don’t want to decide anything now. Stop bugging me or I’ll do what I do best and disappear.” Blue says.

“Can we get through today though? I mean we are family, like it or not and isn’t that what families do, spend birthdays and holidays together?” Chris says and Bea and Blue laugh.

“Okay. Just stop bugging me.” Blue says.

“Can I have another milkshake?” Chris asks.

“You’ll get fat.” Blue says.

“I am so skinny right now. Look at me, my cheeks are sunken. I am being worked to the bone this summer. Plus these are amazing.” Chris says running his finger round his glass and licking it.