Ocean Blue 63

“No, this isn’t happening. I waited for you. You don’t get to just end it.” Gervais screams at Blue. Gervais has been back an hour, and Blue has delivered the news.

“So what? I waited for you. I waited and jumped through hoops and was a total fucking lapdog to you for years. And you still rejected me over and over. Waiting for someone doesn’t mean shit.” Blue shouts back.

“Is this some kind of payback for hurting you in the past?” Gervais asks.

“No. I’ve told you over and over. I love you but right now I don’t have the energy, the emotional energy for a relationship. I still need a time out. I need to adjust to my freedom and get myself back on track. And I can’t focus on you, on anyone while I’m doing it.” Blue says.

“I asked you to stay away from Will and instead you hole up here with him alone and dump me. You’ve been fucking him all week I bet.” Gervais spits.

“No I haven’t, he slept on the sofa and then in the spare room when momma left. Think what you will of me. If you loved me you’d be supportive. But you don’t love me at all. You just wanted to win.” Blue says.

“That isn’t true. Sure I can’t keep being Florence Nightingale 24/7 for you. But I got you back on your feet and you decided to take us to the next level. I gave you some space, let you see what it’s like without me and you dump me. Fucking backfired on me didn’t it. So I’m homeless and Jobless and alone. Thanks a lot Blue.” Gervais says and stomps out and drives off.

“Just me and you now pup.” Blue says petting Sunny.

“Woof.” Sunny replies and licks Blue’s leg.

“I broke up with Gervais. Come visit any time, I’ll make cake, or ice cream.” Blue says.

“Or an ice-cream cake.” Chris says.

“We’ll come in two days. Just need to sort taking time off. And I’m sorry about Gervais.” Larry calls out.

“Shit, you okay bro? You masked the big news with talk of cake.” Chris grins.

“I am. I decided a few days ago. I’d talked with momma and Andy and I know they’re not exactly impartial but they helped me get clarity. I knew I had to do it. I am not boyfriend material right now.” Blue says.

“How did G take it?” Chris asks.

“Not well. I got mad at him too. It wasn’t pretty. Maybe you could call him later, check he’s okay?” Blue asks.

“Not boyfriend material indeed. Are you sure about this?” Larry asks.

“I need to be selfish again for a bit. I have Sunny and he keeps me busy and will make sure I get up in the mornings. I want to enjoy my freedom, not sexually, I want to be able to just go somewhere, just do something without checking in with anyone and without looking over my shoulder all the time.” Blue says.

“I hear you. I’m the opposite. I like having to check in with Larry when I want to go off on a walk or fishing or whatever. The freedom is nice isn’t it, being able to go the same route every morning, being able to have routine, friends. I love that I can see Bea for dinner the same day and time each week.” Chris grins.

“It is nice. Sunny and I run round the lake, he watches me do my yoga, or chases rabbits and then we swim, every morning, the same. I love it.” Blue grins back.

“Gervais wouldn’t stop you doing any of that.” Chris says.

“He was suggesting we not live here. I don’t think he’d actually be happy with my simple life. I love it here. I’ll come home when Ocean arrives, I want to spend lots of time with him this summer.” Blue says.

“You look good bro. For someone who has just had a messy break up you look strong and healthy and at ease.” Chris says.

“Will said similar the other day. It’s being here. I love it. I love Sunny. I love my big ass grill. My beautiful view. This is the place for me. I’d love it if you and Larry settled here too eventually. Maybe Larry could take on one of the farms or you could at least build yourselves a vacation home here.” Blue says.

“Sounds great to me.” Larry calls out.

“It sounds more than great. Love the idea. Larry needs his own land, he’s learning loads here but he has so many ideas. I’m waitlisted for this year, for the college in your city and two others. The program worked some magic to get me a shot at a start this year. No guarantees but it is hope.” Chris says.

“You could live at the hotel in the week and up here at weekends.” Blue says.

“Stop it. You’re getting my hopes up.” Chris says.

“You deserve some good luck.” Blue says.

“You seem to get all of that.” Chris says not jealous.

“I do, and the shit in equal measure. This time feels different though.” Blue says.

“Well we’ll come see you in a few days.” Chris says.

“I can’t wait.” Blue grins.

He and Sunny take a long walk exploring the area. It is a beautiful warm day and they have a lot of fun together. Blue tries to shake off the break up but when he gets back he feeds Sunny, takes a shower and calls Gervais.

“I am sorry for losing it earlier. I didn’t want things to end badly. I love you so much and I am so grateful for everything you have done for me.” Blue says.

“It was such a shock. It would be easier if you were with Will. Are you certain this is the right thing for you?” Gervais asks.

“I am. I wasn’t being a good boyfriend. I want to be my very best for you and I just couldn’t do it, not right now.” Blue says.

“It really isn’t about Will?” Gervais asks.

“No. Maybe a little. I have some feelings. But he isn’t why I had to break up with you. I just want some time to get it together. I want to fix myself and stop relying on everyone else to prop me up. I know it has been exhausting for you and I know I’m not fun to be around.” Blue says.

“You’re not but I still love you and want us to be together. I don’t care how you dress or what your hair is doing or if you want to stay in and watch movies every night. I can deal with that. I can’t deal with you making huge life decisions without me. The lake house, the hotel, all of that. Now you are out of the program we should have been making choices together. You are deciding things and expecting me to fit in. And that sucks. It shows you don’t think of me as an equal partner or as long term. I love you and I want to be with you and to work it out. But I think you’ve made the right decision for both of us.” Gervais says with a sigh.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t expect you to just fit in. I hate that you felt that way. Are you going back to the lake?” Blue asks.

“No, I will go back to my place. I’ll be buying it back from Ocean and back to my old life. I don’t want to be around you. George will probably move in and we’ll be closer to Birch too as he and Robin are taking on Will’s place.” Gervais says.

“I’m sorry.” Blue says again, feeling utterly rotten.

“Give me some time. Don’t call me for a while.” Gervais says.

“Okay.” Blue says, hangs up and cries.

Sunny nuzzles at his sad owner, trying to lick away the tears which soon cheers Blue up.

“Come on pup, lets go fishing.” Blue says with a grin.

“You okay?” Will asks later when Blue and Sunny get back.

“Yeah we had a rough break up in person and a better phone call when we’d both calmed down.” Blue says.

“If it’s okay with you I’ll stay a few more days, to make sure you’re okay. Then clear off before Chris and Larry get here. I’ll stay with friends in the city and then travel back with your bro.” Will says.

“That sounds really nice. I’ll be out with Sunny a lot in the day, but it will be good to have someone to chat and cook with in the evenings.” Blue smiles and then hugs Will tightly.

“Shall I make popcorn?” Will asks.

“Yes please.” Blue grins.

Blue is snoozing on the sofa, Sunny at his feet when Will comes in with popcorn and iced tea. Blue stirs at the smell and grins.

“Yummy.” Blue says smiling.

“You sure you don’t want to just go to sleep?” Will asks smiling.

“No its movie time.” Blue says with a grin and Will sits down.

They have a pleasant evening together, as friends. Blue feels sad about Gervais, not sure he’s done the right thing for long term but knows it is right for now.

Good as his word Will heads to the city the day Larry and Chris arrive.

“Cool place bro.” Chris grins.

Sunny barks and runs round excitedly at the visitors arrival.

“Someone has lots of energy.” Larry says petting Sunny and feeding him some treats.

“Stop trying to steal my dog.” Blue laughs.

“He is adorable. Will made a great choice. Feed us and then show us this farm.” Chris says cheekily.

“Feed yourself you great oaf.” Blue laughs and heats up some soup.

“Wow, this tastes like home.” Larry says with a grin.

“My brother the gourmet. Honestly this is the best.” Chris grins helping himself to a second bowl.

“Can you tell us more about the land?” Larry asks.

“Momma and I met each of the tenants and we thought we had it sorted who wanted to stay and who wanted to go. We shuffled people around and it looked to be okay. Well the farmer on the largest farm came to see me, turns out his wife was happy they were moving on, their oldest is about to start high school and she was looking forward to moving closer, having more family time etcetera. So you guys get first refusal. They are actually due to leave in October after the harvest. Though I suspect wife and kids will leave in august for school. It’s the red area on the plans.” Blue says unfolding the document for Larry.

“Now that is luck.” Chris says.

“I want to say yes. I’m hoping you’ll be generous with terms as I’m marrying your twin some day.” Larry says.

“And you’re a good friend.” Blue says.

“And there is a property?” Chris asks.

“Big family home, much bigger than here, not as nice a view though.” Blue grins.

“I am a hell yes without even seeing it. Are they okay if we visit today?” Larry asks.

“Yes I said it would probably be this afternoon.” Blue says.

“Say no if this is a step too far. Would you be willing to give me a loan to cover the cost of buying the harvest? I mean so if they do want to leave in August but don’t want to lose any payments. If I can do a deal? I know it’s a big ask.” Larry says.

“Sounds like a great plan, we can all move here full time together. If I said no Chris would ask momma and she’d say yes but give strings and we’d all be on the verge of falling out again. Chris and momma only just made up as it is.” Blue says.

“Thanks bro. I thought we would settle up at the lake but this is a much better option for us, long term. I think Bea and I get on best when we have quality not quantity time together. Same with momma. You I need to be around.” Chris says.

“Same. I didn’t like the idea of us being so far apart but I didn’t want to stop you two from being happy. I have missed you.” Blue says and Chris melts, Blue admitting he wants Chris around for good means the world to him.

The three look round the farm and Larry is impressed but trying to not show it. He’s surprised the family are willing to give it up so he’s a little suspicious.

“Want to walk round the lake?” Blue asks.

“Yeah, lets go play some fetch, this one is bouncing for attention.” Chris grins.

“I’m going to head back, run the numbers, I took lots of pictures, I want to write everything up while it’s fresh.” Larry says.

“Cool. See you late babe.” Chris says kissing Larry goodbye.

“You two are doing great.” Blue says.

“He’s going to marry me one day. Can you believe it? He’s mine forever.” Chris grins, bursting with happiness.

“Everything is going to work out for us. I feel it. I didn’t have focus before but I do now. I’m going to live here, help Spence get his camp running and teach yoga in the city when I’m up to it. Help Will get his fitness business going. It all feels manageable and I can control my involvement. I love Gervais and wish he fit in but right now he doesn’t. Am I wrong sorting out housing and stability ahead of love?” Blue asks.