“John says yes, Dylan says no.” Blue says after checking his mail. He turned his phone on expecting a barrage from George but nothing.
“Dylan says no?” Gervais asks.
“To me taking his room. He needs it for study which is fair. DeShawn may have a mansion of a room but Dylan can’t have any distractions over finals. John says he and Miles are over again.” Blue says.
“Oh well. I like John and him being with Miles made no sense.” Gervais says.
“He’s coming over. He says his block is eerily quiet.” Blue says as John knocks on the door.
“Hey John. Help yourself to coffee, I’ll just get dressed.” Blue says.
“Thanks. Something smells good.” John says.
“Apple pie, grab some if you want we had it for breakfast.” Blue laughs.
“Thanks, I’d love to.” John says grabbing a plate.
“There is cinnamon ice cream if its not too early.” Gervais says coming out.
“This is good on its own. Too good.” John says.
“Sorry if it seems like we took Dylan’s side. We didn’t on purpose more he showed up and never left.” Gervais says.
“It’s fine I guess leaving him the way I did meant he rightly got the sympathy. It’s not quite so black and white as me ditching him out the blue.” John says.
“No judgement from me, I dropped Blue and ran off with Spence’s brother.” Gervais says.
“And now he’s dating my twin.” Blue says coming back in.
“What? That sounds crazy. What has been going on?” John asks.
Blue gets up to make more coffee while Gervais gives John a quick run down of his family situation.
“So they’re identical but you didn’t notice?” John asks.
“Chris is slimmer and has an entirely different haircut and different facial hair and style.
When you see them together it is obvious but out of context I just didn’t see it. Or didn’t want to.” Gervais says.
“We used to joke that I could have hundreds of bio siblings as I was a donor baby. Maybe he thought it was that and it kind of is.” Blue says.
“I can’t believe you two broke up. I’m more surprised about that than anything else.” John says.
“We’re friends again now and that’s the best thing.” Blue says.
“What about you and Dylan, what happened? The way he tells it your parents paid you to break up with him.” Gervais says.
“It wasn’t working. I thought he was what I always wanted and he wasn’t. He’s hard work. I thought we’d have the summer together as a last hurrah and then go back to being friends so we could get our heads down with no distractions while we studied and applied for grad school or jobs.” John says.
“He is hard work. He’s calmer now, we see glimpses of the guy you wanted more and more. He’s his old self at climbing.” Blue says.
“I’ve heard. When I got home my parents said they wanted me to enjoy my final summer. They wanted me to take the time to travel and learn about myself and presented me with tickets and a budget. Told me it was a pre graduation gift. I was so excited and I knew I really wanted to do it alone, at my pace you know so I dropped Dylan quite brutally and left. I thought he’s get over it over the summer and we’d be okay living together.” John says.
“You forgot his dramaqueen streak meant he’s never get over it.” Blue says.
“Yeah and I didn’t try too hard to be fair.” John says.
“Why did you get back with Miles?” Gervais asks.
“My parents didn’t just send me travelling because they were proud of me. My mom is sick and they wanted me out the way while she was having treatment. They hoped to hide it from me so I’d be back in a good frame of mind ready for senior year and not exhausted from juggling camp and supporting mom. Of course it was obvious she was sick when I got back and Miles was a really good ear. He was upset over Emilie and we were mutual support for each other and it grew.” John says.
“I’m sorry about your mom. How come you’re not home with her now?” Blue asks.
“She’s doing really well. My dad has taken her to Aruba to get some winter sun. They offered to have me join them but I really need to ace these finals.” John says.
“I’m glad she’s doing better. Why did you and Miles split?” Blue asks.
“He was still the same devious guy. He orchestrated getting rid of Dylan from climbing, blamed him for you lot leaving and lack of new joiners. Then you lot with no budget and not even a flyer spring up with a healthy membership and I ask those who go to both groups why yours was so popular, why some had left us for you guys and there were 2 main reasons 1 they loved the clubbing part, the unstructuredness of the social portion really worked and it made them feel like college students. 2 There was zero tolerance on groping. You created a far safer feeling space for the girls and they appreciated it. They knew they could speak up if there was an issue where they felt ignored in our club. You guys hit 1 by accident but 2 you warned me about and I didn’t deal.” John says.
“So you dumped Miles for getting rid of Dylan from the club?” Gervais asks.
“Not quite. He started rumors that Dylan was poaching people and bad mouthing our club, he claimed you guys were sabotaging us and I knew you weren’t. You created a great group, the very people we’d picked out to continue our club had rejected us and set up alone and we needed to fix our group and make it more attractive again. We needed to up our social game and make sure everyone was respectful. Miles and I fought and fought over it and I ended it with him and resigned from the committee.” John says.
“You are always welcome on Fridays. We’d love your expertise.” Gervais says.
“Thanks but I couldn’t do that to Dylan. Next semester will be crazy with applications and everything. I need to focus.” John says.
“We’re planning a big dinner next Sunday you should come. I’ll tell Dylan he has to hold his tongue.” Blue says.
“A set us up for exams bash.” Gervais says.
“We would love to see you. I should have called you.” Blue says.
“Hey I didn’t reach out either, sounds like you’ve had too much on anyway.” John says.
They catchup on all the gossip from both climbing clubs and Blue makes a meal from Cheryl’s food for them and puts on a second batch of ice cream.
“It’s probably not a traditional thanksgiving meal but it should be tasty.” Blue says serving up.
“Its better than the noodles and canned tuna I was planning.” John says.
They sit round and watch movies together and eat more food and have a totally chilled day. John reluctantly leaves them late in the evening.
“That was a nice day.” Blue says.
“It was. I forgot what a great guy John is.” Gervais says.
“Plus you have that whole drop your boyfriend and run off overseas thing in common.” Blue says and Gervais laughs.
“He’d be a good guy for you.” Gervais says.
“Nah we tried that and he didn’t want me.” Blue says quietly.
“No word from George?” Gervais asks.
“No, I guess I’ll start packing tomorrow. Problem is if I move out and we switch the rooms round I can never move back.” Blue says sadly.
“Would you want to?” Gervais asks.
“Thanks.” Blue huffs.
“What?” Gervais asks.
“You’re saying its okay I can’t move back. You’re not saying you’ll miss me or it’s not right that I’m moving.” Blue says.
“Don’t take it like that. I’m asking if you really want to live here again if you and George split up. Living with two exes will be hard.” Gervais says.
“You manage.” Blue replies.
“But it isn’t easy.” Gervais says.
“Right it would be easier for you if I moved out. You have no problem with Jesse living here even though he wasn’t meant to be.” Blue says.
“Blue its not like that.” Gervais says.
“Oh it is. You are encouraging me to dump George because I don’t pay you enough attention. But you don’t want too much attention because it reminds you of why we were together. It would be altogether easier to be friends with me if we only saw each other now and then. You want to control me just as much as George.” Blue says.
“No I want you to break up because he is being awful to you.” Gervais says.
“You used to be friends with him, you were close and he never did anything to make you think he was a bad guy. You’re reading too much into this, seeing things that are not there, blaming his behavior and ignoring your own. You’re just as selfish as you always were.” Blue says and goes to his room.
He knows George isn’t treating him right but he also knows he’s letting him do it. They need to sort things out and get back to where they were before Chris and Bea burst onto the scene. Blue picks up his tablet and calls George.
“Did you have a good dinner?” Blue asks lightly.
“I did. I made some of your vegetable dishes and they went down really well and my mom’s turkey was amazing.” George says.
“We need to start over.” Blue says.
“I know. I’ve been a total nightmare. I’m so sorry baby, you’re not fat and your hair wasn’t ugly, though it really needs a cut now.” George says.
“It is looking bad.” Blue smiles.
“What is happening with you and Gervais?” George asks.
“Usual, leading me on when he has no one else around and making it clear I’m not good enough the rest of the time. He bought me an ice-cream maker though.” Blue says.
“Why is he there?” George asks.
“I was upset when you left me. He told me he was going to Chris and Bea’s place and I kind of lost it because it meant he would be meeting my dad before me. Not lost it I was just shocked and hurt.” Blue says.
“So he stayed home to be with you?” George asks.
“Yeah, he was actually putting me first and maybe he had cold feet about meeting the parents too.” Blue says.
“I am so sorry I’ve been so off with you since you found out. I just want to protect you from everyone. I know you felt isolated but all your friends have treated you badly before and you are going through so much. I wanted them to stop leaning on you and let you deal with everything.” George says.
“But why be so mean?” Blue asks.
“I don’t know. I’m still not over that night. I was punishing you for Robin’s choices. And you too. You never came out and said that I should have been there and not Andy. I still feel like you don’t hold me in as high regard as your friends and they certainly don’t. Gervais would never have posted pictures like that of him and Andy, Jesse or Deke as a deliberate plot to hurt their boyfriends.” George says.
“He wanted you to dump me. He called momma about it. I guess they only see the bad stuff. You dropping me yesterday was cold George. You can’t expect me to just put up with that. You’re complaining about how they treat you and treating me badly.” Blue says.
“Do you want us to stay together?” George asks.
“Not if I can’t see my friends or get my hair cut without your approval or call Katelyn.” Blue says.
“Why do you want to see your friends who don’t value you? They only like you when you cook for them. None of them have made any effort with me since we got together. They have all dropped me. Jesse and Elliot laugh at me. Gervais is straight up rude about me and Andy bristles every time I try and talk to Spence, even though he is friends with Deke.” George says.
“I’ll talk to them. You’re right they are all concerned about me but you’ve stopped seeing them just the same and no one is concerned that I’m keeping you away from them.” Blue says trying to see George’s side. He’s been so caught up in his situation that he hasn’t thought about how George is feeling, just how to please him. It must hurt the way everyone dropped him.
“I’ll be back tomorrow.” George says.
“It’ll be easier to talk in person.” Blue says.
So its not over?” George asks.
“Depends on you. We can’t go on like this with you dictating everything we can’t. I deserve better.” Blue says.
“I’m not bending on the Gervais issue.” George says.
“I won’t see him one on one after today but I will do group things with him there.” Blue says.
“Only if I’m there too.” George says.
“Of course. I want us to be like it was. We were doing great, we had so much fun and then Spence’s party blew us up.” Blue says.
“We’ll talk tomorrow. I really don’t think its all my fault for going to that party. Plus I have stayed faithful to you since, I’ve chosen not to be with anyone else.” George says.
“I know and I appreciate it but I am scared of you sometimes and that isn’t right.” Blue says.
“You’ve no reason to be. It’s all in your head. I lash out verbally sometimes but you can be so frustrating.” George says.
“We both need to do better.” Blue says.
“We’ll talk tomorrow.” George says and Blue nods.
Blue goes to get a drink. He feels better, he’s built George up to be a monster but he isn’t. He was right about their friends dropping him. Blue wishes he could rewind the last few weeks.
“I don’t want you to move out so its easier for me.” Gervais says knocking Blue from his thoughts.
“But it would be. There is no escaping the fact that every time I think I’m over you, you draw me back in. You knew what affect you staying would have on me, that it would give me hope. It’s no wonder George insults me, he can never be sure he has my attention.” Blue says.
“You’re staying with him?” Gervais asks incredulous.
“We’re going to work it out. I don’t run away like you.” Blue says.
“No and sometimes you should.” Gervais says.
“Why did you drop George as a friend? Why did everyone?” Blue asks.
“Come on the way he swooped in on you, I couldn’t be close to him and the way he spoke about you to me the other week was disgusting. I don’t know that he was ever close to anyone else.” Gervais says.
“He and Spence were close, all summer they shared a bed. And Spence was the one who was pushing us together but since being back at school he barely speaks to him.” Blue says.
“He barely speaks to anyone. Even Andy needs an appointment. George and Jesse were never close like you and Robin. I think Elliot antagonized George a lot last semester. Is he blaming us for your isolation?” Gervais asks.
“Its true isn’t it. None of you have checked up on him, he missed Sunday dinner and climbing just like I did but you all worry about me and not him.” Blue says.
“Because you’d told us it was him. You asked me to stop texting you because he didn’t like it. What else were we meant to think? Are you really dismissing everything? Why are you letting him back in?” Gervais asks concerned that Blue is headed for disaster.
“I was being hysterical yesterday. It’s George. He is crazy about me and once we work through everything we’ll be fine.” Blue says and goes to bed
Gervais sighs. He pushed too much too fast. He should have done what Clara said and not mentioned George at all. He doesn’t believe for one second that George isn’t in the wrong and treating Blue badly. After all he left him here with little food and no car and no time to make new plans, which was just cruel.
“You can’t dictate his life to him any more than George.” Chris says.
“I know. You didn’t know me last year, Blue saved me over and over and over. I’d never have got through it without him. I owe him big.” Gervais says.
“No you don’t. He did what he did because he wanted to. He is with George because he wants to be. If he was so capable of helping you he can help himself. George is a little runt and Blue could stamp on him if he wanted to.” Chris says.
“But he won’t, he’s too nice.” Gervais says.
“Ever thought that Blue is making it up to get your attention? He has a hard time with his boyfriend and he gets lots of time and cuddles from you.” Chris says.
“Blue wouldn’t be able to manipulate me like that. He just isn’t the type.” Gervais says.
“He got a weekend alone with you and even in to your bed.” Chris says.
“You think he’s lying and he never planned to go with George?” Gervais asks.
“I think he wants you back and he’s trying to worm his way in.” Chris says.
“You don’t even know him.” Gervais says.
“Or maybe I know him better than you think.” Chris says.
Gervais lies in his bed and worries. It’s clear if he gets more involved with Blue he will annoy Chris and risk alienating Blue even further. How did he end up torn between twins?
The following day George returns and he and Blue make up. George begs for forgiveness and promises to change and Blue buys it and apologizes for his mistakes.
Blue tells George about the planned dinner next weekend, not sure if it’ll happen now he and Gervais are not talking.
“I guess it’ll be a good time to show we’re together. Maybe hiding away has been the problem, they don’t see us so don’t see us as a couple.” George says.
“Thanks. I won’t even cook if you don’t want me to. We can get takeout.” Blue says.
“That sounds good. We’ll be busy studying. I didn’t want you to stop cooking entirely. I was just fed up with Andy’s attitude to it. Always acting like you were making everything for him. That you were expressing your love for him by making him treats.” George says.
“I like how he enjoys my food.” Blue says quietly.
“Good, but its not like you were always making it for him in particular, you love to cook in general.” George says.
‘I guess.” Blue says.
Unable to cope with being around George and Blue, Gervais heads to Robin’s a day early and has a lovely day with Robin and his mom and tries to push all thoughts of Blue out of his head. Robin’s mom has contacted a few people about Gervais mom and several are happy to be put in contact with him.
“I know you’re probably planning on a wild spring break at Spence’s beach house but maybe we could spend a few days visiting people.” Robin’s mom says.
“I’d love that. I really would. I’m not worried about missing a few nights partying.” Gervais says.
“I’d come too.” Robin says.
“Some mother, son time would be lovely.” Robin’s mom says.
“Feels weird to be arranging this without Blue.” Robin says.
“How is he doing? He’s got a lot to process.” Robin’s mom says.
“Not well at all. He’s a mess.” Gervais says.
“That’s a bit strong.” Robin says.
“No it isn’t. He was all set to leave George and then he had a change of heart. Chris thinks he’s just been putting it on to get me back.” Blue says.
“Blue would never do that.” Robin’s mom says.
“That’s what I said.” Blue says.
“You being with Chris must be making everything so much harder for him to deal with. It must be incredibly confusing for him that you rejected him so completely, so abruptly, only to take up with his twin a few weeks later.” Robin’s mom says.
“I thought Gervais was crazy for staying with Chris but they are stable and happy together. It’s not Gervais fault he fell for him.” Robin says.
“I understand I just have a lot of empathy for Blue who seems to have lost both of you when he needs his friends the most and he has always been there for both of you.” Robin’s mom says.
“I tried but I can’t do any more.” Gervais says.
“Have you tried? You’ve talked a lot about getting him to leave his boyfriend but not anything about trying to reconcile him with his mother. Nothing about helping him through the rejection by his father or getting to know his brother, who you are dating. Neither of you has stepped up.” Robin’s mom says.
“He’s pushed us away. We tried in the beginning but he pushed us away. He knows we are there when he needs us.” Robin says feeling helpless.
“Would it help if I came up with you? We could go up tonight and have the lunch we planned tomorrow. I could talk to him.” Robin’s mom asks.
“It’s worth a try but with George being back I can’t guarantee he’ll come and he hasn’t talked to Cheryl about anything, she is someone else he’d been avoiding.” Gervais says.
“That’s understandable. She knew all along and is close to his mom.” Robin’s mom says.
“I’m sure if we can get him away from George he’ll open up and it’ll all be fine.” Gervais says.
“Or he’ll feel entirely alone. Do you really think a break up the week before finals is good for him?” Robin’s mom asks.
“No I guess not. It’s almost winter break, between Andy, Spence, Clara and Roe he’ll talk to someone.” Blue says.
“Yeah he trusts Roe and she didn’t know everything. She’ll probably help him see George for what he is too.” Robin says.
“Maybe if the two of you stop fixating on George and start listening to what Blue needs he’ll trust you again.” Robin’s mom says.
“I guess. He’s usually so forgiving. I guess I’ve been waiting for him to get over it and come to me which isn’t right.” Robin says.
“It isn’t like you to let a friendship go.” Robin’s mom says.
“Blue can be hard work. It isn’t Robin’s fault. Blue has stopped doing anything with us.” Gervais says.
“I still do some kid wrangling at yoga with him.” Robin says.
“But you don’t stay to the general class or have dinner after like I used to.” Gervais says.
“No he doesn’t talk to me.” Robin says.
“We haven’t abandoned him, he is cutting us out.” Gervais says.
“But you got on most of this weekend? And he was nice to John. I think he’s lonely and mom is right we need to make the effort because he always does for us.” Robin says feeling awful that he’s also not been there for Blue.
George and Blue are having a quiet day. Blue is so confused. George is being really sweet and has apologized over and over for dropping Blue this weekend and Blue believe he is sorry. They’ll get through this. He knows they will.
“I’m going to miss you over break.” Blue says.
“Me too. It will be so boring at home.” George says.
“We can talk every day.” Blue says.
“I wish you’d just come home with me.” George says.
“I have to talk to my mom and Bea might come up.” Blue says.
“I know, I’ll still wish it.” George says.
“You could come up with Bea.” Blue says.
“Nah it’ll be a big deal. I wouldn’t want to intrude.” George says.
“Andy, Spence and Gervais will be there.” Blue says.
“Yeah like I want to spend any time with them.” George says.
“Next semester we need to find some new friends. Or you could introduce me to your robot friends.” Blue suggests.
“Yeah. I guess I thought all your friends seemed so cool and fun and I thought I needed gay friends but I don’t really, I have you.” George says and Blue smiles, a new social group is just what he needs.